Wife kills herself over 'Gay' Spouse


Recommended Posts

AIIMS Doctor Commits Suicide, Blames 'Gay' Husband in Facebook Note.
 
 
25ewtxk.jpg
"AIIMS doctor Priya Vedi (late) with her husband Kamal Vedi, also a doctor at AIIMS. Facebook/Priya Vedi"
 
 
Unable to bear the torture by her 'gay' husband, a doctor working at Delhi's All India Institute of Medical Sciences (AIIMS) committed suicide on Sunday by slitting her wrist.
Dr Priya Vedi left behind a suicide note in which she blamed her 34-year-old husband for her death, based on which he was arrested on Sunday. The couple got married five years ago.  The Delhi police said that Priya checked into a hotel in central Delhi's Paharganj locality at around 12:30 am on Sunday and her dead body was recovered from the room at around 2:30 am, The Indian Express reported."She had had a fight with her husband. She then checked into the hotel and called up her parents to tell them that she was not well," a senior police officer said.The police were alerted after Priya's colleagues at AIIMS got calls from her parents, who said their daughter called up to say she was not well."When we reached the hotel, we saw the victim lying in a pool of blood. One of her wrists was slit, which may be self-inflicted. There was a used syringe lying by her side, which suggests she might have injected something into her body. All the evidence has been sent for forensic examination," the police officer said.
Kamal Vedi, Priya's husband is a dermatologist at the same AIIMS.   Thirty-one-year-old Dr Priya Vedi, a native of Jaipur, was married to Kamal five years ago.In her Facebook post, she revealed about her failed marriage and held her husband responsible for her death even as she mentioned at the end that his family was innocent.The police recovered the suicide note along with Priya's body and have begun investigation into the case. "We arrested the husband under section 498 b (husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty) and 304 a (causing death by negligence) of the IPC. The woman's body has been sent for a post mortem and investigations are on," DCP (Central) Paramaditya said.

Priya's note on FacebookHours before her body was found from a hotel room, Priya had posted a note on Facebook recounting the torment she had to endure in the last five years. In the note, she called her husband a "devil" and accused him of torturing her throughout their married life."In spite of knowing this I decided to help him to b as a wife with him . But he tortured me a lot mentally. And at last night he tortured me emotionally so I am unabl to take breath with him . And last Dr kamal vedi I loved you a lot and I return you took my all happiness from me. You are not a human being you are a devil , who take away my life from me (sic)," she wrote.She said she tried accepting her husband but things became worse as he started torturing her."i never told this to anyone because I was in love with him I thought one day everything would b okay. But than he started to find faults in me and my family . They torture me a lot mentally in these five years . In these five years I was just a wife tag for him.... I just wanted to be with you accepting you because I loved you very much but you never knew importance of this . You are a criminal Dr kamal vedi of my life," she wrote.In the note, she even requested other gay men not to marry a girl just for the sake of hiding the real face behind a married life."If someone in our society is like him please don't marry to a girl to save yourself , you people by doing so not playing only with someone emotions also with a girl and her family's life (sic)," she wrote further.

 
Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/1254268-wife-kills-herself-over-gay-spouse/
Share on other sites

Oh, I'm sure there were many other issues involved in which the media focuses on the gay issue as the catalyst.

 

Click bait. Remove the word "gay" from the headline and no one would care.

 

-1 point for bothering to rent a hotel room

  • Like 2

Click bait. Remove the word "gay" from the headline and no one would care.

Yeah, and I didn't read anything that indicates any real evidence that he mistreated her. If he is gay, is that what she considered mental and emotional abuse? I don't think there is enough information presented for this to be a story yet.

why are hell you would kill yourself,

just because you found out that somebody else having different sexual orientation than what they initially claim?

 

According to the article, she had 5 years of a generally abusive relationship... that is the main part of the story. The gay thing is clickbait.

I love how the people come out with the bigot comments. in some cultures it is a humility of mass proportions to be treates as she was and to find out the man that married her was gay.

 

at some point, at some time, people have to be honest. But we are living in a time when right is wrong and wrong is right. While I disagree with her committing suicide personally, the devastation of marrying someone who lied to you doesn't make you a bigot rather, screwed over.

 

and finally, homosexuality is illegal in India. a court in early 2014 criminalized homosexuality. http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/indias-gay-community-scrambling-after-court-decision-recriminalises-homosexuality-9146244.html

 

sorry just because someone doesn't agree with you doesn't make them a bigot. so we can turn the tables on all these bigot screamers this is what intolerance. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/bigot

 

noun
1.
a person who is utterly intolerant of any differing creed, belief, or opinion.
 
so get the term correct before labelling. if someone disagrees and you call them a bigot, you're committing hypocrisy.. bigotry has nothing to do with sexual orientation
 
 
noun
1.
any system, doctrine, or formula of religious belief, as of a denomination.
2.
any system or codification of belief or of opinion.
3.
an authoritative, formulated statement of the chief articles of Christian belief, as the Apostles' Creed, the Nicene Creed, or the Athanasian Creed.
 
