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Today, we ate pizza with red wine and squirrels when, oversized elephants wearing pink racing condoms busted and then my rectum talked loudly, everyone thought that I would burst out in flames but I didn?t stink that much except when the dog took a huge crap on my pink tutu inside the imac cdrom dildo 2001 competition featuring elephants alongside squirrels armed with torpedoes aimed directly over Bill my pot-belly pig and pushed my cancerous clock into a hat filled with Horse sh*t and turnips that always gets eaten with strawberry yoghurt pots, except when sleeping hairy feet covered with gravy stains and stuck to burning ashes among giggling daisies flying towards my throbbing member of parliament called that. That said who licks p***y shall upside himself into pulsating his excessively large hole-punch through his mothers goat brother and vomits on his pet d**k.

Meanwhile the renovations being when friends explode. Tuesday evening my sister started smacking purple Cambodians with dead chickens and tuna fish paste which had hazelnuts squeezed into vibrating drums. The chickens only masturbated in line before being vomited on. We all ate Phongs that smelled of old sweaty ****roaches wrapped with pastry, shortcrust and evil fellow squirrels. Why did the GDI attack Lesbians-R-Us? Because they had illegal donuts covered with warez-cds labeled... "Windows XP Professional.?So Lezbianz-R-Us, sold them all to Apple-Corp, but it didn?t work because 128 necrophiliacs came and chewed flaming maggots and Jelly babies.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, (the) Tonto, disguised as a door, disposed (something?) into buckets filled with strawberry turkey stew. George-Dubbya hired professionally trained monkeys to dig through the rooftops with plastic ######! ....Well, after the shambler screwed the necrophiliac against Intel's Pentium 9000 GHz cow flavored shotguns. Microsoft said "Chickens MUST cross activation before 20 years of good dedication. Sexy Jemima, the squirrel, dances with wolves that won?t bite Mr. [insert your name here]. Is the cheese fat? Yes. But what? It was designed to make Linux RedHat chocolate gummy bears scrumptious! So the slimy PCI Slots thought about going fisting donkeys..... REBOOT... LOADING WINDOWS XP... *STOP* ...

Suddenly, Grandpa Joe noticed sumthin weird inside computer monthly, his mother suddenly made love with page 62 and page 63. Sex0red the 9 inch long penis extension under the hummer started to procrastinate over the thought of smelling like rotting c**chie and (you're an odd bunch...) looking like a hemorrhoid covered baboons ass which tastes like pudding with tomatoes and carrots. At this time Penelope was having an ice cream steak that tastes like Captain Phatty.

Meanwhile the squirrel was talking hornyly to my favorite microwave (who!), sang about blowup hamburgers. Then out of nowhere some aliens from Mars took his moustache long and white and burnt it. This cheesed off Mister Micro$oft Man because Gill Bates urinated for years on OIGNYBOINGY!

Sightings of Bin-Laden being F**ked by sum x-rayed cows huffin glue showed up on Jeopardy do'n the nasty with a nuclear missile. Suddenly Strom Thurmond yelled "Pigeons don't dress wolves unless you take off their nerfherders and suspenders"

500 Miles away Jack was having sex with a moose!

Underage teens need porn stardom with School Football Players'S assistance. This results in teenage suicide escalations that result in a total catastrophe! And reduction in "male testosterone levels"

Today's weather expect 99% chance of a XP warez thunderstorm in Bill Gates' country that will result in a conspiracy involving stripers with amazingly interesting boobs. Meanwhile your mom drank waaaaaay too much alcoholic beverages and the moose was not imprisoned by monks who had anal pudding. The monkeys began typing "President Bush had little underpants filled with itching polar bear manure that steamed at perpendicular triangulation in relation to his body." Then, suddenly the Neowinians ejaculated lots of pink cotton-candy DNA with chips.

Meanwhile... Mc Donald's was attacked by robots wielding Palm m500's. Eeeek said the spider, smoking another blunt cigar. Then elephants raised their hoofs because in Jamaica the fear of squirrels have terrified their brains and eaten beans all day long!

BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH:

Reboot

Loading Windows XP Professional

Please wait...

Damn that's good!

Therefore, plasma screen TV rules all. Bill Gates what the fudge? Penguins playing trumpets with their butts. This is revolting, but he went pee on boo and spontaneously combusted.

Weekend Update: There has been a terrible tragedy....

I'm Brian Fellows in Tiananmen Square buying "The script of this thread: Summarized by Phil Gates: Danke" Suddenly ants would be considered as offspring because the killer whale; THE END; The end IS NEAR. Well, Grandpa dissolved into tiny bits of goo right on, MAN! But, although some may say the goo tasted like chicken and smelled like fish... I cooked myself a big fat dish of sardines, but willywonka my cat, ate the sardines and took a dump in my new saut? pan, pee'ed in my whiskey and tickled my best friends nut-sack.

Meanwhile, squirrels have secks in the bushes during a full hurricane in Coconut Grove, Florida. Suddenly a bolt of lightning crashed down and killed the secksing squirrels cause I got high on women!

Frequent flyer miles collected by beer drinkers and Kheldar ate Chicken mayonnaise with catsup and fries near Ronnie Davees who shoved potatoes up his hamster?s azz, slowly. Boring but delightful. **** I was gonna post something, but I just got fired from my job... ****ing fegs. So pigs flew throughout the inside of a fishbowl and were shot down by Afghanistan missiles, the US reacted by burning incense non-stop inside of their Playboy printing factory which unfortunately printed 2,000,000 pics of Britney fully clothed by accident but little did we know Britney was a man, so it was good that the pictures were fully clothed. Though people still liked it all over 5 cents. Maybe that?s why we started this whole thing. In the end, the monkeys and all of Neowin were happy. But wait...... what about the Playboy magazines? It turned out to be Janet Reno with her new breast implants.

THE END..... And its final more did we know.

Or is it?

stay tuned

Same Neowin time

Same Neowin channel

voice>

The terrifying situation featuring testicles stewing in a red hot office assistant by the security guard who ate chicken pina colada salad with a side order of cumfilled peppers which were more spicy than usual and caused and unexpected smell to arise and knocked out anyone who smelt it like the spleen to play volleyball by the seaside with hot naked chicks. Little Normy got lucky, didn?t get hurt nor saddened. But suddenly!! a tornado sucked Homer....

Today, we ate pizza with red wine and squirrels when, oversized elephants wearing pink socks and wore green box0rz with red white and blue, and a t-shirt that read God Bless America was proudly worn by Osama Bin Laden! George W. Bush who liked to bomb the crap out of Afghanistan. YAY Cheered Rudy and all New Yorkers. Only crap tastes good, why did you say why? Because I felt like it, and it was worth it because? Wonderful! The beer I drank transformed into a cyber monkey spanking psycho Microsoft. While creatures infested with herpes trying to eat maggots with gonnoria and elaphantitus of the testicles of an octopus which swelled up into a balloon that dropped him in the new Neowin chat room where he farted loudly like bombs in Afghanistan falling out of the sky.

They hit the water bottle that shattered like a turd from a rotten ######. Suddenly, Microsoft Bob Saget started boring with stupid Fire breathing camels and LCD Imac2 while -FX- was trying to eat toddlers but then his pants lit on fire. Causing an ecological disaster on BSOD island, when 3nd3r climbed upon his lazydesert? and zoomed off to his personal jet and drank till he passed out, and ended up on beer **** and when vinh smacked himself on 3nd3rs big head 3nd3r kicked vinh in the butt, but it seemed very mushy because 3nd3rs mum killed Vinh's toilet seat and shot vinh's Pinky friend, 3nd3r. And then the end.

