Bottle rocket goes off in another student's rectum

By Hum
in Real World News

 Share

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

Hum

Posted
Posted

Okay everyone, here?s why you shouldn?t shove random objects up your arse. Not only can you injure yourself, you can also potentially injure others.

A college student from West Virginia is suing a fraternity for negligence, claiming he fell off a deck because a bottle rocket went off in another student?s rectum. :| Yes, their rectum. As in, someone willingly set off a bottle rocket in their behind. What a genius.

Louis Helmburg III of Marshall University is suing the Alpha Tau Omega Fraternity as well as rocket-arse Travis Hughes, claiming that he suffered injuries at a party in 2011.

His injuries came after Hughes, who was drunk, attempted to fire a bottle rocket from his anus. It probably seemed like a good idea at the time?

The lawsuit contends that instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant?s rectum, and this startled the plaintiff, caused him to jump back and subsequently fall off the deck. Let?s see?which do you think would hurt more? A fall off a deck or a rocket going off in your bum?

Helmburg claims that he suffered pain, medical expenses and lost playing time on the college?s baseball team (oh no!). He also says that the fraternity was negligent in supervising its guests and members.

Meanwhile no information is known about Hughes? medical condition after he used his anus as a rocket launcher. We bet he?s probably having trouble sitting down?

source

  • remixedcat and mokthraka
  • Like 2
Grand Master

DirtyLarry Veteran

Posted
  • Veteran
Posted

Wow. Seriously? You go to a frat party and then are trying to sue them for doing frat party type stuff? Seriously? Just what an idiot. Wow.

  • The Laughing Man
  • Like 1
Grand Master

Hell-In-A-Handbasket

Posted
Posted

Irony?

No, iPad

Just like now for some reason it wanted to put a ! After ipad when i hit space, sometimes it puts an n instead of a space, or doesnt recognize letters. And i dont notice it.

But thanks to your dilligant spell checker, i can rest at ease knowing that you have nothing other to say in the thread or conversation then to check spelling, and have to feel better about your self point it out.

Just like it seems your keyboard was broke when you picked your username

Grand Master

The Laughing Man

Posted
Posted

Wow. Seriously? You go to a frat party and then are trying to sue them for doing frat party type stuff? Seriously? Just what an idiot. Wow.

I agree with this, Infact makes you wonder how this asshat was able to pass joining the frat in the first place. Sue happy amerka.

Grand Master

Intersect

Posted
Posted

No, iPad

Just like now for some reason it wanted to put a ! After ipad when i hit space, sometimes it puts an n instead of a space, or doesnt recognize letters. And i dont notice it.

But thanks to your dilligant spell checker, i can rest at ease knowing that you have nothing other to say in the thread or conversation then to check spelling, and have to feel better about your self point it out.

Just like it seems your keyboard was broke when you picked your username

hahah advantage Hell-In-A-Handbasket.

not to worry tho just give him his cookie im sure he will go away lol.

This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Posts

    • 1TB Samsung T9 and Samsung 9100 PRO SSDs are now selling at great prices

      By Fiza Ali · Posted

      1TB Samsung T9 and Samsung 9100 PRO SSDs are now selling at great prices by Fiza Ali Amazon is now offering the 1TB variant of Samsung T9 and Samsung 9100 PRO SSD at great prices with limited-time 38% and 39% discounts, respectively, so you may want to check them out if you have been looking to upgrade your storage solution. The Samsung T9 connects via a USB 3.2 Gen 2x2 (20Gbps) interface and delivers sequential read speeds of up to 2,000MB/s and sequential write speeds of up to 1,950MB/s, making it suitable for transferring large files, backing up data, and handling high-resolution media content. When it comes to the security features, the SSD includes AES 256-bit hardware encryption to help protect sensitive data. Designed for portability, the drive is reportedly resistant to drops from heights of up to 3 metres. Furthermore, it operates within a temperature range of 0°C to 60°C and can be stored at temperatures between -40°C and 85°C. Samsung Magician Software is included for drive management, firmware updates, performance optimisation, and health monitoring. Finally, the T9 is certified to multiple international standards, including CE, FCC, UL, UKCA, and RoHS 2 compliance, and is backed by a five-year limited warranty as well. 1TB Samsung T9 SSD: $179.99 (Amazon US) - 38% off The Samsung 9100 PRO uses the M.2 2280 form factor and connects through a PCIe 5.0 x4 interface with NVMe 2.0 support. Built with Samsung V-NAND TLC flash memory, an in-house controller, and 1GB of low-power DDR4X cache memory, the 9100 PRO is engineered for high-performance computing and gaming workloads. Furthermore, the SSD delivers sequential read speeds of up to 14,700MB/s and sequential write speeds of up to 13,300MB/s. Random performance is rated at up to 1,850,000 IOPS for reads and up to 2,600,000 IOPS for writes, depending on system hardware and configuration. The drive supports TRIM, S.M.A.R.T monitoring, automatic garbage collection, and device sleep mode to help maintain performance and efficiency over time. In terms of security features, it includes AES 256-bit encryption, TCG Opal support, and IEEE 1667 compliance. The 9100 PRO operates within a temperature range of 0°C to 70°C, is rated for 1.5 million hours MTBF, and can reportedly withstand shocks of up to 1,500G for 0.5 milliseconds. Finally, Samsung Magician Software is also included for firmware updates, performance monitoring, drive management, and optimisation. 1TB Samsung 9100 PRO SSD: $206.99 (Amazon US) - 39% off Alternatively, you can also check out other SSD deals here. Good to know This Amazon deal is U.S. specific, and not available in other regions unless specified. We only use first-party seller links (at the time of article publishing); ensure that you purchase from a first-party seller link only. Check out Today's Deals on Amazon | or our recent tech deals. Become a Prime member (for Students or SNAP) via Neowin Get Prime Access - Prime for half price (for qualifying Medicaid, EBT, SNAP) Subscribe to Prime Video, Audible Plus, Music Unlimited or Kindle Unlimited via Neowin As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.
    • Researchers claim Microsoft's quantum breakthrough is flawed by basic Python errors

      By excalpius · Posted

      This is about the already discredited 2025 announcement. Not the current one, which I've heard nothing negative about in the academic literature.
    • Politically funny images of the World

      By +primortal · Posted

    • Researchers claim Microsoft's quantum breakthrough is flawed by basic Python errors

      By +LightEco · Posted

      lol
    • Grand Theft Auto VI pricing revealed alongside Ultimate Edition and pre-loading details

      By +LightEco · Posted

      So, for $60 we got GTA 5 WITH online. Now for $80, we get a game missing areas (shops locked to the $100 version) and no online. Progress!

  • Recent Achievements

    • Dedicated
      Scoobystu earned a badge
      Dedicated
    • First Post
      Tom Schmidt earned a badge
      First Post
    • One Month Later
      D0nn13 earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Rookie
      +ChiefOfNeo went up a rank
      Rookie
    • One Year In
      Tom Schmidt earned a badge
      One Year In

  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      465
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      177
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      123
    4. 4
      Michael Scrip
      81
    5. 5
      Xenon
      76
    Show More

  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!