Need some advice…
I recently split up with my boyfriend of 1 year and I’m feeling really guilty about it.
Most of the reason I’m feeling guilty is because I dumped him for someone else. I absolutely fancy the pants off of this new guy and I think it’s the fact that I forgot about my ex so quickly because of him that I’m feeling so guilty. I just feel really sorry for my ex. But let me start at the beginning.
My ex was so cute and a total sweetheart. He was a true gentleman and never had a bad word to say to me. I could get away with quite a lot (and this is how the problems started I think) because he loved me so much. He had a decent paying job and would always buy me lots of things we girls love such as clothes, shoes, spa days, romantic meals, jewellery and the odd surprise here and there.
A couple of months ago it was my birthday and I had a night out arranged. All of my friends from Uni and a couple of friends from home (there was A LOT of us) went into town and obviously my ex came along as well. My ex doesn’t have many friends really and they were all busy this night so in a sense he came out with us alone. The days before he splashed out for me to get a spray tan, my nails done, my hair done and he also got me a really short sexy dress and a pair of skyscraper heels (I think these alone were around £300 ). Needless to say he got me some sexy underwear just to complete the package. He was so nice.
Anyway on the night out all of my mates were complimenting me ALL night on how beautiful I looked. I felt a little awkward at first, I’m already about 2-3 inches taller than my boyfriend but in these heels I absolutely TOWERED over him, and he was saying “oh I haven’t thought this through very well” haha! I kept leaning on his shoulder and patting him on top of the head to tease him . This is where it started I think. During the night out I was getting so much attention from men coming up to me or just staring at me that he was getting a little jealous and anxious.
I really loved him and I didn’t for one minute think that he would feel insecure over it all. He was never the insecure type but this night he was starting to be all narky and sarcastic with me and making out like I was loving the male attention. Well I was a bit but I wasn’t planning on acting on it or anything. It got to about 1 o clock and he was pestering me to come home because he was getting bored but I was having so much fun with my friends that I didn’t want to. It was my night and he was ruining it, and he was supposed to be my boyfriend.
A little later on I was in the smoking area with one of my friends and this absolutely gorgeous guy come up to me and started talking and flirting with me. He was like 6ft 4 so a lot taller than me even in my skyscraper heels, totally RIPPED, gorgeous face and smile and he was dressed so stylishly. He was just amazing. Obviously I was taken but I couldn’t help but flirt with him because he was so cheeky , teased me and was somehow charming at the same time. I had a great time with him and I noticed how flirty I was getting because I was playing with and tossing my hair around and touching his arm and I come over really giggly. He asked me to dance so I did, and believe me he could DANCE. After a few minutes I ended up grinding on him but at this point my boyfriend found me again and just came up to me and said “I’m going” with the most disgusted and angry look on his face. I didn’t go after him right away, I just danced with the guy for a bit and he ended up giving me his number. It felt good but I wasn’t planning on doing anything.
Over the next couple of days I managed to calm my boyfriend down and made a lot of excuses for why I was dancing with this guy. He was still really put out about it and he kept asking questions about the guy and who he was and how did I know him etc. I got really angry eventually because he wouldn’t shut up about it and then he ended up buying me more clothes just to say sorry. I accepted the clothes but I was still ****ed at him.
I guess I knew it was over at this point but stupidly I didn’t officially end it with my ex. I rang the nightclub guy and we went on a couple of dates while my ex was on nights (guilt is swelling as I write this :’() and after like the third date he took me back to his house. He had a nice house, a nice BMW and everything he owned was kept all nice, neat and tidy. It was perfect. I just couldn’t keep my hands off of him and couldn’t stop kissing him.
Needless to say he undressed me slowly and led me to his bedroom while I still had my heels and knickers on (he’s too tall haha ) and DEAR GOD he was AMAZING in bed. He was so good at pleasuring me. He was passionate and kissed every inch of my body, all the way down even to my feet! He was amazing with his fingers and brought me to orgasm with his tongue. I orgasmed even before he got inside of me, he was so considerate and wanting to please me I was on cloud nine!
We had many wild nights like this. The sex was just amazing. He would whisper things in my ear, he knew when to be dominant and he knew when to be gentle. Honestly ladies my body would just shake when he made love to me and I just couldn’t help but scream and shout his name. The problem is I brought him back to our house (risky I know) one time because it was convenient and my ex caught us because he got a flyer from work. Basically my ex heard me screaming in pleasure and shouting this guys name at the top of my lungs and he I’m guessing he planned on bursting in on us and making an angry scene but when he opened the door (this was a horrible moment) he just broke down at the sight of us in the most intimate sex position I’ve experienced. My boyfriend ran of f without saying a word.
My ex never pleasured me like this and with him the sex was probably less than average. It must have been horrible for him and I feel so guilty. But this next part is worse. We heard the door slam and the nightclub guy just looked at me smirked and started running his hands over me and continued as if nothing happened. This made me so hot for him you WOULD NOT believe and I had an absolute EARTH SHATTERING orgasm afterwards.
I won’t go into more detail but let’s just say my ex has called me every name under the sun since and keeps texting me, phoning me and sending me messages from his Facebook and other people’s Facebook. I ended it with him after we got caught, needless to say.
Should I be feeling this guilty? I mean I’ve hurt him this deeply but is it ok for me to move on and enjoy my relationship with my new man.
Please help I feel so, so bad.
Sorry it’s so long.