Bad relationship issues

[shamilbear]

Just saw this on MacRumors, and it's horrible.

Hey,

Need some advice?

I recently split up with my boyfriend of 1 year and I?m feeling really guilty about it.

Most of the reason I?m feeling guilty is because I dumped him for someone else. I absolutely fancy the pants off of this new guy and I think it?s the fact that I forgot about my ex so quickly because of him that I?m feeling so guilty. I just feel really sorry for my ex. But let me start at the beginning.

My ex was so cute and a total sweetheart. He was a true gentleman and never had a bad word to say to me. I could get away with quite a lot (and this is how the problems started I think) because he loved me so much. He had a decent paying job and would always buy me lots of things we girls love such as clothes, shoes, spa days, romantic meals, jewellery and the odd surprise here and there.

A couple of months ago it was my birthday and I had a night out arranged. All of my friends from Uni and a couple of friends from home (there was A LOT of us) went into town and obviously my ex came along as well. My ex doesn?t have many friends really and they were all busy this night so in a sense he came out with us alone. The days before he splashed out for me to get a spray tan, my nails done, my hair done and he also got me a really short sexy dress and a pair of skyscraper heels (I think these alone were around ?300 ). Needless to say he got me some sexy underwear just to complete the package. He was so nice.

Anyway on the night out all of my mates were complimenting me ALL night on how beautiful I looked. I felt a little awkward at first, I?m already about 2-3 inches taller than my boyfriend but in these heels I absolutely TOWERED over him, and he was saying ?oh I haven?t thought this through very well? haha! I kept leaning on his shoulder and patting him on top of the head to tease him . This is where it started I think. During the night out I was getting so much attention from men coming up to me or just staring at me that he was getting a little jealous and anxious.

I really loved him and I didn?t for one minute think that he would feel insecure over it all. He was never the insecure type but this night he was starting to be all narky and sarcastic with me and making out like I was loving the male attention. Well I was a bit but I wasn?t planning on acting on it or anything. It got to about 1 o clock and he was pestering me to come home because he was getting bored but I was having so much fun with my friends that I didn?t want to. It was my night and he was ruining it, and he was supposed to be my boyfriend.

A little later on I was in the smoking area with one of my friends and this absolutely gorgeous guy come up to me and started talking and flirting with me. He was like 6ft 4 so a lot taller than me even in my skyscraper heels, totally RIPPED, gorgeous face and smile and he was dressed so stylishly. He was just amazing. Obviously I was taken but I couldn?t help but flirt with him because he was so cheeky , teased me and was somehow charming at the same time. I had a great time with him and I noticed how flirty I was getting because I was playing with and tossing my hair around and touching his arm and I come over really giggly. He asked me to dance so I did, and believe me he could DANCE. After a few minutes I ended up grinding on him but at this point my boyfriend found me again and just came up to me and said ?I?m going? with the most disgusted and angry look on his face. I didn?t go after him right away, I just danced with the guy for a bit and he ended up giving me his number. It felt good but I wasn?t planning on doing anything.

Over the next couple of days I managed to calm my boyfriend down and made a lot of excuses for why I was dancing with this guy. He was still really put out about it and he kept asking questions about the guy and who he was and how did I know him etc. I got really angry eventually because he wouldn?t shut up about it and then he ended up buying me more clothes just to say sorry. I accepted the clothes but I was still ****ed at him.

I guess I knew it was over at this point but stupidly I didn?t officially end it with my ex. I rang the nightclub guy and we went on a couple of dates while my ex was on nights (guilt is swelling as I write this :?() and after like the third date he took me back to his house. He had a nice house, a nice BMW and everything he owned was kept all nice, neat and tidy. It was perfect. I just couldn?t keep my hands off of him and couldn?t stop kissing him.

Needless to say he undressed me slowly and led me to his bedroom while I still had my heels and knickers on (he?s too tall haha ) and DEAR GOD he was AMAZING in bed. He was so good at pleasuring me. He was passionate and kissed every inch of my body, all the way down even to my feet! He was amazing with his fingers and brought me to orgasm with his tongue. I orgasmed even before he got inside of me, he was so considerate and wanting to please me I was on cloud nine!

