My Insane Apple Rant (yes, it is flamebait)

[azure.sapphire]

I really can not take much more of the speculation about the forthcoming iSlate, iPad or iWhatever. Therefore, I am launching a preemptive motion against this nonsense. I am going to give a presentation about how it should have gone... so that when you are talking about the wonderful little iGadget you might leave the Jobs Reality Distortion filled long enough to realize what you missed out on.

1). iPhone OS 3.2 for everyone (i.e. all current devices)

2). iPhone OS 4.0 demonstration with multitasking for next generation iPhone/iPod Touch (you know the one OLED, camera and ATT VOIP)

3). Some brief talk about the iPhone being available off the ATT network within the year, but if you stay with ATT... you get xyz.

4). Mac Home Server replaces the Mac Mini... it is a hybrid of WHS and in the clouds computing experience... see item #6.

5). iBook. It's not a Kindle, nor is it a massive screen iPod Touch. What it is, is a next generation Mac device... akin to the original iMac. It is Intel's answer to Nvidia. It has a new Atom dual core design, SSD storage, good gaming GPU, 10" display (that rotates), full ink tablet use, Wifi and runs a full version of Mac OSX.

6). Finally, the one more thing. They've moved into the clouds. It will begin with OSX. I like to think of it as Apple's response to Chrome OS. It will be available to everyone. It will be a full version of OSX. Full Xcode API. Full desktop with applications like iWork, iLife and many, many others.

Now this would be a show that didn't blow...

What you will get instead:

1). iPhone 3.2 (sometime this summer)

2). Crippled iPad device that is a mix between a Kindle and an iPod Touch with two year contract from ATT (otherwise over $1000)

3). No talk of Apple leaving the ATT network... strange bedfellows they do make (Apple and ATT)

4). iTunes in the clouds... for an extra fee you can stream your library (wow)

5). Maybe something about a more powerful Mac... maybe.

[SMELTN]

lmao I knew this was coming

[Stetson]

I know you're just being imaginative, but no way that they would go with an atom processor in a tablet. They've put too much time and money into the ARM architecture which offers much more performance per watt than the atom chips.

I get the feeling that the same people who will nitpick the tablet (or whatever it is) tomorrow (or are doing so already without any real information at all) are the same people who deemed the iPhone a complete failure because it didn't have MMS or Copy and Paste at launch. Even though they were legitimate shortcomings the iPhone still managed to move the bar for mobile phone companies. Look at what Motorola and Google are doing for example as compared to three years ago.

Edited January 26, 2010 by Stetson

[Shadrack]

Although Flamebaiting is against the rules, I fail to see how this is flamebaiting exactly. Incoherent rambling. Is there a point somewhere? Can we have some more speculation about Apple before tomorrow? The Internet does not quite have enough speculative posts yet.... :D

[Simon Veteran]

These are the points Apple has to hit for the keynote to be a success:

1) Introduce a tablet/slate

2) Announce that the iPhone is not going to be AT&T exclusive anymore, even though I'm in Canada and can choose from Bell, Telus, or Rogers anyway. And even on this point, they won't trash talk AT&T.

3) Release a beta of either iPhone 3.2 or iPhone 4.0 to developers, or release it to the public

4) iLife/Work '10, although I wouldn't be surprised to see this introduced on their website in the next few months. This is a wildcard.

Throw all of that into a keynote, and you've probably got some good results. Remember, Apple works in cycles: I'm expecting to see some spec bumps on some hardware, but all of the hardware has been updated recently. The iPhone is updated in June every year. The iPods have been updated in September since what, 2005? And Apple is increasingly announcing things without a stevenote, on their website. You don't need a keynote to announce a few new features or spec bumps anymore.

OP: I'm gonna be frank with you, those expectations are ridiculous. No company would introduce that many new products in one keynote and ship them soon after, especially not one like Apple who likes to maintain a small product line instead of overwhelming the customer. A lot of companies introduce things at their keynotes that will come out "some time in the future", but Apple's only really done that twice, with the iPhone and Apple TV. They usually introduce products that are shipping within a month of being announced - and usually, they ship the next day.

