what is the funniest dream(s) you had?

By remixedcat
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

 Share

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

remixedcat

Posted
Posted

So what's the funniest dream(s) you've ever had???

Here's mine last night:

I had dreams that I was helping renovate a house and this guy thought it would be a good idea for us to go to a mexican place but one problem.... FREAKING TWILIGHT VAMPIRES WERE THERE!!!! AND A ZOMBIE.... I KILLED THE ZOMBIE AND ONE OF THE TWILIGHT VAMPIRES TOUCHED ME SO I DROVE A STEAK THRU THIER HEART. It was a 6 oz halipeno sirlion. MEXICAN FOOD KILLS VAMPIRES A LOT MORE QUICK THEN TRADITIONAL METHODS.

Please tell us yours!

  • Detection and Phouchg
  • Like 2
Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/1120384-what-is-the-funniest-dreams-you-had/
Share on other sites

Guest

Posted
Posted

This is a segment of an extremely long dream. This is the short version.

I had no arms (which seemed to bear no link to anything else, I simply had no arms) and went to a super high end hair dresser. I didn't have any hair (as in real life I have a grade 1) so I'm not sure why I bothered. They did stuff to my head while I couldn't see what they were doing. They turned me around to the mirror and my hair was pretty much the same (well they couldn't really do anything with it, there was hardly any hair to begin with). They had also put some weird 1970's glam rock makeup around my eyes.

I said while pointing to my hair "I like what you've done here" Then I pointed to my eyes "but I'm not sure about this".

The end.

Grand Master

Detection

Posted
Posted

I remember staying at a house party one night, lots to drink, my friends let me sleep on their bedroom floor, middle of the night I woke up to the entire house laughing, I sat up and asked my mate and his girl in bed what everyone was laughing at and they shouted "YOU!"

I was like "HUH?!" they said I had been laughing my head off in my sleep and set everyone else off which eventually woke me up :D

The only thing I can remember was dreaming something about Homer Simpson and a Microwave but I have no idea what :laugh:

  • remixedcat and Phouchg
  • Like 2
Grand Master

Arceles

Posted
Posted

Hmmmm.... one of the funiest I had is to see how a kart was runing very erratic and slow, then one of the wheels goes off the axle and hits a person in the face very slowly, I don't know why it was exactly fun but it made me to wake up laughing :D

Veteran

Mystic Mungis

Posted
Posted

My funniest dream is probably a bit too vulgar plus it's one of those things that I think is funny but everyone else would be like "dude, grow up" :p

I did have a weird dream last night though, I "woke up" and looked down at my right arm and there was a spider on it so I shook if off, then I looked at my left arm and there was a spider on it too so I shook it off as well. Then I got up and went over to my mirror and then I seen that I was a spider, then I woke up for real and thought "What the hell?" then rolled over to go back to sleep and noticed that there was a spider on the wall next to me... damn dream altering spiders ?_?

Grand Master

The Evil Overlord

Posted
Posted

I once had a dream that I could fly, but as the dream progresses, the whole ability to fly became more and more difficult for some reason, now I know that as far as the dream went, it's not funny, but I actually woke up and tried it, to see if I could in real life.

I did think to myself, did I just actually try to fly? Maybe I need help, lol who knows.

  • Draconian Guppy
  • Like 1
Grand Master

Nick H. Supervisor

Posted
  • Supervisor
Posted

I don't have "funny" dreams. They're either nightmares or just skewed events that don't make much sense when I think back on them later. I've had some crazy ones, like being an undercover cop in a restaurant not unlike the one in the Godfather before Pacino shoots the police. Sadly it didn't end well for me, and I ended up getting filled with lead as I was trying to get to the bathroom to grab the handgun. :(

Grand Master

+Nik Louch Subscriber²

Posted
  • Subscriber²
Posted

Last night I dreamt that I was camped outside DisneyWorld. My mate Dee was there with a friend, who kept trying to sleep with me. I eventually got rid of her, but Dee kept trying to sell me fabric samples, so I escaped on a golf cart.

Proficient

The Guvnor

Posted
Posted

The last dream I had had me as an Army man kicking ass some bad drug dealers/house squatters .

I even remember biting and then giving a stone cold stunner to this guy (pic below)

sharat-10.jpg

I also remember that this dude (pic below) was my senior commanding officer

217bfd43e3ed8853164abe4770421fa1_ls_t.jpg

And he threw this guy (pic below) right off the balcony of the 15th floor

0.jpg

I cant quite fathom what was military doing in a strictly civilian operation?

Moral of the dream, too much Bollywood is not good for you. Better to watch some American Porno instead.

