random thoughts.....


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RANDOM THOUGHTS

1.Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are

removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of

the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

2. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a

replacement.

3.Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

4. There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.

5. Life is sexually transmitted.

6. An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

7. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who is the fool

who said "Quit while you're ahead?"

8. Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

9. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

10. Get the last word in: Apologize.

11. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach that person to

use the Neowin and they won't bother you for weeks.

12. Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but

you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.

13. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying

of nothing.

14. Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one

talks about seeing UFOs like they use to?

15. Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

16. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention

to criticism.

17. Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a

substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

18. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world

is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

19. Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come

to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.

20. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a

whole box to start a campfire?

AND THE # 1 THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

You read about all these terrorists -- most of them came here legally,

but they hung around on these expired visas, some for as long as 10

-15 years. Now, compare that to Blockbuster; you are two days late with a

video and those people are all over you. Let's put Blockbuster in

charge of immigration.

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i have one...

i think it is a great idea to let Arnold runs the governor cuz there are alot of immigrations problem. Hence, Arnold loves to kill Aliens.

this is a old joke i heard long ago...

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