 

I think if homosexuality and bisexuality was better accepted in that society (and in all other societies in general), none of this would have happened. He could have lived his life as an openly gay individual without having to marry this woman. Furthermore, we do not have any evidence that he actually mistreated her physically or emotionally, and if the police cannot find any valid evidence of that he should be let go or if they do he should be convicted based on that evidence.Though, I certainly do not believe he should be convicted because of his homosexuality; someone above me mentioned that homosexuality is illegal, but I believe it is this law that should be removed.

 

However, I still do feel with this woman because his coming out, attitudes of greater society in general, and the attitudes of her family and his family probably put a lot of pressure on her. Indian culture is very different from ours especially when you look at the traditional end of spectrum. In many cases marriage is still arranged, sometimes directly other times indirectly; and there is a huge amount of pressure put on individuals to stay in the marriage from both sides of the extended family (this can range from societal threats, financial threats, and even physical threats), so divorce is not always an option. Moreover, I also believe that his coming out in the marriage (which again I do not blame him for, but rather believe is a societal problem over there) probably put some stress on there as well. Imagine you learned that your spouse or partner, whom you love very much and hoped to spend the rest of your life with, does not have the capacity to love you on a physical and/or emotional level; some people will simply get a divorce or separate and move on, while others will have a lot more difficulty emotionally dealing with this information (and the inability to separate or get a divorce for reasons I mentioned above certainly does not help with this). Furthermore, we do not know if she had other underlying conditions relating to her mental health or if she was being abused (both of these things could have had a profound influence on why she did what she did). Based on the information we do have though I feel her anger to her husband was largely misplaced (unless he did abuse her), as I believe her extended family and greater Indian society norms played a roll were all huge factors in her distress. I do not believe she was bigoted, but she probably did not know all that much about sexuality (how could she know in a society where sexuality and especially homosexuality, are still very much a taboo subjects) and she could not have done much in that situation due to many of the reasons I explained above. Overall, I believe that both her and her husband are victims of that society.

Stop calling her a bigot. She killed herself because he was abusing her, not because he was gay. Terrible headline.

Eh?

Nowhere i nthe article does it say that...nor the FB post they linked where she explains that it was her husband's homosexuality (and doesnt fault his family).

He's been charged with Abuse and Negligence, but theres nothing in the article to suggest he had been either.

Eh?

Nowhere i nthe article does it say that...nor the FB post they linked where she explains that it was her husband's homosexuality (and doesnt fault his family).

He's been charged with Abuse and Negligence, but theres nothing in the article to suggest he had been either.

 

You didn't read very far into it then..

 

Hours before her body was found from a hotel room, Priya had posted a note on Facebook recounting the torment she had to endure in the last five years. In the note, she called her husband a "devil" and accused him of torturing her throughout their married life."In spite of knowing this I decided to help him to b as a wife with him . But he tortured me a lot mentally. And at last night he tortured me emotionally so I am unabl to take breath with him .

 

It doesn't get much more clearn than "tortured me mentally".

You didn't read very far into it then..

 

Hours before her body was found from a hotel room, Priya had posted a note on Facebook recounting the torment she had to endure in the last five years. In the note, she called her husband a "devil" and accused him of torturing her throughout their married life."In spite of knowing this I decided to help him to b as a wife with him . But he tortured me a lot mentally. And at last night he tortured me emotionally so I am unabl to take breath with him .

 

It doesn't get much more clearn than "tortured me mentally".

 

It all depends on how she defined "torture".  In a society where homosexuals are ostracised, merely the act of being married to a gay man who wouldn't sleep with her could easily be counted as mental or emotional torture; not to mention the societal shame she would be subjected to if her peers discovered the truth.  

 

Unrequited love can be a powerful thing.  Unless there's evidence to the contrary, I doubt he was actually abusing her...