[Timan Veteran]

It'll be an epic let down :( and I won't be able to sleep tonight

[shockz]

I'm going to lol when apple doesn't announce a tablet and also when they don't mention the iphone is going multicarrier/leaving att.

[Phantom Helix]

I'm going to lol when apple doesn't announce a tablet and also when they don't mention the iphone is going multicarrier/leaving att.

There are 2 things wrong with this statement

1. IT will never be "Multicarier" (See #2)
2. AT&T no longer deserves the tittle "Carrier" as it was us iPhone users who "Carried" them all this time

:whistle:

[Growled Member]

I'm going to lol when apple doesn't announce a tablet and also when they don't mention the iphone is going multicarrier/leaving att.

I kind of hope they don't. That would be hilarious.

[evo0o]

personally want to see mbp get an upgrade to i5 processors.

[Paul Paliath]

If the Apple Tablet is simply an enlarged iPhone, running the iPhone OS, then I will honestly fail to see its use, and if it's as expensive as speculation hints it will be, then I think it's sure to be a flop. If it's running the iPhone OS, then it's essentially an enlarged iPhone sold at a higher price, and what good is that? I sincerely hope that it runs OS X so it can actually be useful and maybe be worth what Apple will likely charge for it.

If the Tablet is nonexistent though, the tech world will be completely disappointed. Even if Apple never wanted to make a Tablet, they should just to satisfy the general public considering how much the media has hyped this thing up, lol.

[PyX]

Usually I hate Apple bashing, because they're really trying their best effort to release quality products since Steve Jobs is there (well, they always did, but you know... I hated Apple until 6 years ago) but this one was rather funny :p

[Subject Delta]

If the Apple Tablet is simply an enlarged iPhone, running the iPhone OS, then I will honestly fail to see its use, and if it's as expensive as speculation hints it will be, then I think it's sure to be a flop. If it's running the iPhone OS, then it's essentially an enlarged iPhone sold at a higher price, and what good is that? I sincerely hope that it runs OS X so it can actually be useful and maybe be worth what Apple will likely charge for it.

If the Tablet is nonexistent though, the tech world will be completely disappointed. Even if Apple never wanted to make a Tablet, they should just to satisfy the general public considering how much the media has hyped this thing up, lol.

If the tablet has an Apple logo on it, it will sell. Personally It would be a better option to me if it ran OSX, running a platform as watered down as the iPhone OS on a tablet would be pretty poor really. It may work well on a phone, but it wouldn't go on a tablet IMO.

[Paul Paliath]

If the tablet has an Apple logo on it, it will sell. Personally It would be a better option to me if it ran OSX, running a platform as watered down as the iPhone OS on a tablet would be pretty poor really. It may work well on a phone, but it wouldn't go on a tablet IMO.

Attempting to sell a watered down tablet as you put it at ~$1000 may not fly even with the Apple logo on it, because people would find the iPhone to be of better value. I guess we'll all find out tomorrow, but I really hope that the tablet isn't as watered down as the rumored suggest it to be.

[Subject Delta]

Attempting to sell a watered down tablet as you put it at ~$1000 may not fly even with the Apple logo on it, because people would find the iPhone to be of better value. I guess we'll all find out tomorrow, but I really hope that the tablet isn't as watered down as the rumored suggest it to be.

I dunno, I recon some Apple diehards may, but it wouldn't sell en-masse. I'd like to hope that Apple wouldn't be that stupid, but then look at the first gen iPhone. Really though, people expect a tablet to essentially be a mini PC, so I couldn't imagine them getting away with using the iPhone OS on it, but I guess we will wait and see.

[Paul Paliath]

Oh it'll sell, but it won't be an epic hit like the iPhone was or like everyone anticipates it to be. With tablets and tablet-netbooks out there running Windows 7, the Apple Tablet definitely needs to be functional, and the best way to do that is to have it run OS X, unless they have something even better up their sleeves which we have no clue about.

[Mike415]

I don't see much use for it especially if it doesn't have flash. People like netbooks to bring to class and such and the iPad would be horrible for that from what I can tell. Also why carry around a still large product with a crippled OS versus one running a full OS plus a keyboard?