Dirtiest Computer You've Ever Seen?


Recommended Posts

Got this idea from reading another unrelated post. What's the dirtiest computer you've ever come across (not porn, like dust and stuff). I wish I had a photo, but the dirtiest one I ever cleaned actually had dead cockroaches, and little bits of aluminium foil they had carried into the computer for a nest or something I guess. Stuck to the inside of the metal was tons of little roach turds, and the dust was so thick it had actually hardened into little cakes of black and brown. The inside of the computer smelled of cigarette smoke, and the floppy drive bay was so caked with dust you couldn't see into it. It's a wonder the poor computer hadn't just set itself on fire to escape from its life, lol.

Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/988332-dirtiest-computer-youve-ever-seen/
Share on other sites

Was this from my post? :D

I had a friend who had a circa 2001 Dell dimension that was just filled to dust and back. Every nook and cranny was full of it. The heat that built up inside actually cooked her hard drive, but the machine only died 2 years ago, so it had a good run.

Nastiest one I ever had to deal with was back in the late 90's when I used to do hardware support. One of the clients was a rendering plant. The hardware was covered inside and out in this white dust. One of those jobs that aren't so bad when you go to your happy place and try not to think about it too much.

Worst one I saw was also in the early 90s when I had a computer company. A customer wanted their computer cleaned out. One of the slots in the back was missing its cover, usually no big deal. Apparently a rat thought the inside was a good place to have babies and forget about them. So I had to clean dead rat babies form the inside.

The complaint came in when the PC wouldn't boot. Reason? Hard drive cables had been chewed by a mouse, which not only had chewed various cables, but had peed and crapped many times everywhere. The stink was immense. I had to work on it out in the conservatory as I couldn't have it in the house.

I used to do PC repair at Circuit City before it went out of business so I had a few bad stories involving pest feces and cockroaches and miles of dust. However BY FAR the worst ever was a lady who brought in her laptop with "water damage" that came about from her (spoiler tagged for how nasty it is)

"live squirting web cam shows"

.

Of course she didn't let us know of this until AFTER we handled the laptop, Circuit paid for us to get STD tests just in-case ;).

I used to do PC repair at Circuit City before it went out of business so I had a few bad stories involving pest feces and cockroaches and miles of dust. However BY FAR the worst ever was a lady who brought in her laptop with "water damage" that came about from her (spoiler tagged for how nasty it is)

"live squirting web cam shows"

.

Of course she didn't let us know of this until AFTER we handled the laptop, Circuit paid for us to get STD tests just in-case ;).

That was totally NOT what I was guessing :rofl:

I had one where the dust was completely caked on to everything and it smelled horribly of cigarettes and marijuana. Her issue was a bad power supply which had cooked due to so much dust. After changing out the power supply I decided I'd be a nice guy and clean out the rest of the system.

Turns out that fan on the processor had more or less "gotten used to" the amount of dust that after cleaning it, it was not used to the freedom and spinning just a bit too much, heh. I told the client it was fine, no complaints from her yet...

Oh God, I hate people that smoke in front of their computers. You can ALWAYS tell. The dust is a sickly brown (I've seen some cases where it was VERY dark. They must have smoked a pack a day in front of those things) and whenever it's on, you can always smell the waft of stale cigarette butts coming out of the outtake vents.

The grossest computer, as far as it goes with "normal" dust situations, is some old Dell that must have come out of a mechanic's shop or something. Because other then the previously mentioned stench of cigarettes, the dust was also black and greasy, like it was covered in oil. Hence my assumption. It was a lot, too.

As for the "wtf" gross ones, I've had a few laptops with roaches and roach eggs, mouse feces (how the **** does a mouse get into a laptop anyways?!?), etc, but nothing compared to some of the other stories in here.

However, someone once literally shat on the floor of our store, so, uh... does that count?

I can think of quite a few adjectives to describe a token ring switch, but in this particular case, the best one would have been "irreplaceable". Around four years ago, this precise piece of irreplacable equipment needed replacement, and the only course was to upgrade what was possibly the most neglected network I have ever seen to the wonderful world of Ethernet.

The old Novell Netware server there was a 486DX2 which had quite clearly never been cleaned since the day it was installed. Somewhat surprisingly, there were no dead insects inside there. After picking it up to take outside and remove the dust, I found out it was because a spider was living in there under the PSU and keeping a handle on the situation. :laugh:

I don't think I'll be able to find the pictures since my old phone's storage card died (if I ever cared enough to back them up, I have no idea where to), but there was literally no way of discerning what any of the more intricate parts were ("the motherboard's probably at the bottom... maybe below that lump is the CPU..."). The dust was caked on the bottom and slightly fluffy up top, possibly an inch thick in some spots. This is pretty hard to accumulate without cigarette smoke, but they did it with nothing more than time and pressure. My instinct was to leave it alone; there were probably bits and bytes being routed straight through the layers of dust by this point, but I had a job to do and there was no way it could happen without cleaning the poor machine out.

