primexx Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 * RIAA to Parents: Pay When They're Toddlers and Save theBother Later The RIAA today sent a "settlement letter" to all parents of children under 3 years old offering a toddler settlement rate for online copyright infringement if they simply send payment to major record labels before their children learn to read. "Our goal is to make this easier for parents," said RIAA President Cary Sherman. "Everyone knows that in this era of increasing hard drive capacity and new digital media technologies, it is inevitable that every child in America will infringe copyright sooner or later. With our 'toddler settlement' rate, parents can avoid those pesky lawsuits. Consider it a way to invest your child's future." The toddler settlement requires parents to log everything their child ever does online and to make those logs available to the RIAA at regular intervals. "It can just become a part of every birthday celebration," added RIAA's counsel at Holme, Roberts and Owen. "Blow out the candles and send your Internet logs to Uncle RIAA!" For this post: <http://www.eff.org/cgi/tiny?urlID=556> * American Travelers' "Risk Assessment" Score to Be Based onGoogle PageRank According to a joint announcement by the Department of Homeland Security and search engine giant Google, Inc., today, all citizens of the United States traveling across borders will be given a risk rating, to be based on the overall position of their homepage when Transportation Security Administration (TSA) representatives type the name into the popular search engine. "Until now, we've been using an unduly complex metric to deduce which innocent citizen will suddenly become 'interesting' to our agents during routine inspections," said a TSA spokesperson. "Finally we thought, why not just find out who everyone else thinks is 'interesting' instead?" "You know, like, crowdsource it?" added a Google spokesperson from a nearby office hammock. The RankInSecurity rating will take values generated by Google's patent algorithm and TSA's own unique data mining methods to determine whether the traveler will pass through security checkpoints unhindered, be obliged to "volunteer" for further screening, or simply sent back home until their online popularity improves. When asked about the risks of scores being distorted by so- called "Googlebombing," the TSA spokesman visibly blanched, screamed for backup, and threw the questioner onto the floor. Further calls to the TSA were not answered by press time. For this post: <http://www.eff.org/cgi/tiny?urlID=556> If anyone wants more there's more stories from the same newsletter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RaisinCain Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Anyone getting busted for downloading music is an idiot. There are plenty of ways to get "free" music without getting into trouble. :ninja: I sure hope this is a April Fool's prank. lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
leesmithg Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 This is a lame joke, the RIAA cannot stoop that low, or can they? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
primexx Posted April 1, 2007 Author Share Posted April 1, 2007 I suspected it was an april fools joke to begin with, then after I started reading I was like "That seems like something they would actually do..." Then I clicked on the link... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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