ProdeN Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it. 4. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any. 5. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 6. No one is listening until you fart. 7. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else. 8. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 9. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 11. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you. 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 13. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it. 14. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. 15. Some days you are the bug; some days you are the windshield. 16. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment. 17. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket. 18. A closed mouth gathers no foot. 19. Duct tape is like the Force. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 20. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. 21. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving. 22. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it. 23. Never miss a good chance to shut up. 24. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butt... then things get worse. 25. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. 26. There is a fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness." 27. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. 28. There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday...around age 11. 29. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 30. THE MOST WASTED DAY OF ALL IS ONE IN WHICH WE HAVE NOT LAUGHED Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eevoo Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 :laugh: l i love these ones 14 and 23 (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neo003 Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 lol lol lol lol lol lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravager Posted July 16, 2003 Share Posted July 16, 2003 27 is great, and true. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kipper Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 Wonderful, and very very true stuff :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blaise Veteran Posted July 19, 2003 Veteran Share Posted July 19, 2003 #1 and #10 I used to have under my sig, still have em pasted in my notepad thing in user cp :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted July 19, 2003 Share Posted July 19, 2003 LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wcc Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 25 is great. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skunny Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 OMG 10 is the best....i have ur shoes f***er! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliot B. Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 10. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes. :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 25 is good man... :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliot B. Posted July 20, 2003 Share Posted July 20, 2003 The last one is so true! (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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