aem4162 Posted September 6, 2003 Share Posted September 6, 2003 A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City?" The agent replies, "Just a minute..." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up. _____________________________________________ Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective replied. "A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?" "I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan." ______________________________________________ The investigation of Martha Stewart continues. Her recipe for chicken casserole is quite efficient. First you boil the chicken in water. And then you dump the stock. ______________________________________________ New Sex Study... It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead. ___________________________________________ This guy has been sitting in a bar all night, staring at a blonde wearing the tightest pants he's ever seen. Finally his curiosity gets the best of him, so he walks over and asks, "How do you get into those pants?" The young woman looks him over and replies, "Well, you could start by buying me a drink." ___________________________________________ Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion." Joe: "Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell." ______________________________________________ A woman's perfect breakfast: She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton. ______________________________________________ A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O.K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery," he answered. "What did he say," asked the nurse. "OOPS!" ______________________________________________ While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.. "What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?" "Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." ______________________________________________ Grandpa was driving with his 9 year old granddaughter and beeped the horn by mistake. She turned and looked at him for an explanation. He said, "I did that by accident." She replied, "I know that, Grandpa." He replied, "How did you know?" She said, "Because you didn't say "######!" afterwards. ---------------------------------------------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+BeLGaRaTh Subscriber¹ Posted September 6, 2003 Subscriber¹ Share Posted September 6, 2003 Very good Anita :) (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quboid Posted September 6, 2003 Share Posted September 6, 2003 Nice ones (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dpanda Posted September 6, 2003 Share Posted September 6, 2003 yup...lol..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aem4162 Posted September 6, 2003 Author Share Posted September 6, 2003 thank my sister for sending them to me :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
altezza Veteran Posted September 7, 2003 Veteran Share Posted September 7, 2003 Hahaha good jokes Anita ;) :D (Y) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Albino Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 Great jokes!!!! The best one is the new sex study!!!! lmao :p Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xpatx Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 those were great Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pina_colada Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 lol gd jokes! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iguana Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 New Sex Study...It has been determined, the most used sexual position for married couples is a doggie position. The husband sits up and begs. The wife rolls over and plays dead. ROFLMAO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enriq760 Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 exelnt jokes anita and sister of anita.. :yes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AshMan Posted September 7, 2003 Share Posted September 7, 2003 I loved the first one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hav0c Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."Joe: "Really?" Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell." Lol :laugh: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
futb0l Posted September 11, 2003 Share Posted September 11, 2003 the first one rocks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SMeK Veteran Posted September 11, 2003 Veteran Share Posted September 11, 2003 hehe very nice :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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