Buy an Engagement Ring with a Joint account

[ccoltmanm]

I've been with my girlfriend just shy of 10 years (new years day). Obviously marriage or at least a proposal is just around the corner. Anyways, we moved in together, and in addition to my checking and savings accounts, we opened a joint account. This is primarily for the house and food, etc.

Anyways, we have been tinkering with the idea of buying her engagement ring using the joint account funds. I'm not quite sure if she is 100% serious, and i'm not 100% sure i feel ethically okay with it.

I'm just looking for some different points of view from you guys. What do you think?

[shakey]

I've been with my girlfriend just shy of 10 years (new years day). Obviously marriage or at least a proposal is just around the corner. Anyways, we moved in together, and in addition to my checking and savings accounts, we opened a joint account. This is primarily for the house and food, etc.

Anyways, we have been tinkering with the idea of buying her engagement ring using the joint account funds. I'm not quite sure if she is 100% serious, and i'm not 100% sure i feel ethically okay with it.

I'm just looking for some different points of view from you guys. What do you think?

Why are you making her pay anything towards the ring? :p It should be all from your own account.

[Charisma Veteran]

Errr, I think you should make that particular purchase from your own account. Maybe I'm a bit old-fashioned, but I'd feel kind of weird going halfsies on that. Not exactly romantic :laugh:

Just my two cents, of course.

[Intersect]

it would be a realy tacky move imo if you use the joint account, it would be so much better if you used your own

money :)

[Glassed Silver]

LOL... Are you serious? No offense, but I find this question too easily answerable.

Pay it your own 100%. ;)

Glassed Silver:mac

[Rudy]

Me and my wife were together for almost 11 years before we got married. Long before that time did we start having "our" money and not our separate money. I personally think that separating the money is silly at that point. We still have our own chequing accounts but we keep them at the minimum required so we don't pay fees for transactions and the rest goes towards bills/mortgage and the left overs to our joint savings

[linsook]

She's probably serious and there is nothing wrong with that. Your money is her money and her money is your money.

Me and my wife were together for almost 11 years before we got married. Long before that time did we start having "our" money and not our separate money. I personally think that separating the money is silly at that point. We still have our own chequing accounts but we keep them at the minimum required so we don't pay fees for transactions and the rest goes towards bills/mortgage and the left overs to our joint savings

Exactly.

I haven't gotten married yet myself however my financial situation is very tightly tied with my girlfriend. We have several joint accounts and many things under both names; the house, the car etc... We don't look at assets separately but as joint a concern, obviously liabilities are the same. I do intend to marry one day but the cost of it will be paid for with our money, obviously.

How to propose, be it a surprise or otherwise, is another concern. One that is very tricky. I think women like to be able to be apart of that diamond hunting process and be able to have some input on what they will be wearing on their finger forever but at the same time they want to be surprised with a proposal too... its tough. I haven't figured that out yet.

[HawkMan]

If she's ok with it, why not. The whole guy paying for everything is a bit old fashioned, especially when you're both in on the engagement and not just you surprise asking.

If you want to sure, it consider what she wants to, she may not want youth pay it all. And besides you're a couple, evening you pay it 100% from your account, you're still effectively both paying for it.

[Rudy]

If she's ok with it, why not. The whole guy paying for everything is a bit old fashioned, especially when you're both in on the engagement and not just you surprise asking.

+1

[firey]

Being together that long, I think she is serious.. however I am with a few others.. I think you should pay the 100% of the engagement ring. That way she can't start a fight saying she had to buy her own ring ;)

[Shaun N.]

Me and my wife had a joint account from the beginning to make bill paying easier as no matter who had what money the bills still needed to be paid. 11 years later I regret this somewhat as I have no money to myself ever. She is in control of the finances and if I need anything I ask her for it or for funds so I can get it. I can never buy her anything without her knowing.

I also bought her engagement ring out of "our funds" - I also paid for the wedding and the deposit on our house out of "our funds"

[Rudy]

Me and my wife had a joint account from the beginning to make bill paying easier as no matter who had what money the bills still needed to be paid. 11 years later I regret this somewhat as I have no money to myself ever. She is in control of the finances and if I need anything I ask her for it or for funds so I can get it. I can never buy her anything without her knowing.

I also bought her engagement ring out of "our funds" - I also paid for the wedding and the deposit on our house out of "our funds"

It's a joint account, you're free to use that money just as she is. The problem isn't that you have a joint account but that you need to grow a pair and stop letting her control you like that

[shakey]

Being together that long, I think she is serious.. however I am with a few others.. I think you should pay the 100% of the engagement ring. That way she can't start a fight saying she had to buy her own ring ;)

This. If she pays anything for the ring, you will NEVER live it down. Any time something irks her, and you will hear, " Good thing I bought this ring.... " :p

[Hell-In-A-Handbasket]

10 years joint checking, living together, why bother with the ring at all

[shakey]

10 years joint checking, living together, why bother with the ring at all

lol, well, if he really wants to be in the dog house.....