But the next day, it was sunny and purple, with a thick haze of green fog

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    • Liene PixCut S1 Starter Kit gets a whopping 31% discount on Prime Day by Steven Parker Liene reached out to us to share another Prime Day exclusive deal that starts today on Amazon. It gives buyers a massive 31% off on the cost of this color sticker printer and cutting machine. It's basically an all-in-one sticker maker for DIY crafts, custom labels and gifts. It utilizes thermal dye-sublimation at 300 dpi, and offers precise "AI" auto-cutting. Here are some more of its highlights: All-in-One Convenience - Print and Cut in One Step. Say goodbye to the hassle of using separate machines. The PixCut S1 seamlessly integrates high-resolution photo printing and precise die cutting into one streamlined device. With just a few clicks on the user-friendly app, you can edit, print, and cut directly from your smartphone via Bluetooth. Create stickers in just 2 minutes! This all-in-one solution saves you time and effort, making your creative projects more enjoyable and efficient. AI Image Extraction & Precision Cutting - Unleash your creativity with the AI image extraction feature that automatically recognizes and extracts subjects from your photos. Then watch as the high-precision cutting system, guided by the same AI technology, perfectly follows every edge with pinpoint accuracy. This seamless AI-to-cut workflow ensures flawless results every time. Turn any moment into custom stickers with professional edges in minutes - just masterpieces made simple. High-Resolution Prints - Vivid and True-to-Life Colors. Utilizing thermal dye-sublimation technology, the PixCut S1 delivers stunning 300 dpi high-resolution prints with 16.7 million colors. Whether you're printing photos, stickers, or labels, you can expect vibrant, true-to-life color effects that make your creations stand out. Every detail is captured with precision, providing professional-quality results every time. AI Lab - Bring Your Imagination to Life. Upload a photo, pick a style from the Liene Photo App, and watch AI bring your vision to life instantly. Turn selfies into an anime character, a fantasy hero, or a festive holiday illustration — all with stunning realism. One style, endless versions of you. Print your AI art as custom stickers, unique gifts, or social media posts — perfect for avatars and DIY projects. No design experience required. Your creativity is just one click away from magic. Durable Stickers - Create Long-Lasting Creations .Thanks to the four-layer thermal dye-sublimation technology, the photopaper is automatically laminated during printing. Stickers produced by PixCut S1 are durable, waterproof and scratch-resistant, ensuring they remain vibrant and intactover time. Perfect for creating custom stickers, labels, and more that last. No Subscription. Just Pure Creativity. With the Liene app, available on mobile, tablet, and desktop. Unlock 40,000+ free images, fonts & elements (and growing), plus 2000+ ready-to-use templates for phone skins, lens stickers, ID cards, labels, name tags, journaling, and more. No paywalls, no hidden fees, just pure creativity. Turn any idea into a custom creation in minutes. Your imagination has no limits, neither should your software. This deal is for the Starter Kit, so what do you get? What's in the box PixCut S1 Photo Sticker Printer and Cutter x 1 Photo Sticker Cutter Ink Cartridge x 1 (36 sheets) Photo Paper 4"x6" (18 sheets) Sticker Paper 4"x7" (White) x 18 sheets Blade x 1 (Pre-installed) So in short everything you need to get printing and cutting. The Liene PixCut S1 has a 4.3 star rating after more than 1,000 reviews from customers, but we can't promise the landing page always sold this particular model, so do check out the reviews before purchasing. In any case Prime members are covered with a 30 day return or replacement should things not work out so great. Liene Pixcut S1 for $205.99 (was $299.99) 31% off Use code 15PIXCUT6 during checkout Although this is a Prime Day discount, the above code will stay live until June 30. Good to know This Amazon deal is U.S. specific, and not available in other regions unless specified. We only use first-party seller links (at the time of article publishing); ensure that you purchase from a first-party seller link only. Check out Today's Deals on Amazon | or our recent tech deals. Become a Prime member (for Students or SNAP) via Neowin Get Prime Access - Prime for half price (for qualifying Medicaid, EBT, SNAP) Subscribe to Prime Video, Audible Plus, Music Unlimited or Kindle Unlimited via Neowin As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.
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