A young bride


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A young girl, not terribly experienced with men, ended up marrying an older man. Her mother agreed to stay in the house on the wedding night to give her any advice she may need, since she was a bit nervous.

The happy couple retired to their bedroom, and he took off his shirt.

The bride ran out of the room and off to her mother.

"Mother! Mother! he has hair all over his chest," she said.

"It's all right, it's quite natural," says the mother, so the girl goes back. The bridegroom takes his trousers off, and she rushes out again.

"Mother! Mother! he has hair on his legs too." The mother reassures her again, so back she goes.

The husband takes off his socks, revealing that one of his feet is false. The bride rushes off yet again.

"Mother! Mother, he's got one foot," she says.

"A FOOT?" gasps the mother. "You stay here, this is a job for your mother."

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A newly married man was discussing his honeymoon. He says to his buddy at lunch, "Last night, I rolled over, tapped my beautiful young wife on the shoulder, gave her a wink, and we had ourselves a performance! Later that night, about 2 o'clock, I rolled over, gave my sweetie a nudge, and we had ourselves another performance. Well, being so newly married and not yet tired of the task, I waited quietly in bed while my beauty slept until I couldn't wait any longer. It was 4 o'clock when I gave her a little nudge. She opened her blue eyes and smiled sweetly. We immediately had ourselves a rehearsal."

"A rehearsal?" his buddy asks, "Don't you mean a performance?"

"No, because a rehearsal is when nobody comes."

Note: Posted this here as it fits the theme! :D

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