joke Unavoidable Laws Of Life

[jnelsoninjax]

• 1. When one wishes to unlock a door but has only has one hand free, the keys are in the opposite pocket. (Von fumbles law)
  2. A door will snap shut only when you have left the keys inside. (Yale law of destiny)
  3. When ones hands are covered with oil, grease, or glue, your nose will start to itch. (Law of ichiban)
  4. Your insurance will cover everything but what has happened. (Insurance so sorry law)
  5. When things seem easy to do, it's because you haven't followed all the instructions. (Destiny awaits law)
  6. If you keep your cool when everyone else is losing his, it's probably because you have not realized the seriousness of the problem (law of gravitas)
  7. Most problems are not created nor solved, they only change appearances. (Einstein's law of persistence)
  8. You will run to answer the telephone just as the party hangs up on you. (Principle of dingaling)
  9. Whenever one wants to connect with the Internet, the call you've been waiting for all day will arrive. (Principle of Bellsouth)
  10. If there are only two programs on TV that are worth your time, they will always be at the same time. (Law of wasteland)
  11. The cost is always higher than one budgets for, and it is exactly 3.14 times higher, hence the importance of pi. (Law of pi eyed)
  12. The probability that one will spill food on one's clothes is directly proportional to the need to be clean. (Law of Campbell scoop)
  13. Each and every body sitting on a commode will cause the doorbell to ring. (Law of ogolly gee!)
  14. Wind velocity will increase proportionally to the cost of one's hairdo.(The donking principle)
  15. After discarding something not used for years, you will need it one week later. (Law of fatal irreversibility)
  16. Arriving early for an appointment will cause the receptionist to be absent, and if one arrives late, everyone else has arrived before you. (Law of de lay)
  17. Do not take life too seriously, because in the end, you won't come out alive anyway. (Theory of absolute certainty)

[GatorV]

Nice ones :lol:

[Xerino]

all 100% true

[neo158]

I have another one:

18. There's only two things that are certain in life, Death and Taxes.

[spacer]

#1 happens to me almost every day, and it ticks me off to no end.