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? Over Oslo, Norway, a wire on a Norwegian Air Ambulance caught fire but was allowed to burn after crew members noticed a "cabbage-like smell" in the cabin but assumed it was only the patients on board passing gas.

? In San Antonio, Texas, a 52-year-old bicyclist wearing only a black thong while riding along a busy road was arrested after motorists complained that when he reared up to pedal harder, all they couldn't see was the thong.

? After her home's telephone number appeared in the movie "Bruce Almighty" as the phone number by which to call God, a woman in Pinellas Park, Fla., reported being "inundated with calls" -- up to 30 an hour -- and asked that Universal Studios reimburse her for usage of her phone.

? In Florence, Ore., a man wrote a letter to the editor critical of police for failing to arrest criminals in the town. That's when police discovered the letter writer himself was wanted on outstanding warrants in Arkansas and California and arrested him.

? A 14-year-old in Barnstable, Mass., was arrested after distributing drugs to several of his eighth-grade classmates. The drug was Viagra.

? In Bergen, N.J., police finally cracked a vandalism investigation, sparked by reports from several residents that someone was breaking the side-view mirrors on their cars. Threatened with arrest was a woodpecker who saw his reflection in the car mirrors and, thinking it was a rival, began attacking them in a fury.

? At a press conference in Austin, Texas, where the owner of a trophy shop picked up his $37 million lottery winnings, proceedings were cut short when the man said he hated to miss more than one day of work and needed to get back to his customers.

? In North Chelmsford, Mass., four months after an alligator bit off her arm while she was playing golf in Florida, a 72-year-old, self-professed "golfaholic" confessed she was just glad the alligator chose not to bite off a leg, picked up a golf club with her one remaining arm and went back out on the course again.

? At a Waffle House in Jefferson, Ohio, a 67-year-old man -- Lawrence "Tuna-Melt" Clark -- ate there so often that his funeral was held outside of the restaurant and his remains were put on the hood of a Chevrolet. In his memory and honor, mourners drank black coffee and smoked cigarettes.

? In Portage, Ind., pop singer Michael Jackson was so taken with the uniforms of the Gary police officers who escorted him around the city that before leaving he stopped off at a Star Uniforms outlet and spent $1,100 on a uniform, hat, patches and police flashlight so he could look like a Gary police officer, too.

? Angered over an argument that first developed over swapping vegetables for potatoes, a waiter became so mad with the customers that he followed them home, where he smashed eggs on their house, dribbled maple syrup over their hedge and sprinkled powdered sugar and instant mashed potato flakes on their lawn.

? In Kansas City, Mo., where each year the public library plays host to a food drive in which the tardy book holders can donate canned or nonperishable goods, a man walked into a library branch and paid off his overdue book fine with 600 packages of ramen noodles.

Finally, our own latest favorite:

? During a robbery attempt of a gas station in Newberry County, S.C., a man trying to camouflage his identity by pulling his shirt over his head and seeing through an arm hole was forced to flee instead when the station attendant began laughing so hard that he couldn't get the cash drawer open.

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