Getting Married...

[angusmann]

Hi all. I realize this might be a stupid question, and most people would think "Sheeshh..isn't it obvious?" but it's not, so here goes.

I'm a guy, and I'm living with my GF. I want to ask her to marry me, and I have no doubt the answer will be yes.

I plan to "pop the question" while we are away in December. But here's the thing.....

Should I have an engagement ring at the moment I ask? If so, how does it work if I don't know her ring size? What if I choose a correct-fitting ring but she doesn't like it or prefers another. She is very fussy about jewellery and I don't trust myself to choose one.

Is is bad protocol to ask the question, and LATER go out with her her to choose a ring? Or choose it's size?

If I understand correctly, an engagement ring is more elaborate and more expensive than a wedding ring. So I want to get it right.

What are the customs and protocols about choosing a ring?

Any help (perhaps from a neowin-ette) is much needed and much appreciated.

[C++]

Pretty sure you need to have the ring when you pop the question and have to pick it yourself, if you want to follow protocol. How do you expect to make this woman happy if you can't even tell what she likes? HUH? Yea. Anyway... If you don't know her ring size just steal one of her rings and show it to the jeweler.

[Sam Symons Veteran]

Buy a ring for her now, and remember the size. If it doesn't fit, ask what size she is. Doesn't have to be an expensive ring, just say you thought she might like it :)

[Minifig]

Here's an idea.

Bring her to the place you plan to buy the ring.. just say "you thought it'd be fun", and when she picks one up.. kneel down. :)

When she says yes, laugh and say "Now if I could just remember your ring size." She'll be so excited, she'll tell you.

[peacemf]

"borrow" one of her rings...

Also it depends on your budget and all, but the bigger the stone, the less likely she will complain :)

also if you choose one with a stone you should know that there are different grades of diamonds..

A.B,C,D,E,F etc

http://www.bluenile.com/diamonds_education...1&elem=text

that should help :)

[alacn]

take one of her rings to a jewellery shop and find out its size

[lsquare]

Is there a "minimum" that one should spend on a ring?

[Coldgunner]

As much as you'd like. But isn't it generally accepted to be 2 months wages or something?

[LightIdea]

What I did was, I took her out to a nice dinner, and then, because we both have silly humour, I did a simple mime act of pulling out a 'box' and giving her the 'box' and asking her to open it. I then took the 'ring' from the 'box' and put it on her finger. She thought it was hilarious! Then we went out the next day and got her a ring :)

[iZoom]

The price you spend on the ring is what you feel comfortable spending and what you can afford.

I financed mine and ended up getting a much nicer one for her than I expected. Its all about budget, quality, and her taste.

Don't make the mistake of getting a multi-diamond ring if she likes solitares or vice versa. Pick what YOU think works best for YOUR situation my friend.

*Getting married December 6th :D

[non.sequitur2]

Hi all. I realize this might be a stupid question, and most people would think "Sheeshh..isn't it obvious?" but it's not, so here goes.

I'm a guy, and I'm living with my GF. I want to ask her to marry me, and I have no doubt the answer will be yes.

I plan to "pop the question" while we are away in December. But here's the thing.....

Should I have an engagement ring at the moment I ask? If so, how does it work if I don't know her ring size? What if I choose a correct-fitting ring but she doesn't like it or prefers another. She is very fussy about jewellery and I don't trust myself to choose one.

Is is bad protocol to ask the question, and LATER go out with her her to choose a ring? Or choose it's size?

If I understand correctly, an engagement ring is more elaborate and more expensive than a wedding ring. So I want to get it right.

What are the customs and protocols about choosing a ring?

Any help (perhaps from a neowin-ette) is much needed and much appreciated.

Yes, you should have a ring when you propose. As for the size, the jeweler will resize the ring for her after you buy it, not a big deal.

Is is bad protocol to ask the question, and LATER go out with her her to choose a ring? Or choose it's size?

