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A Stripper Reviews the Saints of "Hitman: Absolution"


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#1 Asrokhel

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 19:53

A few months ago, I was so horrified at the science in Prometheus that I interviewed scientists, experts in the fields that were portrayed in the Ridley Scott film. After asking them some frankly leading questions, they confirmed that the science was deeply unscientific.

Fast forward to this week, when I played Hitman: Absolution. Good game. Pity about the former stripper/prostitute nun assassins, also known as “the Saints.” These characters appeared only briefly, but they left that same tang of bad writing in my mouth.

But just how bad were the Saints (which you can see for yourselves, here)? I decided to get an expert opinion from Athena* (*not her real name), a former stripper who worked her way through school. She told me exactly what she thought about them.

Hitman: Absolution has characters who are ex-strippers/ex-prostitutes. They left their jobs to become assassins. Does working as a stripper prepare you for a job as a hitwoman?

Stripping keeps you physically fit. I wasn’t a big user of the pole, but when I did, it gave me a workout. And so will walking around in high heels for eight hours. Also, I moved my body quite a bit.

That’s the physical aspect. How does it prepare you emotionally?

Well, on the nights when you get treated like crap for eight hours it’s understandable that a person might feel like killing someone by the time she goes home. But really, any job where you get treated like crap could do the same.

These women are called “the Saints” because they also happen to be Christians.

That doesn’t seem very plausible. I don’t understand why strippers would seriously become assassins, especially if they are Christians. I mean…what kind of Christians are they? Are they Republicans?

Hard to tell. What do you think about the way they’re dressed in skin-tight latex and ripped stockings?

The nun/stripper costumes seem really gratuitous to me. Most of the strippers I knew would not walk around in public dressed that way: I didn’t know any women who worked as strippers who maintained their work personas outside of the clubs. I always tried to look like a normal person: jeans and sweaters, like the girl next door.

I’m disturbed by their clothes, because what’s the point of these costumes? It just seems [IO Interactive] wanted to put some T&A in there, and they came up with some ridiculous excuse to do that.

You can tell they’re Catholic because they’re wearing nun’s habits. Why do you think they’re wearing their habits on the job?

It was their cover. You could probably catch people off guard in a costume. Your targets wouldn’t be expecting it. But they removed their habits before the fight because it’s probably it’s a lot easier to fight if you’re not wearing a dress.

But they’re also wearing heels.

I don’t know why they would keep on their stiletto heels unless they were planning on stabbing someone with them. That’s not very practical. What if you needed to run away?

And if stiletto platforms gave you the advantage in warfare, how come our Marines and Navy SEALs don’t wear them?

I would like the makers of this videogame to go home and put on some platform stiletto heels and try to seriously fight one another in them…that is, if they can walk.

Why do you think the Saints are carrying guns openly?

I don’t know. Maybe they think people will assume the guns are part of their act. What would you think if you saw a beautiful woman in patent leather mini-skirt, fishnets, and platform stiletto heels toting an assault rifle? Would you think assassin? Or bachelor party?

So what did you think about the trailer overall?

I think it’s an excuse to show violence against women by making them the initiators of violence. It’s as if the makers of this video game are saying, “Hey, these women asked for it. It’s okay to kill them and beat them up because they’re the ‘dregs of society.’” It’s as if [the game is saying] they are subhuman and deserve to die. But that’s not who they are, it’s what they do for a living; stripping is a job, not an identity.

I just think it perpetuates hatred of women, because we all know that women who work as strippers and prostitutes are overwhelmingly victims of violence, not perpetrators of it.

Sociologists have found the number one reason women prostitute themselves is because they’re in poverty and don’t have the resources they need. Stripping and prostituting become a way to survive, and to demonize them for that is profoundly misogynistic. It’s bad enough that they need to do this to survive, but to turn them into the enemy…?

It just looks like violence porn to me, and I’m concerned about the minds of men who would come up with a game like this.

Actually, other than this, women are treated reasonably well in Hitman: Absolution.

As long as they don’t work as prostitutes or strippers.

Most of the strippers I knew were single mothers and college students. Of course, some women might kill for their children.

I’m kind of having trouble understanding why [the Saints] want to kill people. It’s understandable why they might “feel” like killing someone but why are they actually doing it? Are they getting paid? Is it that bad that they need to make money in a down economy? Are they stripping their way through Yale? The competition must be killer.

Also, I don’t understand why they are shooting people. As I learned in Sociology class, there have been many female killers throughout history but the majority of them killed using poison. Some of them used violence, but most of them used poison. I guess that’s not as dramatic.

One last thing: Our protagonist, 47, has multiple costume changes, but the female assassins only wear their festishwear.

You never see male assassins in a thong with dollar bills hanging out.

And now IO Interactive has the new character for their next videogame.














http://www.forbes.co...men-absolution/


#2 ir0nw0lf

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 20:34

You never see male assassins in a thong with dollar bills hanging out. :o
(something about a stripper saying something like that totally made my day)

#3 compl3x

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Posted 20 November 2012 - 20:36

Show us the stripper!

#4 soniqstylz

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 00:11

I think it’s an excuse to show violence against women by making them the initiators of violence. It’s as if the makers of this video game are saying, “Hey, these women asked for it. It’s okay to kill them and beat them up because they’re the ‘dregs of society.’” It’s as if [the game is saying] they are subhuman and deserve to die. But that’s not who they are, it’s what they do for a living; stripping is a job, not an identity.


No, dumb****, these women asked for it because they fired a rocket launcher into his hotel room.

#5 Yusuf M.

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 16:09

It doesn't perpetuate hatred of women. It's a damn video game. People shouldn't take it seriously. Lots of male characters die in video games but you don't see people saying hatred of men this and hatred of men that.

#6 exotoxic

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 16:31

These women are called “the Saints” because they also happen to be Christians.

That doesn’t seem very plausible. I don’t understand why strippers would seriously become assassins, especially if they are Christians. I mean…what kind of Christians are they? Are they Republicans?


Need to read up on history, Christians have done very bad things to a lot of people.

#7 shakey

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 16:33

And this is why I never ask for the opinion of a stripper :p

#8 Colicab

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Posted 21 November 2012 - 17:33

Dumb **** is dumb, move on