CNN is on it...Is Cap'n Crunch not a REAL captain?

[webeagle12]

Cap'n Crunch, America's beloved mascot who has stood at the helm of breakfast cereal for more than four decades, has found himself in the middle of a controversy when it was alleged that he is not, in fact, a captain. 

In a blog entry posted last Friday on the site FoodBeast, writer Charisma Madarang revealed that while the moustachioed Cap?n's blue uniform displays three yellow stripes on his cuff, U.S. Navy regulations state that a captain is marked by four stripes. 

In other words, Horatio Magellan Crunch is not a Cap'n, as he has been known since 1963, but rather only a lowly commander.

 

Amid the manufactured brouhaha surrounding his alleged demotion in rank and accusations of treason online, the fictional cereal mascot was forced to take to his Twitter feed to refute the allegations. 

'All hearsay & misunderstandings! I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew, which makes me an official Cap'n,' Mr Crunch tweeted Monday to his 14,745 followers along with the hashtag #CrunchatizingRumors.

 

The cartoon mascot addressed the Cap'n-gate once again Tuesday, revealing himself as a Shakespeare aficionado when he paraphrased a verse from Rome and Juliet: 'So much fuss about my name. O, be some other name. What?s in a name? That which we call Cap?n Crunch, by any other name would taste as sweet.'

It was not long before Internet wits jumped abroad the Cap'n kerfuffle, trying to justify his captain rank. 

 

Some commenters suggested that perhaps he is a French 'Capitaine de fregate' whose uniforms come with only three stripes. 

Others pointed out that what's more disconcerting than Crunch's questionable status is the fact that his eyeballs bulge beyond the brim of his hat.

 

Even CNN weighed in on the soggy scandal, with talking heads addressing the heated online debate about Mr Crunch's official 'captain' rank, Gawker reported. 

Cap'n Crunch is a product line of sweetened corn and oat breakfast cereals introduced in 1963 and manufactured by Quaker Oats Company, a division of PepsiCo since 2001. 

According to the mascot's origin story, Cap?n Horatio Magellan Crunch was born on Crunch Island in the Sea of Milk. He sails the S.S. Guppy with his first mate, Seadog, and a crew of four kids. 

Their mission is to keep the cargo hold of cereal from falling into the hands of Jean LaFoote the Barefoot Pirate.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2344266/Is-Capn-Crunch-REAL-captain-Fictional-cereal-mascot-forced-refute-allegations-hes-fraud-traitor.html#ixzz2WfnXdlgv 
 

Seriously CNN???????? No wonder I stopped watching TV

[timster]

I guess there is absolutely nothing else happening in the world at that moment according to whoever decided to run with that

[chrisj1968]

which also explains why their base viewer ship has dropped and AJ has increased.

 

 

today in the news.. Cap'n crunch a fraud... film at 11. next on the news... Kim Kardashian inseminated and becomes the new octomom  BARF! :x

[Growled Member]

Even CNN weighed in on the soggy scandal, with talking heads addressing the heated online debate about Mr Crunch's official 'captain' rank, Gawker reported. 

 

Not CNN. If they had said FoxNews I would have been all right with it. :p

[Pupik]

I guess there is absolutely nothing else happening in the world at that moment according to whoever decided to run with that

Dude, it's a 24 hour news network. It's okay to make people laugh a bit here and there, instead of constantly depressing them with the world's news.

[compl3x]

Dude, it's a 24 hour news network. It's okay to make people laugh a bit here and there, instead of constantly depressing them with the world's news.

 

 

That's a generous description.

 

If they were better at reporting the news then perhaps people wouldn't see their idiotic commentary about a breakfast cereal so insulting. This reminds me of that George Carlin bit:

 

Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news as if it were an actual event! I don't give a ######! If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday I would have memorized it years ago! And I'd send him a card, 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday, Love George'. I don't do that, why, don't give a ######!...Mickey Mouse- no wonder no one takes our country seriously, we waste valuable news time informing our citizens of the age of an imaginary rodent!