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18 Totally New Yo Momma Jokes: January 2012

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#1 americab

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:30

1. Your Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.


2. Your Momma is so fat, mountain lions sleep on her titties


3. Your Momma smells. She smells so much they use her to wake people out of comas.


4. Your mother is enormous. As a safety precaution they pay her to live next to the Hoover Dam.


5. Yo Momma is so fat, her pacemaker comes with a solar panel.


6. Your Mother is so fat, her water heater needs a nuclear reactor.


7. Your mothers pant size is xxx. When she walks down the street people try to walk into her ass to watch movies.


8. You ever hear of No Child Left Behind? Your mother is so dumb they had to give up on her.


9. Your mother is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.


10. Your mother is titanic. Anytime she goes into water she sinks.


11. Your mother is so fat, she sells her toenails as body armor.


12. Your mother is so fat, I have to use sonar to talk to her.


13. Your mother is so fat even blind people can see her


14. Your mother is filthy. She goes to the sperm bank to clean out her mouth.


15. Scientists watch your mother very closely. They have no choice! Your mother is so fat she can be seen from anywhere on earth.


16. I've never seen a pig like your mother. Or any other type of animal for that matter.


17. Your mother is ugly. She once wore a Target shirt and people started shooting at her.


18. Your mothers face is like a bag of Skittles. Sweet,colorful and causes diabetes.



I decided to make some entirely new jokes. If you find them funny feedback would be awesome. That way I can know if I should try to write some more.

Edited by John S., 20 January 2012 - 19:02. Reason: link snipped, jokes added--Neowin isn't the place to spam other sites



#2 +warwagon

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:34

The best one in that list was "Yo Momma is so fat, her pacemaker comes with a solar panel."

#3 OP americab

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:37

Glad you found it funny. I'm thinking about writing a bunch of them.

#4 +warwagon

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:38

Glad you found it funny. I'm thinking about writing a bunch of them.


Oh you wrote them? In that case... meh! 95% weren't funny. You successfully pulled a warwagon. Good Job!

#5 OP americab

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:42

What does the phrase "pulling a warwagon" mean? What's funny is that you decided to make your response harsh after I told you I wrote them. lol.

#6 ToeNipples

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:42

The two funny ones were:

Yo Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.

and

Yo Momma is so filthy she goes to the sperm bank to clean out her mouth.



#7 +warwagon

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:43

What does the phrase "pulling a warwagon" mean? What's funny is that you decided to make your response harsh after I told you I wrote them. lol.


you'll find out what pulling a Warwagon means soon enough on this forum! :laugh:

#8 OP americab

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 04:43

Your mother and bubble wrap have a lot in common. Everyone likes to pop them.



#9 BeerFan

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:26

you'll find out what pulling a Warwagon means soon enough on this forum! :laugh:


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#10 Nick H.

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:48

Yo mama so slow, she thought "yo mama" jokes were still funny.

#11 FMH

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:54

:o Woah! I'm really impressed that you made them yourself. That's some really high-quality work there.

And my favourite was the Google Earth one. :laugh:

#12 Muhammad Farrukh

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 12:55

Some are funny, to some extent

#13 InsaneNutter

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 13:07

Also my fav two! keep up the good work i enjoyed a fair few of them :)

The two funny ones were:

Yo Momma is so fat, she takes her picture with Google Earth.

and

Yo Momma is so filthy she goes to the sperm bank to clean out her mouth.



#14 XerXis

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 13:23

meh, not my kind of humor I guess

#15 vetAndrew Lyle

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Posted 20 January 2012 - 15:21

Maybe next well get a new list of chuck Norris facts.