Big Tits


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Ok this is quite long but read it, its worth it.

RACING was thrown into turmoil last night by a horse called BIG ######.

The sport of kings, which frowns upon cheeky monickers, was caught out after the mount was cleared by French authorities.

Britain?s highbrow Jockey Club, founded in 1750, tries to prevent saucy names.

But it seems nothing can stop UK racegoers getting to see Big ###### in all her glory on our tracks.

Jockey Club spokesman John Maxse said France?s authorisation meant it was a racing certainty that the horse can run in Britain.

He said: ?There is a reciprocal agreement whereby the French officials ? France Galop ? check our names and we check theirs.

?But we never saw Big ######. However, now it has run once, I suspect it would be impossible to get it changed.?

The three-year-old made her racing debut last month at the Prix des Favorites, Longchamp, near Paris.

The filly was ridden by the apprentice Alexis Acker but he could squeeze little out of Big ######, which finished ninth in a field of 12.

Explaining her name, Big ######? trainer Elie Lellouche said: ?We were having a family lunch and were trying to come up with ideas.

?My son suggested Gros Nichons ? but that wouldn?t have got past France Galop so we decided on the English equivalent.?

Big ###### is not the first attempt to get a naughty name past the authorities.

Betty Swallocks, Shy Tall Knight, Buggush Heights and Ho Lee Fook all failed.

You have to think backwards to discover why Skcollob and Tuls Ytsan fell too.

Cupid Stunt and Fog Ducker did not make it.

But some have slipped through the net.

Shy Talk ran with some success, between 1978 and 1982 for Oswestry trainer Arthur Jones.

And the horse with the most famous rude name of all, Mary Hinge, won five times, collecting nearly ?26,000 prize-money for trainer Julie Cecil.

She also trained Joe Blob, another useful runner.

Wear The Fox Hat got as far as the five-day entries for a Folkestone maiden in 1995 before the Jockey Club twigged.

No such problems for Noble Locks which, not surprisingly, has been gelded.

The Dikler, Grand National winner Rubstic, Forty Two Dee and Amazing Bust were others to make the grade.

Lellouche has not yet lined up any UK races for Big ###### ? much to the relief of commentators who would look at the two words and wonder how to get their tongues round them.

Channel 4?s voice of racing Derek Thompson said last night: ?I?m not quite sure how we?d do this.

?I think I?d either have to say it quickly or refer to the jockey handling it well or sticking his chest out.

?We certainly wouldn?t get away with saying, ?Big ###### is bouncing over the line? at 3pm on national TV.?

TV racing?s mischievous John McCririck joked: ?If I had my way, punters would see Big ###### every day.

?We need to see more Big ###### on British courses. I?m a huge fan.

?I?d personally lay her. And imagine the fun the bookies and public would have ? she?d be the best backed horse in history.

?Anything to put a smile on the face of racing should be applauded.?

The Jockey Club have a strict code of conduct that ensures all nags? names are above aboard.

The rules are carefully monitored by Weatherbys, who control the registration of horses.

They insist on no swear words, no figures or initials, no rude names, none longer than 18 letters, no protected names, no duplications and nothing confusing.

For example, you could not call your nag Stewards? Enquiry. It would do a commentator?s head in. Photo Finish is out of the question for the same reason.

:Dut Big ###### has romped home with a stunt to leave punters laughing.

:D

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post-48-1057765205.jpg

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Shh...you're a mod. Set the example. :p

Hey! Until Neobond can point out in the mods handbook that we can't appreciate a woman's assets, I stand by my comment thankyou!!!

;)

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