Redmondian Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning lables be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of Inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees and lower back. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Mack you tink you can tipe real gode :laugh: :beer: + :martini: = :sleepy: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Warwagon MVC Posted August 11, 2003 MVC Share Posted August 11, 2003 ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may make a really ugly women... look really good! ------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may make u think "Mr Happy" can stand up.... when infact "Mr Happy" ain't go'in no where! ------------------------------------------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
empty Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 rofl, so true man Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunnyB Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 (edited) WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause strange people, animals or objects to appear in your bed in the morning. :woot: Edited August 11, 2003 by SunnyB Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaptain chump Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may make you think everyone is singing WITH you, while in-fact, you're singing by yourself. ------------------------------------------------------ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redmondian Posted August 11, 2003 Author Share Posted August 11, 2003 ------------------------------------------------------WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may make a really ugly women... look really good! ------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may make u think "Mr Happy" can stand up.... when infact "Mr Happy" ain't go'in no where! ------------------------------------------------------ Those are Great! (Y) Thanks for adding your warnings! :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farchord Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol can make many of your friends go away Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniPi Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 I'm suprised this wasn't on there: WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can dance. :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eye_see_you Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 I love these so much I had to print them out Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
macster Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think your car is still on the road Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cesardrgn Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 I love the first one on the list... :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elliott Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 Alcohol is dangerous. :wacko: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trashpickinman Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 Warning: Alcohol may make you forget how to open doors. (just happened to me 2 minutes ago) LOL edit: Alcohol may make you forget proper english. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Quick Reply Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 ------------------------------------------------------ WARNING: The consumption of alcohol can make you think that others care about how drunk you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DrunkenMaster Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 .... Recalls first year of university ...... The frosh week was the only binge drinking I've done in years. I can say I've been through them all except for causing the pregnancy. The tip thing is a bit off though. Ever been drinking w/ a friend and the waitress is reall hot? I've thrown in a $10 tip small tabs before. Hey, I'm helping them stay hot. :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeR Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 god I can relate to these....great ones :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samoa Posted August 11, 2003 Share Posted August 11, 2003 Warning: posting about alcohol may make you drink. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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