So I downloaded Wubi and started installing...
Nice. It completed. Let's have it reboot and expect it to finish the install...
It doesn't boot because it says that Windows is hibernated. Windows 8 hibernates the kernel to speed up startups yet Wubi didn't tell me anything about that. Let's turn the hybrid boot off and expect it to work...
It still doesn't boot with the same reason. Let's go back to windows and turn hibernation off with powercfg -h off.
Again, it doesn't work. Same reason. Let's reboot windows and delete the whole hibernation file and reboot again.
So the install starts. It starts copying stuff around for a while. Let's wait until it continues... it will certainly end.
It hangs at about 75%. After a while the log starts showing warnings that the copy process has freezed. After about 20 minutes I issue a "sudo reboot" command from console, of course it doesn't work and I have to do an hardware reboot. I try a couple more times then give up and download the whole Ubuntu ISO. Then, let's install the latest 64bit from the ISO like the wiki page suggests for Win 8/UEFI users (no, my machine doesn't have UEFI but since Wubi doesn't work the only alternative is the whole Ubuntu disc hoping it doesn't screw up my bootloader)...
It finally installed, so let's open Steam website and download the Steam client. Let's run that nice .deb package and expect it to work.
The package available on the website is 32bit only. Apparently I need to use the Ubuntu software center for that. Let's open it, let's register (what's this damn obsession of having to register for free software?) and install Steam 64bit hoping it works.
The Ubuntu software center crashes with no reasons at all. Let's open it again, maybe it was just bad luck!
It crashes again. Let's try using the command line to install it then. It will certainly work.
Package dependencies cannot be resolved This error could be caused by required additional software packages which are missing or not installable. Furthermore there could be a conflict between software packages which are not allowed to be installed at the same time. The following packages have unmet dependencies: steam64: Depends: steam (= 18.104.22.168ubuntu1) but it is a virtual package
Apparently Valve didn't even make sure Steam for Linux worked with the latest 64bit version of Ubuntu.
Now I'm going to curl up in a corner and cry, my TF2 hat collection will never be the same without that hat. Thanks, Gabe and Mark