.Atlantis Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it. How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A man once told me . . ." How do you fix a woman's watch? Don?t bother; there?s a clock on the oven. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months: I don't like to interrupt her. What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence? Divorced. Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It is called Wedding Cake. Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring, Wedding Ring, Suffering. Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower." Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad: "That happens in every country, son." What? the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday? Forget it once. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Solarix Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[XS] Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 What? the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday? Forget it once. So True! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BTallack Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always. I've dated a couple of girls like that... :whistle: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tran Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Lol! Great one GUISkins! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMeK Veteran Posted July 28, 2003 Veteran Share Posted July 28, 2003 good jokes (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AgEnTsMiTh Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 Great stuff!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hav0c Posted July 28, 2003 Share Posted July 28, 2003 How do you fix a woman's watch? Don?t bother; there?s a clock on the oven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 not funny, nice try though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 so damn true man... :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deimos Posted July 29, 2003 Share Posted July 29, 2003 haha those are the funniest ones ive heard in a long time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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