Different of kind Jokes!


Recommended Posts

BAR JOKES!

A GUY WALKS INTO A BAR... OUCH!

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. After a few more he needs to go to the can. He doesn't want anyone to steal his drink so he puts a sign on it saying, "I spat in this beer, do not drink!"

After a few minutes he returns and there is another sign next to his beer saying, "So did I!"

THE FREE BEER CHALLENGE

A new guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar...

FREE BEER! FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS THE TEST!

So the guy asks the bartender what the test is.

The Bartender replies "Well, first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the WHOLE thing at once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You gotta make things right for her."

The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Wherez zat teeqeelah?"

He grabs the gallon of tequilla with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.

The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped and big scratches all over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"

INSULTS JOKES!

YO MOMMA'S SO STUPID!

Yo momma's so stupid,

she tried to drop acid but the car battery fell on her foot.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican Phone Company.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she ordered a cheese burger from McDonald's and said "Hold the cheese."

Yo momma's so stupid,

she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she got fired from the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

Yo momma's so stupid,

when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she ordered her sushi well done.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she thought she needed a token to get on soul train.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she bought a solar powered flashlight.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she told everyone that she was "illegitiment" because she couldn't read.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she got hit by a parked car.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she sold the car for gas money.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she thought asphalt was a skin disease.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she thought Delta Airlines was a sorority.

Yo momma's so stupid,

when she saw the "NC-17" sign, she went home and got 16 friends.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

Yo momma's so stupid,

when she heard 90% of all accidents occur around the home, she moved.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she got fired from a blow-job.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she asked you what the number for 911 was.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she thinks Christmas Wrap is Snoop Doggy Dogg's holiday album.

Yo momma's so stupid,

she bought a video camera to record cable TV shows at home.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:o

carefull with the your momma jokes, EmuZombie could appear any second and post a few hundred :p

btw: teh solar flashlight solar_flashlight.gif ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:o

carefull with the your momma jokes, EmuZombie could appear any second and post a few hundred :p

lol, i was just thinking of doing that...

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yo momma's so stupid,

she thought Sherlock Holmes was a housing project.

ahahaha i thought that was good,

and i like the rainbows.... reminds me of a gay friend....

he likes rainbows too..... Thats about the only thign we do....

Look at rainbows.....

I like how tehy have many colors.... :yes:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

she called the 7-11 to see when they closed.

that sounds like something i would do.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

:omg: :rofl: wow.. i havn't heard half of those yo momma jokes.. they are so funny :happy: good post.

And so many (Y)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.