Know Won Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, madam. You don't know me but I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in. "Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a speciality of babies." "That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat. Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me." "Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith. "Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure." "Don't I know!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London." "Oh my God!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture. "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good look." "Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement. "Yes," the photographer said."And for more than three hours too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your, eh......equipment ?" "That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can get to work." "Tripod?" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. "Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Madam ? Madam?..... Good Lord, she's fainted!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dougkinzinger Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Oh jeez......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[idkfa] Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 :rofl: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaticX Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 haahaa....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Veteran Posted July 23, 2003 Veteran Share Posted July 23, 2003 :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shihchiun Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 lol :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MR_Candyman Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 oh, that was great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 haha.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeoMasamune Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Not that's pretty funny! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lawtai Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 lol :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tangoman444 Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 great lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliott Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Oh man! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMeK Veteran Posted July 23, 2003 Veteran Share Posted July 23, 2003 :o word plays are great (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted July 23, 2003 Share Posted July 23, 2003 Kinda long but God damn it is fun-ny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 :D :laugh: :woot: :uberhump: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrk Reviews Posted July 24, 2003 Reviews Share Posted July 24, 2003 heee, more innuendo than a porn film :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight' Posted July 24, 2003 Share Posted July 24, 2003 wow I really enjoyed that, and the ending was a classic :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
altezza Veteran Posted July 25, 2003 Veteran Share Posted July 25, 2003 Little too long but that was good! :D (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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