joke Defining Occupations As They Actually Are

[jnelsoninjax]

• Accountant - Someone who knows the cost of everything and the value of nothing.
  Auditor - Someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.
  Banker - The fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)
  Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
  Statistician - Someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
  Actuary - Someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
  Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
  Mathematician - A blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
  Lawyer - A person who writes a 10,000 word document and calls it a "brief".
  Psychologist - A man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
  Schoolteacher - Is some one who likes children. A royal baby sitter.
  Consultant - Someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
  Diplomat - Someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

[firey]

Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

This is so true. I do software development for a living and I often have to fix problems/issues with older software that we still support. I don't know how many times I'll be told of an issue, I'll find and fix it, and when I try to explain what was broken and how I fixed it I usually just get a blank stare.

[DaveLegg Developer]

Economist - An expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Programmer - Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

Basically sums up what I've been doing at work for the past couple of months

[+Nik Louch Subscriber²]

This is so true. I do software development for a living and I often have to fix problems/issues with older software that we still support. I don't know how many times I'll be told of an issue, I'll find and fix it, and when I try to explain what was broken and how I fixed it I usually just get a blank stare.

Oh so very true. "What you working on?" - "I just fixed the issue with the order system, where billing addresses could be expired" - "..."