Somali Pirates Refuse to Board Cruise Ships

[webeagle12]

MOGADISHU (The Borowitz Report) ? In yet another public relations setback for the beleaguered cruise industry, Somali pirates today said they would no longer board cruise ships, citing ?unsafe working conditions.?

?If the cruise ship industry thinks that it?s going to be business as usual between them and the Somali pirates, they need to have their heads examined,? said Somali pirate spokesman Sugule. ?We Somali pirates may be bold, but we?re not crazy.?

The pirate said that the recent fire that crippled the cruise ship Azamara Quest ?has sent a shiver through the pirate community.?

?We Somali pirates face enough risks without dealing with boats bursting into flames,? he said. ?And don?t get me started on capsizing. If you want to call us rats deserting a sinking ship, so be it.?

When asked if the Somali pirates might attempt to board cruise ships in the future, he responded, ?I am telling me hearties that if they were thinking of pillaging a cruise ship of its booty over Easter Break, they should make alternative plans.?

Carol Foyler, a spokesperson for cruise industry, said that the cruise ship companies ?would be working overtime to win back the pirates? trust.?

In the meantime, Ms. Foyler said, the industry would be unveiling a new slogan in the weeks to come: ?Come for the fun, stay for the raging inferno.?

http://www.borowitzreport.com/2012/04/05/citing-safety-concerns-somali-pirates-refuse-to-board-cruise-ships/

[SiCKX]

Google.

"Private security guards shoot Somali pirates"

It's funny.

[Damien]

LoL!

[encarta]

And this is how you deal with scumbags.

[Glassed Silver]

Damn... Where is the link to the Onion? :laugh:

Glassed Silver:mac

[Intersect]

haha unsafe working conditions for pirates. what ever next, did they expect a welcome matt and a fully catered dinner cart to welcome them on board?

[Glassed Silver]

haha unsafe working conditions for pirates. what ever next, did they expect a welcome matt and a fully catered dinner cart to welcome them on board?

Well I guess a welcome sparkling wine is the least you should offer. :/

Glassed Silver:mac

[Growled Member]

Is today April 1st?

[The Rev]

Is today April 1st?

I know right? :p

Honestly, you know your business is in trouble when criminals avoid it out of principle... :-p