Grand Master

remixedcat

Posted
  • Author
Posted

I once had a dream that I could fly, but as the dream progresses, the whole ability to fly became more and more difficult for some reason, now I know that as far as the dream went, it's not funny, but I actually woke up and tried it, to see if I could in real life.

I did think to myself, did I just actually try to fly? Maybe I need help, lol who knows.

go home, you are drunk

Proficient

The Guvnor

Posted
Posted

I once had a dream that I could fly, but as the dream progresses, the whole ability to fly became more and more difficult for some reason, now I know that as far as the dream went, it's not funny, but I actually woke up and tried it, to see if I could in real life.

I did think to myself, did I just actually try to fly? Maybe I need help, lol who knows.

+1 had similar dreams in my childhood

This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Posts

    • Samsung, Amazon extend 990 PRO 2TB NVMe SSD deal beyond Prime Day 2026

      By seeprime · Posted

      I like to reminisce about the good old days, way back in autumn 2025 when building a gaming machine was fun and the drives were about $150 when you caught a deal. Yes duh, back in the day we had it gone. Then baby Skynet came along, hiding in AI datacenters demanding more processing power until it reached singularity. End of a not totally fictional story.
    • Bypassed Windows 11 shows surprising stability on ancient, completely unsupported hardware

      By +Spark99 · Posted

      My experience in the past with older Windows 11 builds was not great on unsupported machines but I recently used Rufus to put the latest build on a older 5th Gen Core Thinkpad T that we upgraded with a SATA SSD and 8GB of RAM four years ago when hardware was reasonable and it seemed pretty fast and solid. Customer is very happy with the performance and will probably get four more years out of that venerable laptop that he loves so much. Another customer just retired his Dell Studio laptop from 2009 running Windows 10. It got an SSD over 10 years ago and did everything he needed it to for 17 years but he also retired last year and is happy doing everything on his iPad now.
    • Apple's newest AirTag 2 gets first big discount

      By TarasBuria · Posted

      Apple's newest AirTag 2 gets first big discount by Taras Buria In late January 2026, Apple introduced its second-generation AirTag trackers, bringing a refresh to the old model that has been on the market for half a decade. Now, you can get these new trackers at an all-time low price, thanks to the first big discount that brought the price down by 17% on Amazon. While the second-generation AirTag looks identical to its predecessor, it packs meaningful upgrades inside. The second-gen ultrawideband chip works 50% farther than the original AirTag, allowing you to detect lost items in a wider range. In addition, the second-generation AirTag features an upgraded Bluetooth chip for extended range and a significantly louder speaker (up to 50%) so that you can hear it better when locating a lost item. Note that the second-gen AirTag only works with iPhones and iPads that run iOS/iPadOS 26 and newer, so you need a compatible device to use the tracker. Like the original AirTag, the AirTag 2 is available in two packs: one and four pieces. Both are now available at a notable discount on Amazon, and you can purchase them using the links below. Apple AirTag 2 tracker - $24 | 17% off on Amazon Apple AirTag 2 tracker (four-pack) - $89 | 10% off on Amazon Good to know This Amazon deal is U.S.- specific and not available in other regions unless specified. We only use first-party seller links (at the time of article publishing); ensure that you purchase from a first-party seller link only. Check out Today's Deals on Amazon | or our recent tech deals. Become a Prime member (for Students or SNAP) via Neowin Get Prime Access - Prime for half price (for qualifying Medicaid, EBT, SNAP) Subscribe to Prime Video, Audible Plus, Music Unlimited or Kindle Unlimited via Neowin As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.
    • Tidal won't monetize AI slop music, company says

      By monterxz · Posted

      I've been on Deezer for over a decade, but glad that Tidal joined them in fighting AI slop. Can't stand such takes as Spotify's: "Spotify's CEO recently pushed back against listeners who call AI music "slop," urging people to stop using the term and instead embrace the creative potential of AI music."
    • Why it's almost impossible to produce a smartphone in the United States

      By Cosmocronos · Posted

      “Could” … in the IS the healthcare is run by insurance companies that make indecent profits denying basic treatments to people that are paying money for nothing. Besides, where are all the Trump epigones who were stating that the tariffs were going to paid by foreign companies and not the US citizens? …

  • Recent Achievements

    • Reacting Well
      NovaEdgeX earned a badge
      Reacting Well
    • Week One Done
      NovaEdgeX earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Year In
      BA the Curmudgeon earned a badge
      One Year In
    • Conversation Starter
      rosiecharles earned a badge
      Conversation Starter
    • First Post
      KMilenkoski1202 earned a badge
      First Post

  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      538
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      266
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      151
    4. 4
      Steven P.
      98
    5. 5
      macoman
      66
    Show More

  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!