letter Send a letter or not?

[whitebread]

In December (2011), a good friend of mine died :(. He was really, really important to me. The reason that he is important to me is the way we met, and that happened about 2 years ago today.

I got the idea to send his parents a letter telling them about why he was so important to me. In essence, he helped save my life. I think they should know. I think they would want to know.

To make sure I'm not thinking crazy, I asked a few other people (as I have never been in this situation before). One said it was a great idea, another said they don't know, and the third said it could be good but it could also upset them. I don't want to do that!

So, should I send it or not?

[metallithrax]

I suppose it depends on the situation in which he saved your life, and in which he died.

[Edrick Smith]

How did you meet him? Is he a personal friend? Do his parents know you? How did he pass away?

[articuno1au]

I think this is one where you kind of need to tell us the story of how you met and what happened to him.

I'm sure you'll get decent responses from everyone here. Most of the users are good people.

[whitebread]

I met him through Narcotics Anonymous, and he ended up dying of a drug overdose because he relapsed :(

[whitebread]

Is he a personal friend? Do his parents know you? How did he pass away?

Yes, he was a personal friend. No, his parents didn't know me (nor I them).

[articuno1au]

I think you should.

I would draft the letter very carefully and just be aware, for all your good intentions you might cause them some pain, but more likely you will give them some comfort.

Id also preface the letter with a small note explaining why you are writing to them. They are more liekly to draw comfort from it if they understand thats what you are trying to do.

Sorry for the typoes. My tablet doesnt like these forum.

[whitebread]

So can I avoid causing pain?

[derkim]

If you think you feel better if you write you should do it for you self. It's a relief for you. I think his parents would be pleased to know there is somebody else who is mourn.

[+Byt Subscriber¹]

Speaking to them about their Son will cause them pain in remembering him, however it might actually be kind of nice to hear from someone that he has helped alot and someone who respected him.

Just try to word it very carefully.

[techbeck]

Send the letter. It wouldn't upset them. Why people have wakes/visitations to view hte body after someone dies. So people can get together and talk about who died and how much they meant to them. If anything, the parents would feel good to know that they son touched someone and helped them with their life. It may make them sad, but not in a bad way.

Bottom line, it is a good memory/thought the parents should have.

[veternan]

Yes, send the letter but be careful with words; Parents may be upset for reminder of their lost son but naturally will be proud of their son for helping someone that is you.

Last word: God Bless You and Your Friend's Soul; Good heart people are still around.

[Charisma Veteran]

Speaking to them about their Son will cause them pain in remembering him, however it might actually be kind of nice to hear from someone that he has helped alot and someone who respected him.

Just try to word it very carefully.

This. I think they will be glad to hear that someone cared for and respected him--unfortunately, most people probably callously think "oh well, that's what happens when people do drugs" and they are suffering extra for that, on top of the pain of losing a son. Hearing that he made a difference in someone's life and that you respect and have fond memories for him will really be good for them, IMHO.

[whitebread]

Thanks everybody for the replies! I've given it much thought, and I am going to send the letter. (Y)

[Muhammad Farrukh]

Good. I was gonna say the same.

Let us know what you get in reply