[Kreuger]

Use all of her monies!

[Shaun N.]

It's a joint account, you're free to use that money just as she is. The problem isn't that you have a joint account but that you need to grow a pair and stop letting her control you like that

It's more to make sure the money is there to cover it,

[Nihilus]

There is no question, if you have access to her account then use that instead.

Joint account is for you to plunder for call of duty extras and late night dominoes orders, obviously.

[nominak]

lol, well, if he really wants to be in the dog house.....

I'd think he's half way there waiting 10+ years lol

[mokthraka]

If she's ok with it, why not. The whole guy paying for everything is a bit old fashioned, especially when you're both in on the engagement and not just you surprise asking.

the whole concept of buying a ****ing ring is old fashinoed... i

[Glassed Silver]

the whole concept of buying a ****ing ring is old fashinoed... i

old fashioned != wrong

I'm sure you're doing lots of old fashioned things yourself.

Change for the sake of change?

It works without flowers, so why bother?

...

I don't mean to offend you, so read my words lightly and don't take the personal, but really: nothing's bad about being romantic.

You may disagree, but there are enough people who like it and don't embrace it for the sake of tradition, but because they agree with them, the tradition being no factor, but a state of what they like, not a denominator if you will.

SO many things are old fashioned, remember this. (Y)

Glassed Silver:mac

[excalpius]

The two of you should buy all three of your rings from your joint account.

[Japlabot]

Well no matter how you look at it, if you are going to spend X on a ring, there is going to be an X shortfall whether from your account or the joint account, if you use your own account, X amount of income is going to be withheld from the joint account so that it can go into your own account. I don't know how closely she looks at the accounts but if she keeps an eye on it she is either going to notice a chunk of change missing from the account or that not as much is going in.

My suggestion would be to surprise her by making a personal loan from a close family member such as your parents who know that you will pay them back 100% right after you propose and will lend it to you interest free on that basis. Then you can turn your unsuspecting girlfriend into your unsuspecting fianc?e. They pay back the money since the surprise is over.

I recently proposed to my girlfriend of 9 years and I thought that was a long time. I gave her a cheap "commitment" ring at the time that I surprised her, and then we went to the Jeweller to design a ring together 'cause I couldn't work out what she would like without giving away the surprise that I was actually going through with it (after 9 years she wasn't taking the light talk of marriage/engagement seriously)

[moloko]

I bet she wants a big ass ring too. HA. my wife only wanted a tiny diamond. GOOD.

Just use the joint account since you been together so long. Its just one account now. Unless you been hiding some cash on the side account.

FYI diamond rings have horrible resale value. No matter what the jeweler tells you. Go back a year later and see if they will buy it back. Or go to a pawn shop. That 2000$ ring is now worth 250$ cash to you.

[Sir Topham Hatt]

If she's ok with it, why not. The whole guy paying for everything is a bit old fashioned.

I sort of agree. It depends on the girl.

My girlfriend is at Uni. Although she has a job, that pays for her petrol and car. She occasionally pays for a takeaway. When we go out, she will insist on paying for some things because she feels bad I pay for everything. I can support us both on my salary. For instance on a week off from work this is how it panned out:

Trip to the Zoo - She paid, I drove.

Cinema - I paid for taxi, tickets. She paid for drinks.

Meal at Restaurant - I paid.

Trip to Aquarium - She paid, I drove.

The way we roll is that we don't count who pays for what. Although I bought her car for her and paid for her insurance, when we move in together she will be spending a few thousand pounds buying extra furniture we need.

If she suggested it, perhaps tell her you are okay to buy it from your own account. But if she insists then you may as well go half's on it. Perhaps suggest on buying the wedding ring yourself though. Then at least the one she will wear for the majority of her life will be the one you bought her as a gift. I will probably do this with my partner.

Me and my wife had a joint account from the beginning to make bill paying easier as no matter who had what money the bills still needed to be paid. 11 years later I regret this somewhat as I have no money to myself ever.

Then you need to get a new wife my friend :p

Although I don't have a joint account as yet, our wages will both go into our own accounts. Then a direct debit will transfer 3/4 or so into the joint account where wills and such will be paid from. This will leave me with some money for buying gifts and such.

I don't mean to offend you, so read my words lightly and don't take the personal, but really: nothing's bad about being romantic.

No, that guy should be offended and take it personally.

Being romantic is nice. So long as you don't make it cheesy. I love romancing my girlfriend, her reactions show me more love than most guys will ever feel.