Even outdoors, hitting that thing with the compressed air was like setting off a smoke grenade. Or, maybe, tear gas would be a more apt description, since I made the very unfortunate mistake of not checking the direction of the wind before my first blast. :wacko:

Half a can of air later (and MG Chemicals makes a serious can of air), the motherboard was green, the processor had a label, and I was able to install a slighly used PCI Ethernet card to upgrade the poor system from token ring. I have never been back to that facility, and indeed it's possible that no man of the IT cloth has been either. I'm not entirely sure whether I better like the idea of the whole network being replaced with modern, interoperable and manageable systems, or everything having been lost in time with only the minimum of changes needed to keep it alive. Maybe fate will bring me back there one day, and I might even get to meet the great great great descendent of the spider that lives under the PSU.

  • Like 1

I usually get asked by friends and family to repair their computers which usually involves stripping the system and cleaning all out cos things get really bad.

The one that stood out was a friend who i had known for years and always complained about his computer not working but did nothing about it, so i happened to be at his house one day and i decided that i would attempted to determine the problem and possibly fix it, we sit it up onto his coffee table that was covered in news papers to protect it and i proceeded to open the side of the unit anld to be honest i wish i never, every componant was covered in at least an inch of thick spongy dust that would have probably absorbed water if you dropped them into a full sink.

Normally what i would do with a computer when cleaning is to remove some componants and heatsink/fan unit clean with a small unused soft paintbrush and pop back into place, but not that time, i had to strip the whole thing down to a hollow shell, clean it from top to bottom and re-assemble. What i never expected was that the bloody computer had died, what killed was that there was so much thick dust between the CPU/Heatsink and Heatsink/Fan that there was no cooling being provided so it burnt itself out completely.

My friend thought that if i gave it enough C.P.R i would be able to revive it, don't think he understood it was D.O.A and i shouldn't have bothered working on it.

I can explain to my friends until i'm blue in the face that they need to look after their computers, but cry foul when it goes and dies.

Love threads like these because we can all relate and contribute to them.

Anyway, the worst one I have ever seen didn't have any dead rats or roach eggs in it, but I found a cigarette butt, a dead beetle (no idea what it was, but it wasn't a roach), and a ton of caked-on debris. The stuff looked like dust,

but came off in this weird, sticky powdery film (kind of like Cheetos) and was a PITA to wash off. Needless to say, it took a long time to get everything clean. Not only that, but the drives were wired wrong and one of the fans were

dying. The guy I was cleaning it for had no clue (of course), but I spent a good five or ten minutes explaining the fundamentals of cleaning a PC. I can only hope it didn't go in one ear and out the other.

Love threads like these because we can all relate and contribute to them.

Anyway, the worst one I have ever seen didn't have any dead rats or roach eggs in it, but I found a cigarette butt, a dead beetle (no idea what it was, but it wasn't a roach), and a ton of caked-on debris. The stuff looked like dust,

but came off in this weird, sticky powdery film (kind of like Cheetos) and was a PITA to wash off. Needless to say, it took a long time to get everything clean. Not only that, but the drives were wired wrong and one of the fans were

dying. The guy I was cleaning it for had no clue (of course), but I spent a good five or ten minutes explaining the fundamentals of cleaning a PC. I can only hope it didn't go in one ear and out the other.

I think it probably did go in one ear and out of the other, when your explaining to someone the seemingly complex task of looking after a computer and they stare at you like your transparent then you've completely lost them. i find that alot.

sum old ones i saw long time ago

I'll have to admit, I've never actually found a mummified rat glued to the inside of a computer before. That's a new one. I did however, when our first house burned, find a mummified possum in the flooring of the trailer we bought afterward. In order just to have a house, we went out and spent like $2k on a really old trailer, and proceeded to start gutting and building it up and into a house. While we were ripping out all the old floor insulation, we found a mummified possum that had somehow gotten between the floorboard and the insulation, gotten stuck, and died. We painted it blue and hung it next to a tree out by the mailbox, :p