Yes.

If I understand correctly, an engagement ring is more elaborate and more expensive than a wedding ring.

Correct. An engagement ring is an expensive diamond ring, a wedding band is a gold band.

how does it work if I don't know her ring size?

Like I said, the jeweler resizes it for her. I would go with stealing one of her rings to bring to the jeweler, they'll put it on this pole-looking thing that will tell them the correct ring size.

[Hooya]

Hi all. I realize this might be a stupid question, and most people would think "Sheeshh..isn't it obvious?" but it's not, so here goes.

I'm a guy, and I'm living with my GF. I want to ask her to marry me, and I have no doubt the answer will be yes.

I plan to "pop the question" while we are away in December. But here's the thing.....

Should I have an engagement ring at the moment I ask? If so, how does it work if I don't know her ring size? What if I choose a correct-fitting ring but she doesn't like it or prefers another. She is very fussy about jewellery and I don't trust myself to choose one.

Is is bad protocol to ask the question, and LATER go out with her her to choose a ring? Or choose it's size?

This really depends on the woman. My wife appreciated that I picked something out, put thought into it and all that stuff, but if I would have popped the question but told her that I wanted to pick the ring out together she would have been fine with that. Know your woman well enough to know how traditional she is that way. Ideally you want to pick it out yourself, though.

If I understand correctly, an engagement ring is more elaborate and more expensive than a wedding ring. So I want to get it right.

What are the customs and protocols about choosing a ring?

Any help (perhaps from a neowin-ette) is much needed and much appreciated.

Often an engagement ring will have a matching band that you can buy at the same time to ensure that they will look good together. A wedding band isn't always just a plain band, it can have stones in it as well. The engagement ring is the more ornate one, but my wife, for instance, has diamonds inset in her wedding band as well (so does mine). Learn a bit about the "Four C's" of diamonds on your own before going into a jeweler, because they will try to sell you on color and carat more than cut and clarity, since those usually make more of a difference in price for them, but depending on your setting you should go for better clarity over color for instance. You can get away with a less than D color (you'll know what I mean as you do a little reading on the topic) if you have a yellow gold setting, for example. Princess cut tends to look bigger per carat than the traditional round cuts.

Well, there's a little input for you there.

[_bobcat_ Veteran]

Hi all. I realize this might be a stupid question, and most people would think "Sheeshh..isn't it obvious?" but it's not, so here goes.

I'm a guy, and I'm living with my GF. I want to ask her to marry me, and I have no doubt the answer will be yes.

I plan to "pop the question" while we are away in December. But here's the thing.....

Should I have an engagement ring at the moment I ask? If so, how does it work if I don't know her ring size? What if I choose a correct-fitting ring but she doesn't like it or prefers another. She is very fussy about jewellery and I don't trust myself to choose one.

Is is bad protocol to ask the question, and LATER go out with her her to choose a ring? Or choose it's size?

If I understand correctly, an engagement ring is more elaborate and more expensive than a wedding ring. So I want to get it right.

What are the customs and protocols about choosing a ring?

Any help (perhaps from a neowin-ette) is much needed and much appreciated.

There are lots of traditions and superstitions surrounding engagement rings and marriage and all the rest of it.

In my opinion you need to do what's best for you and your girlfriend.

If you can find her ring size and confidently buy something she will like then it would be a nice touch to get her one in advance. Otherwise, pop the question and then take her out to choose one. When I got engaged, we chose a ring together, but we also spent some time discussing it before hand. Probably not as romantic but we ended up with something we both like that didn't bankrupt him. Also, some rings can't be resized as easily as others. If you choose to risk buying one that doesn't fit, double check if it can be resized.

[White Cuban]

As much as you'd like. But isn't it generally accepted to be 2 months wages or something?

i find the general idea idiotic, its unbelievable how its coined in society.

i woulden't listen to anyone here, this is just my opinion, but assuming you guys are in love, im surprised people care about these things.

do your own thing, its up to you, everything is.

