CNN is on it...Is Cap'n Crunch not a REAL captain?


Recommended Posts

Cap'n Crunch, America's beloved mascot who has stood at the helm of breakfast cereal for more than four decades, has found himself in the middle of a controversy when it was alleged that he is not, in fact, a captain. 

In a blog entry posted last Friday on the site FoodBeast, writer Charisma Madarang revealed that while the moustachioed Cap?n's blue uniform displays three yellow stripes on his cuff, U.S. Navy regulations state that a captain is marked by four stripes. 

In other words, Horatio Magellan Crunch is not a Cap'n, as he has been known since 1963, but rather only a lowly commander.

 

Amid the manufactured brouhaha surrounding his alleged demotion in rank and accusations of treason online, the fictional cereal mascot was forced to take to his Twitter feed to refute the allegations. 

'All hearsay & misunderstandings! I captain the S.S. Guppy with my crew, which makes me an official Cap'n,' Mr Crunch tweeted Monday to his 14,745 followers along with the hashtag #CrunchatizingRumors.

 

The cartoon mascot addressed the Cap'n-gate once again Tuesday, revealing himself as a Shakespeare aficionado when he paraphrased a verse from Rome and Juliet: 'So much fuss about my name. O, be some other name. What?s in a name? That which we call Cap?n Crunch, by any other name would taste as sweet.'

It was not long before Internet wits jumped abroad the Cap'n kerfuffle, trying to justify his captain rank. 

 

Some commenters suggested that perhaps he is a French 'Capitaine de fregate' whose uniforms come with only three stripes. 

Others pointed out that what's more disconcerting than Crunch's questionable status is the fact that his eyeballs bulge beyond the brim of his hat.

 

Even CNN weighed in on the soggy scandal, with talking heads addressing the heated online debate about Mr Crunch's official 'captain' rank, Gawker reported. 

Cap'n Crunch is a product line of sweetened corn and oat breakfast cereals introduced in 1963 and manufactured by Quaker Oats Company, a division of PepsiCo since 2001. 

According to the mascot's origin story, Cap?n Horatio Magellan Crunch was born on Crunch Island in the Sea of Milk. He sails the S.S. Guppy with his first mate, Seadog, and a crew of four kids. 

Their mission is to keep the cargo hold of cereal from falling into the hands of Jean LaFoote the Barefoot Pirate.

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2344266/Is-Capn-Crunch-REAL-captain-Fictional-cereal-mascot-forced-refute-allegations-hes-fraud-traitor.html#ixzz2WfnXdlgv 
 

Seriously CNN???????? No wonder I stopped watching TV

post-56913-0-00620500-1371652795.jpg

which also explains why their base viewer ship has dropped and AJ has increased.

 

 

today in the news.. Cap'n crunch a fraud... film at 11. next on the news... Kim Kardashian inseminated and becomes the new octomom  BARF! :x

Even CNN weighed in on the soggy scandal, with talking heads addressing the heated online debate about Mr Crunch's official 'captain' rank, Gawker reported. 

 

Not CNN. If they had said FoxNews I would have been all right with it. :p

I guess there is absolutely nothing else happening in the world at that moment according to whoever decided to run with that

Dude, it's a 24 hour news network. It's okay to make people laugh a bit here and there, instead of constantly depressing them with the world's news.

Dude, it's a 24 hour news network. It's okay to make people laugh a bit here and there, instead of constantly depressing them with the world's news.

 

 

That's a generous description.

 

If they were better at reporting the news then perhaps people wouldn't see their idiotic commentary about a breakfast cereal so insulting. This reminds me of that George Carlin bit:

 

Mickey Mouse's birthday being announced on the television news as if it were an actual event! I don't give a ######! If I cared about Mickey Mouse's birthday I would have memorized it years ago! And I'd send him a card, 'Dear Mickey, Happy Birthday, Love George'. I don't do that, why, don't give a ######!...Mickey Mouse- no wonder no one takes our country seriously, we waste valuable news time informing our citizens of the age of an imaginary rodent!

 

 

 

 

 

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Microsoft's fast coding model MAI-Code-1-Flash comes to Copilot Business and Enterprise by Karthik Mudaliar Microsoft’s recently announced MAI-Code-1-Flash model is now generally available to GitHub Copilot Business and Copilot Enterprise customers. With this support, organizations can have more centralized policy controls and billing while finally being able to use Microsoft’s lightweight, first-party coding model. According to GitHub’s announcement, Business and Enterprise plan administrators must enable the MAI-Code-1-Flash policy in Copilot settings before developers can access the model. Microsoft says that MAI-Code-1-Flash is for fast, iterative coding work rather than the most demanding architectural or debugging tasks. GitHub’s official model comparison page says that the model is great for "general-purpose coding and writing," while it excels at fast, accurate code completions and explanations Microsoft introduced MAI-Code-1-Flash on June 2 as part of a broader collection of internally developed MAI models. GitHub subsequently expanded support to Copilot CLI, the Copilot cloud agent, GitHub.com chat, GitHub Mobile, Visual Studio, JetBrains IDEs, Eclipse, and Xcode, but said support for managed Business and Enterprise customers was still on the way. In Microsoft’s own benchmark testing, MAI-Code-1-Flash scored 51.2% on SWE-Bench Pro, compared with 35.2% for Anthropic’s Claude Haiku 4.5. Microsoft also claimed that the model used up to 60% fewer tokens on SWE-Bench Verified. Do note that these are vendor-run results rather than independent measurements. The model is billed at provider list pricing under GitHub’s usage-based system. GitHub currently lists MAI-Code-1-Flash at $0.75 per million input tokens, $0.075 per million cached input tokens, and $4.50 per million output tokens. For organizations, the main incentive to use MAI-Code-1-Flash is likely to be efficiency rather than maximum capability. A smaller model that responds quickly and limits unnecessary output is quite useful for repetitive agent tasks at scale, especially after GitHub Copilot’s move toward usage-based billing. The "Flash" model is recommended for fast work and not necessarily for huge repositories with loads of context. It's better if teams compare their output with other larger models, especially if they're working on security-sensitive changes and complex, multi-file work.
    • yes AND no the "original" or plain/normal Optiplex 7010 won't be getting any more new firmware updates BUT the Optiplex SFF/SFF Plus {small form factor}, Micro/Micro Plus & Tower/Tower Plus 7010 editions DO get new updates such as this new one   and here are similar guides from the Dell web site for Dell systems: https://www.dell.com/support/kbdoc/en-us/000390990/secure-boot-transition-faq https://www.dell.com/support/kbdoc/en-us/000347876/microsoft-2011-secure-boot-certificate-expiration
    • AT&T has been spying on US citizens with the NSA for decades.. they just know how to keep it more under wraps.. the evil level is still there.
  • Recent Achievements

    • One Year In
      bernmeister earned a badge
      One Year In
    • Week One Done
      Scoobystu earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Week One Done
      tuben earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • First Post
      OffsetAbs earned a badge
      First Post
    • Reacting Well
      OffsetAbs earned a badge
      Reacting Well
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      443
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      200
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      155
    4. 4
      FloatingFatMan
      71
    5. 5
      Steven P.
      66
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!