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Maybe it's just my old-school soul talking, but I’ve always felt that games aren't 'real' games until they hit the PC. Leaving the PC community out at launch just doesn't sit right with me. That being said, I'm probably going to buy the PS5 just for the fun of trying it out.
    • The Vibe Coding Playbook: Building Your Tech Business with AI —was $35, now FREE by Steven Parker Claim your complimentary copy (worth $35) of "The Vibe Coding Playbook: Building Your Tech Business with AI" for free, before the offer ends on June 23. Description A detailed and up-to-date walkthrough for entrepreneurs with limited (or non-existent) coding skills who want to build profitable software companies using new gen-AI tools. In The Vibe Coding Playbook: Building Your Tech Business With AI, renowned AI and data science educator Siraj Raval walks you through exactly what you need to do to build a technology business with generative AI-powered code assistants. Raval offers step-by-step guidance for non-technical professionals and entrepreneurs interested in creating scalable, profitable enterprises without spending years learning how to code. This book conceives of new artificial intelligence tools, like Cursor, as “co-founders,” lighting your way to constructing valuable software products and services. You’ll learn to build minimally viable products (MVPs), iterate on your software products as you develop and after launch, and grow your company while maintaining a lean, efficient, solopreneur-focused structure. Inside the book: Detailed guidance for entrepreneurs interested in creating powerful tech solutions for niche problems and markets without hiring expensive software developers Strategies for using generative AI tools to substitute for traditional technical co-founders Illustrative case studies from real-world founders who built successful technology businesses without learning to code Useful tools for non-technical entrepreneurs, including prompt libraries, decision trees, QR codes linking to video tutorials demonstrating key techniques, and access to an exclusive online community of like-minded founders Perfect for ambitious professionals and entrepreneurs who want to build a successful technology company now – using commercially available AI tools – The Vibe Coding Playbook is your personal roadmap to creating useful and profitable software for customers without learning how to code. How to download for free Please ensure you read the terms and conditions to claim this offer. Complete and verifiable information is required in order to receive this free offer. If you have previously made use of these offers, you will not need to re-register. Was $35, but is now FREE | Below free offer link expires on June 23. The Vibe Coding Playbook: Building Your Tech Business with AI The below offers are also available for free in exchange for your (work) email: The Vibe Coding Playbook: Building Your Tech Business with AI ($35 Value) FREE - Expires 6/23 The Persuasion Engine: How Any Business Can Use AI-Powered Neuromarketing to Understand and Win Customers ($28 Value) FREE - Expires 6/24 How to Do More with Less: Future-Proofing Yourself in an AI-driven Economy ($28 Value) FREE - Expires 6/30 Cloud Security Fundamentals: Building the Foundations for Secure Cloud Platforms ($131.95 Value) FREE - Expires 7/1 The Complete Free AI Learning: Master ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini & More ($21 Value) FREE How to Build an AI Design Workflow with Gamma ($21 Value) FREE The Ultimate Linux Newbie Guide – Featured Free content Python Notes for Professionals – Featured Free content Learn Linux in 5 Days – Featured Free content Quick Reference Guide for Cybersecurity – Featured Free content We post these because we earn commission on each lead so as not to rely solely on advertising, which many of our readers block. It all helps toward paying staff reporters, servers and hosting costs. Other ways to support Neowin The above deal not doing it for you, but still want to help? Check out the links below. Check out our partner software in the Neowin Store Buy a T-shirt at Neowin's Threadsquad Subscribe to Neowin - for $14 a year, or $28 a year for an ad-free experience Disclosure: An account at Neowin Deals is required to participate in any deals powered by our affiliate, StackCommerce. For a full description of StackCommerce's privacy guidelines, go here. Neowin benefits from shared revenue of each sale made through the branded deals site.
    • Rockstar confirms Grand Theft Auto VI pre-orders begin next week, unveils cover art by Pulasthi Ariyasinghe The release date of Grand Theft Auto VI has moved quite a lot since its original announcement in 2023, but it finally looks like the game has found its final launch slot. Rockstar today had a new video upload on its YouTube channel, and while it wasn't a new trailer for the game, the company revealed two things. This was the pre-order kickoff date for Grand Theft Auto VI as well as the game's official cover art. The company revealed that June 25 is when fans of the series will be able to pre-order their copy of Grand Theft Auto VI. Pre-orders will be available both digitally and in retail stores. The newly unveiled cover art shows off the two new protagonists, as well as a few more characters that are probably vital to the campaign storyline. Shots of vehicles players can use like a light helicopter, motorcycle, sports car, and speed boat are also seen here, alongside a shot of a crocodile. "Jason and Lucia have always known the deck is stacked against them," says Rockstar describing the campaign's protagonist duo. "But when an easy score goes wrong, they find themselves on the darkest side of the sunniest place in America, in the middle of a conspiracy stretching across the state of Leonida — forced to rely on each other more than ever if they want to make it out alive." Grand Theft Auto VI is coming to Xbox Series X|S and PlayStation 5 on November 19, 2026. A PC version has not been confirmed yet, though it's expected by many to land after the console release. When asked about this, the Take-Two CEO says it considers the core audience for the Grand Theft Auto franchise to be on consoles.
  • Recent Achievements

    • Week One Done
      Huge Trailer earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Week One Done
      Classifyskilleducation earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Month Later
      eurospharma62 earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Week One Done
      With What earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Week One Done
      Harris Gilbert earned a badge
      Week One Done
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      553
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      168
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      72
    4. 4
      Michael Scrip
      64
    5. 5
      ATLien_0
      64
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!