[Andrew Lyle Global Moderator]

The jeweller should give you a special little cardboard cut out thing to put one of her rings on, which will give you the size.

Depending on what one you get, you just put one of her rings on it, and go with that.

and YES. have the ring with you when you ask!

[spacey]

If there is a way to get a ring that she wears on the ring finger, borrow one. If she has a sister of similar body type, guess with her hand size.

Like some people said, some rings are easily re-sized and some are not.

Its nice when it fits from the start for sure, but when I bought one it was a little big.

As for amount, I would just spend as much as you and your gf are comfortable spending. Jewelery stores etc. make up stupid "guidelines" like 3 months of pay and I don't think that is reasonable for most people.

[NightCrawler.]

As much as you'd like. But isn't it generally accepted to be 2 months wages or something?

As they say: If you find yourself in the majority of the populations following, you need to give yourself a serious looking.

I think it'd be best to look at a ring from a perspective of how it looks rather than its price tag, and sometimes the best things aren't necessarily the most expensive things.

[DrunkenMaster]

i find the general idea idiotic, its unbelievable how its coined in society.

i woulden't listen to anyone here, this is just my opinion, but assuming you guys are in love, im surprised people care about these things.

do your own thing, its up to you, everything is.

Congrats on the big news! Wish you all the best.

My personal view is instead of spend $20 G's on a weeding (or more) I'd spend 20 Gs on the honey moon.

Might I suggest an alternative affordable, original romantic gesture that has yet to be tried:

Buy a marriage certificate and hang it on the fridge. Sign your name on it and say "Honey, I left an important document to sign on the fridge! Take a look at it when you can please. Just say "Yes" when you're done and I'll kiss you."

[Skulltrail-old]

Go shopping with her. All women like to shop! After a couple of hours of shopping you can bring her to a jewelry shop and check out the rings, be smooth about it. Don't be like, "OMG TRY THIS RING! WHAT'S YOUR SIZE?!" Tell her to try the bracelets then the necklaces and finally the rings. Tell her she's getting a big surprise (you can say it is a bracelet, a necklace, or a ring)

[Emily_June]

There's no reason you absolutely need to have the ring when you propose to her.

It really depends on you and your girlfriend, and how you want the proposal to go. Like Persephone said, if you feel confident enough to pick one out for her, then go ahead and do it. There's no reason you need to have the correct ring size. I think it's pretty normal to buy a ring, and have it sized for her finger AFTER she accepts--usually together. Most guys don't know their girlfriend's ring size; there's no reason he should be expected to know, that's a pretty obscure bit of information to know about someone.

Ryan asked me to marry him without a ring, and that was perfectly fine. It was casual, he knew I'd say yes, it wasn't a big show--just how I prefer it.

Do it how you want to do it, and how you think your girlfriend will enjoy it. You should never do it the way you think you should do it, just because that's how everyone else does it. Come up with your own ideas.

Good luck.

-Emily

[Minifig]

Go shopping with her. All women like to shop! After a couple of hours of shopping you can bring her to a jewelry shop and check out the rings, be smooth about it. Don't be like, "OMG TRY THIS RING! WHAT'S YOUR SIZE?!" Tell her to try the bracelets then the necklaces and finally the rings. Tell her she's getting a big surprise (you can say it is a bracelet, a necklace, or a ring)

Skip the surprise thing, but that sounds like a good idea.

[monkey13]

Just ask her. Make the occasion special, romantic and in a way that is meaningful to both of you.

Don't worry about the ring. Unless you know exactly what ring she would like (metal, stone, cut, setting etc etc) go and choose it together. Trust me no woman is going to be unhappy about shopping for a diamond ring.

She'll probably try on loads of rings and change her mind a dozen times.

Also if you're in the UK take a trip to Birmingham's jewellery quarter. It's one of the cheapest places to buy certified diamonds in the world.