We had many wild nights like this. The sex was just amazing. He would whisper things in my ear, he knew when to be dominant and he knew when to be gentle. Honestly ladies my body would just shake when he made love to me and I just couldn?t help but scream and shout his name. The problem is I brought him back to our house (risky I know) one time because it was convenient and my ex caught us because he got a flyer from work. Basically my ex heard me screaming in pleasure and shouting this guys name at the top of my lungs and he I?m guessing he planned on bursting in on us and making an angry scene but when he opened the door (this was a horrible moment) he just broke down at the sight of us in the most intimate sex position I?ve experienced. My boyfriend ran of f without saying a word.

My ex never pleasured me like this and with him the sex was probably less than average. It must have been horrible for him and I feel so guilty. But this next part is worse. We heard the door slam and the nightclub guy just looked at me smirked and started running his hands over me and continued as if nothing happened. This made me so hot for him you WOULD NOT believe and I had an absolute EARTH SHATTERING orgasm afterwards.

I won?t go into more detail but let?s just say my ex has called me every name under the sun since and keeps texting me, phoning me and sending me messages from his Facebook and other people?s Facebook. I ended it with him after we got caught, needless to say.

Should I be feeling this guilty? I mean I?ve hurt him this deeply but is it ok for me to move on and enjoy my relationship with my new man.

Please help I feel so, so bad.

Sorry it?s so long.

[zeta_immersion]

this crap cannot be real ... if it is should egg heads care? ... geeks assemble there is talk of orgasm ...

Ready! Set ! ... damn it dudes, done already!!!!!!!!

[articuno1au]

Wouldn't be the first time its happened.

I really feel for the poor guy :\

Should we care? Only by way of warning >.< Or if we meet the poor ****** :\

[freak180]

She needs to end herself... we dont need selfish people like that in this world..

[Tom]

By the sounds of it she's incredibly materialistic, I feel sorry for the guy that he didn't figure it out earlier.

[Boo Berry]

If this is real, she's one shallow, hurtful b**ch. I hope the guilt consumes her!

[Japlabot]

Use all of her boyfriends gifts to cheat on him. Stay Classy.

[Japlabot]

Original thread: http://www.femalefirst.co.uk/board/viewtopic.php?f=24&p=4347668

Some of the replies are abhorrent

eg: "You have hot sexy guy with fantastic chemistry. Life sounds perfect ! You need to forget about that guilt stuff and get on with enjoying life. You have already dumped your old shortarse boyfriend, he will move on. Life is too short for regrets."

I suspect that it is the ex-boyfriend writing from cheating girlfriend's perspective. If so, good troll.

[what]

So she's a bitch. What's new? Happens all the time. At least now he knows what she's really like.

I won?t go into more detail but let?s just say my ex has called me every name under the sun since and keeps texting me, phoning me and sending me messages from his Facebook and other people?s Facebook

He needs to stop all that though. He doesn't need to lower himself to her level.

Though, all signs point to a probable troll.

[mattmatik]

Why type paragraphs full of details? Either its fake or this person demands attention. And sure, she can feel guilty for the nightclub scene or even one time sleeping with the guy but night after night, even back at the ex's place? Please.

[Mystic Mungis]

If that is real and not just some troll wanting attention then she is really messed up, sad thing is I know/know of a lot of girls in real life who are like that. Really pi***s me off when girls say "Guys are such ######, they always treat girls like crap."

[+John Teacake MVC]

That woman is awful! Although the guy sounds like a proper weed. She did that then he was upset with her, All of a sudden she is upset with him and he is buying her loads of expensive gifts hmmmm! Alpha Male FTW. However the girl is the worst person in the world most likely with serious daddy issues!

[Chicane-UK Veteran]

It sounds like he (the ex) was besotted with her, spoiled her, and she didn't give a crap and went on to the next best thing. She sounds dreadful frankly.

The ex needs to just drop her as soon as possible and move on. She obviously doesn't give two hoots about how she's crushed his emotions so he needs to give his time and devotion to someone else.

If a guy had done this to a woman, the woman would have been deluged by supportive messages from all her girlfriends about how much of a ****** the guy was and that she was too good for him. The double standards make me howl with laughter sometimes!

