DEVICE NOT READY
Wallet is unable to proceed until this device is fully initialized. Make sure the phone has network access and try rebooting if the problem persists.
I looked it up and I found this:
Please tell me I'm not forked? Is there a work around? Will my warranty give me a new device? Does this mean Google Wallet is bricked totally on my Google account too (I can't use it on another device)?
Geeze, Google. I understand it's partially my fault for being ignorant of the issue, but bricking my device? Really?