30 replies to this topic

[Richteralan]

KSib, on 01 November 2012 - 18:03, said:

No, the fact that you don't understand people's reactions shows how disconnected you are with other people's feelings. How do you NOT understand how someone might not be okay with being married to someone they might not want to be with.

No, the fact that you don't understand people's reactions shows how disconnected you are with other people's feelings. How do you NOT understand how someone might be okay with being married to someone they might want to be with.

Great post and great template!

[javagreen]

KSib, on 01 November 2012 - 18:03, said:

No, the fact that you don't understand people's reactions shows how disconnected you are with other people's feelings. How do you NOT understand how someone might not be okay with being married to someone they might not want to be with.

A forced marriage sure as hell doesn't work for 87 years, and counting.

His did. Your point is moot.

[+simrat]

KSib, on 01 November 2012 - 18:03, said:

No, the fact that you don't understand people's reactions shows how disconnected you are with other people's feelings. How do you NOT understand how someone might not be okay with being married to someone they might not want to be with.

Coming from a guy who have never lived in India, and only saw arrange marriage happening in TV and media. I feel sad for you guys who havent seen something in real life and lump arrange marriage into force marriage category. Over half of my family and relatives had arrange marriage, and i have yet to see a single forced or unhappy couple. But whatever makes you happy, live in your ignorant bubble. Not everyone fall in love before marriage.

[SPEhosting]

javagreen, on 01 November 2012 - 18:07, said:

Huh?

Marriage is marriage, arranged or otherwise. You marry to be together with someone. Sure, you may not appreciate the idea of an arranged marriage, but that doesn't mean there's anything inherently wrong with it.

Your comment makes no sense.

my post makes perfect sense I didn't say there was anything wrong with it ... just saying that I don't find it that interesting because it was most likely arranged and divorce was a massive no... so the only thing here is that they managed to out live alot of people... I was simply giving my opinion in regards to what you said

simrat, on 01 November 2012 - 18:26, said:

Coming from a guy who have never lived in India, and only saw arrange marriage happening in TV and media. I feel sad for you guys who havent seen something in real life and lump arrange marriage into force marriage category. Over half of my family and relatives had arrange marriage, and i have yet to see a single forced or unhappy couple. But whatever makes you happy, live in your ignorant bubble. Not everyone fall in love before marriage.

so you are implying that not one arrange marriage is forced? ... I have tons of friends from Bangladesh(yes i know you said india) one who is I am very close to, and I know that the marriages are forced especially on the women, if they marry a white man or go against the families wishes of whom they marry they are shunned from the family... I may not be from side of the world but I still have close ties to those who are..

[SPEhosting]

Richteralan, on 01 November 2012 - 18:05, said:

Right...something you don't know must be wrong...

pot calling the kettle black at the moment, you ASSUME i don't know anything about arranged marriages or how it effects people

marty999, on 01 November 2012 - 18:05, said:

I didn't see anywhere the mention of an arranged marriage - not saying that it wasn't, but it didn't say -, so why jump to conclusions.

And my wife and I will be married 42 years next May

does anyone read anything? I was responding to a post that was responding to a post someone view him as a "pedo" and someone else mentioned a set up I was simply giving my opinion on that side of things ...

and well done on the 42 years

[AsherGZ]

SPEhosting, on 01 November 2012 - 19:45, said:

so you are implying that not one arrange marriage is forced? ... I have tons of friends from Bangladesh(yes i know you said india) one who is I am very close to, and I know that the marriages are forced especially on the women, if they marry a white man or go against the families wishes of whom they marry they are shunned from the family... I may not be from side of the world but I still have close ties to those who are..

So based on the claims of this one friend, you've concluded that all women here are forced to marry the guy their parents choose for them? Well I have lots of friends from the States and they've got some great tales to tell about rape, incest, drug abuse and whatnot happening to them or someone they know. So let's just not go there.

Sure it may have happened back in the day, maybe still among the uneducated class but we're not unevolved savages like most of the western world thinks. Being from 'that side of the world', I can assure you it's nothing like that and girls have complete right to marry whoever they like. Just last year, two of my classmates got married. They started seeing each other and once they decided they wanted to get married, they went to their parents who met each others family and sealed the deal. Also, unlike the west, our women have the right to divorce. But again divorces hardly happen because matches are not made by kids for whom falling in and out of love and leaving as soon as it gets tough is as common as drinking coffee. Parents here are extremely protective of their daughters. They won't give them away to someone who they don't think would make her happy. And forcing her to spend her life with someone is the last thing they'll do.

[SPEhosting]

gzAsher, on 01 November 2012 - 20:42, said:

So based on the claims of this one friend,

learn to read...... I am not even going to humor the rest of your post but the block of text you put suggest you are trying to defend your culture or what ever but I dont care... I really dont I was simply pointing out that it happens not that it always does...

[Richteralan]

SPEhosting, on 01 November 2012 - 19:52, said:

pot calling the kettle black at the moment, you ASSUME i don't know anything about arranged marriages or how it effects people

Right, you also ASSUME I don't know anything about it. I wasn't defending arranged marriage in any way. But your blanket statement is....hyperbolic.

[King Mustard]

"...from Punjab, India and now live in Bradford..."

Shocker

[Growled]

Ah, how sweet. Good for them.

[Hum]

Leave to Neowin people to dig up the negative side.

[SPEhosting]

Richteralan, on 02 November 2012 - 00:12, said:

Right, you also ASSUME I don't know anything about it. I wasn't defending arranged marriage in any way. But your blanket statement is....hyperbolic.

you are just... special... you are now assuming I assumed .... which i didnt... im going to go speak to my shoe... I want to up the conversation level ...

[+simrat]

SPEhosting, on 01 November 2012 - 19:45, said:

so you are implying that not one arrange marriage is forced? ... I have tons of friends from Bangladesh(yes i know you said india) one who is I am very close to, and I know that the marriages are forced especially on the women, if they marry a white man or go against the families wishes of whom they marry they are shunned from the family... I may not be from side of the world but I still have close ties to those who are..

I never said all arrange marriages are perfect, just like love marriages. First of all there is Bangladesh =/= India. Different culture, religion and people. Secondly forced arrange marriages only happen in really backward villages of India, and even not all of them are forced. Educated person wont force his/her children to do arrange marriage. You have seen 1 to few cases, i live here and see arrange marriages happen everyday, and again, i have yet to see a forced or unhappy couple.

Arrange marriage is alien to your culture, thats why Western people have hard time accepting it. Calling arrange marriage forced is like calling all muslims terrorists, there are 1-2 nuts, but they dont represent whole thing.

[Richteralan]

SPEhosting, on 02 November 2012 - 14:08, said:

you are just... special... you are now assuming I assumed .... which i didnt... im going to go speak to my shoe... I want to up the conversation level ...

Certainly.
Because the conversation level is definitely up when you react negatively of this lovely couple together for 87 years...

[Growled]

Hum, on 02 November 2012 - 01:43, said:

Leave to Neowin people to dig up the negative side.

We are special like that. Sigh.