[Knife Party]

haha, yes this is a bad thing....buut, it goes both ways. You're a guy, your gf pampers you, youz be in da club, now u's be getting a lot of attention, a hot women dances with you, ask for your phone and types in her number. Boom, the idea is planted, and you've realised the familiarity of the situation. What's next? urgh, my gf is mad, and for some reason runs off, leaves me to be targeted by these hot ladiez. :) Uur, mistake.

she's just another chick out there, she sounds easily impressed, and extremely prone to the right angle of flattery/ attention to aspects of her personality, he's obviously using his charm to exploit her complex about issues which she percieves about herself. Bang, you got an easy target. Anyways, her bf was stupid. He sounds like a moron who isn't able to figure out things for himself. So, he pampers her to hell, avoids talking about issues by buying her more stuff....my point? She sees him as soft, weak, easy to manipulate doll, she points, he leaps. He obviously still has to learn the concept of self respect, you can only do a thing so many times before you ask yourself or conceptualise how you and the other entity fit together, what you get out of the deal and the other person.

Also, he kits her out to be practically an escort when they go to the club. Mistake. He enters a domain that he is not proficient in. He dances poorly, he looks weak/easily intimidated/ he is a poodle around his gf, guys in the club pick this up, they check him out to see how much of a threat he posed/ how much can they play their hand at this gf. His gf obviously will get more attention then, he does little to be the centre point of her attention, also he is subordinated through his relationship with her; her perception of him influences how her friends react, comply and perceive him. Boom, not a good stance. Then he runs off like a little girl, he leaves his woman amongst a pack of drunk dawgs / :D Mistake again.

This boy clearly needs to be schooled how to keep up with a woman. Also, when a woman says you are below average at sex, damn, he's got it hard in life! Better get cracking the books / rejection attempts man, the learning curve is steep :D

[Osiris]

The details seem troll like but this behaviour happens, maybe she has issues, maybe shes young and just up for fun, maybe the original bf let her walk all over him, could be a million things but clearly he will be better off without her and im sure she will prob have more fun without him etc.

[peacemf]

its her life, her choices to make

as for the guy move on and find somebody better.

not everybody in the world is nice

[Xilo]

Would have been cheaper for him to just pay for hookers.

[Nick H. Supervisor]

TL;DR - Girls can be just as bad as guys.

The horrible part though is with the replies (which I can't see at the moment, but I think I've seen this before) reassuring her that her behaviour was acceptable. She admits that she was cheating on him, and people think that's ok? If he had cheated on her and she had told the forum, the replies would probably say, "that guy is such a jerk, you don't need him." Flip the tables though and it's fine, apparently.

[shamilbear]

TL;DR - Girls can be just as bad as guys.

The horrible part though is with the replies (which I can't see at the moment, but I think I've seen this before) reassuring her that her behaviour was acceptable. She admits that she was cheating on him, and people think that's ok? If he had cheated on her and she had told the forum, the replies would probably say, "that guy is such a jerk, you don't need him." Flip the tables though and it's fine, apparently.

I don't understand it either.

[xpablo]

Nice guys finish last, thing is Mr Tall & Ripped has probably dumped her by now and moved onto his next Sheila, too pleasure.

Mr. Ex was foolish to spoil his girl like that, I did something similar was too nice and she eventually ran off with Romeo from her work, I didn't know that she cheated on me

until a few months after when I moved out and way under the bed, was a bunch of opened condom packs, no condoms. Anyhow I was already over her lesson learned.

About 18 yrs had past and I had never seen her again since she ran off with Romeo, but facebook found us through a mutual "friend", she eventually married Romeo and is still married to him.

I ended up marrying my next girlfriend.

I have a friend who got married about 5 yrs ago, he too spoiled his wife bought her everything including a car, she had a supplementary credit card on his account, she would go on shopping sprees and\he would pay the cc bill

no problem, then she started spending more time with her friends, my friend thought nothing of it at first, then one day while he was at the store he ran into a friend of one his wife's friends, she said her husband had dumped her about 6 weeks ago, because he's in love with my friends wife and the his wife and her hubby have been hanging out quite a bit, after continual denial my friend decided to investigate and sure enough the dumped wife was right, so my friend later found out his wife has been having an affair with the guy and eventually she left him, she took the car and her clothes.

Bottom Line and Moral of this story is don't spoil your wife or girlfriend without getting something in return and that something in return should not be just sex or a basic relationship, if your gonna live like that, then hire a prostitute, at least there's no emotional commitment.

[MLIFE]

You read it at http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=2018275 ?

I'm sure what she has done was rotten, but it doesn't excuse his verbal attacks either.