Is hell exothermic or endothermic?


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This one requires a bit more thinking so for many of you it will fly in one eye and excrete from your erm.....well :laugh:

(btw that was just messing about up there :ninja)

Dr. Schlambaugh, a senior lecturer at the Chemical

Engineering

Department,University of Oklahoma, is known for posing

questions on

final exams like: "Why do airplanes fly?"

In May a few years ago, the "Momentum, Heat and Mass

Transfer " exam

paper contained the question:

"Is Hell exothermic or endothermic? Support your answer with

proof."

Most students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's

Law or

similar. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we must postulate that if souls exist, they must have

some mass.

If they do, then a mole of souls also must have a mass. So,

at what rate

are souls moving into hell and at what rate are souls

leaving? I think

we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it does

not leave.

Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for souls entering Hell, let's look at the different

religions that

exist in the world today. Some religions say that if you

are not a

member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there

are more than

one of these religions, and people do not belong to more

than one

religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to

Hell. With

the birth and death rates what they are, we can expect the

number of

souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the

rate of

change in the volume of Hell. Boyle's Law states that in

order for the

temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the ratio

of the mass

of the souls and volume needs to stay constant.

[Answer 1] So, if Hell is expanding at a slower rate than

the rate at

which souls enter Hell, then the temperature in Hell will

increase until

all Hell breaks loose.

[Answer 2] Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster

than the

increase in souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure

will drop

until Hell freezes over.

So which is it? If we accept the postulate (given to me by

Teresa Banyan

during freshman year) that "it'll be a cold day in Hell

before I sleep

with you", and taking into account that I still have not

succeeded in

having sexual relations with her, then [Answer 2] cannot be

correct;

...... thus, Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

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Believe it or not, this has been posted here before... The first lines were different...

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington Chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was "so profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law, (gas cools off when it expands and heats). One student wrote the following answer:

<insert rest of joke>

Funny eh, two professors, in different states...asking the same question... And two of their students give identical answers... :rolleyes:

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