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Oh, I did. And it's even worse than I was hoping! Besides a lot of techno-babble jargon (yes I understand 100% of it but it's still all just techno-babble) there's 2 key points that make me super-weary about even considering testing this out. -- By default, after installation, a relay is automatically set up, so you do not need to care about that. * Non-chatmail apps use email servers as a long-term message archive while chatmail clients use email servers for ephemeral instant message relay. * Supporting the full variety of classic email setups would require considerable development and maintenance efforts, and complicate making chatmail-based messaging more resilient, reliable and fast. -- Basically, the end-user device is the 'server' (relay) so there is NO ARCHIVING whatsoever because every message is necessarily ephemeral. Great for techno-paranoia (and for illicit activities preferring no tracks to cover) but terrible for everybody else. It's also ironically contradictory to engineering principles of redundancies besides the transport layers due to the explicit absence of any persistent storage. Instead of 'classic email address' retaining multi-GB messaging archives on its server, now every device must retain 100% of those storage demands. (Email messages were originally meant to be short correspondences, not the multi-MB attachments boondoggle that now exists with unlimited spam engines flooding every potential recipient.) Any device swap or reset (or loss) makes the entire message history go bye-bye forever... lest there's an off-device auto-archival "relay" mechanism that's really a separate server that holds onto all transported messages (an email server) that utilizes 'chatmail email address' identities (like an email server) and its own persistent storage archive (like an email server). But... this solution is hoping to exist alongside real-world email address identities (based on the email server relay pathway) but simply render messages in chat thread format in an ephemeral manner (with contents being encrypted, and messages auto-expiring) ... In the end, it's a chat app/experience for the Web3/P2P-at-all-costs zealots. (I have accts on all sorts of federated web3 services so I understand the technical and non-technical alike.) For any practical users, however, it's just another service to download/install, register, cross-share id cards/qr codes, but know that there's no history/archive whatsoever (by design) so no account/message recovery whatsoever... update the device, install a bummed update patch, or dare upgrade your device... all history, poof, gone. Ya gotta start everything over again like they're a brand new person.
    • You've tried DuckDuckGo and Brave Search, now get serious with SearXNG by Paul Hill Over the last decade, it has become quite trendy to dump Google Search in favor of privacy-preserving alternatives such as DuckDuckGo, Startpage, and Brave Search. These search engines have done a very good job at highlighting dodgy practices by Google, such as adjusting search results based on what it thinks you’ll like (filter bubble) and stalking you around the web to advertise to you. While these search engines are good starting points when compared to non-private services like Google, there are still quite a few issues with them. For example, both DuckDuckGo and Brave Search require running non-free JavaScript in your web browser, which is comparable to running proprietary software on your computer, meaning you can be sure about what it’s actually doing in the background. Another issue is that these search engines are hosted on the respective companies’ servers, and you are using a service that you don’t control. Finally, DuckDuckGo, while offering privacy features, relies heavily on Microsoft’s infrastructure for its results and, in the past, has permitted Microsoft tracking scripts. If you are looking for a more private search solution than DuckDuckGo, Brave Search, and Startpage, then I recommend taking a look at SearXNG. It is a privacy-respecting metasearch engine that can be used via different public instances, which is useful for mobile users, or you can install it on your computer or server and run it locally with maximum control. Unlike Google, Bing, or Brave Search, which crawl the web and have their own search indexes, SearXNG is a metasearch engine, meaning it taps other search engines, stripping your identifying data, such as IP address, user agent, and cookies, in the process. Your search query is sent to the other search engines you enable before aggregating the results. SearXNG has deployment flexibility. If you are a casual user or a mobile user and don’t want to run SearXNG locally, you can use a public instance that is hosted by someone else. The main problem with this is that you are putting trust in the maintainer of the instance regarding stuff like logs that they may keep; good hosts should have a privacy policy explaining their policies. If you are trying to use SearXNG, you can also install the software on your device and then head to 127.0.0.1:8080 in your browser and search from there. While you don’t have to worry about a third-party admin like the public instances, search engines could ultimately block your IP address if they frown on you pulling in their search results locally. If you want to run it locally, it’s a good idea to use proxies or VPNs to hide your actual IP. You don’t have to worry about this with a public instance, as search engines never see your IP address. The main privacy benefit of using SearXNG is that it isolates your identity from the underlying engines that it’s capable of searching, such as Google and Bing. These search engines will only see requests coming from a generic server, so they can’t profile you and create a bubble filter that influences what results you see. This also ensures that your search engine doesn’t turn into an echo chamber that prevents you from reading alternative points of view. As a free software project, you are allowed to inspect SearXNG to make sure there are no negative features bundled inside. This sets it apart from the privacy search engines mentioned earlier because you can’t check their source code. As a meta search engine, you are not restricted to getting results from one source. Due to the fact that it scrapes content from other websites, your SearXNG instance will periodically get blocked from different providers, so it’s good to select a range of sources as a backup. While enabling all of the services will give you great results, this can make searching slower. I am personally happy with slower searches for the best results, but you can always check which providers are slowing down your search from the search results page and disable them to speed things up. If you want decent results quickly, enable the main search providers such as Google, Brave, DuckDuckGo, Qwant, Bing, and Yahoo. This way, you get wide coverage without the latency. On the Engines tab in Preferences, do note that there are different tabs, such as General, Images, and Videos, with their own providers that can be toggled and are not covered by "Enable all" while on the General tab, so be sure to dig into each. Just a note, if you want to enable everything, press "Enable all" in one tab, then hit save at the bottom of the page, then do the next tab, and so on. If you press "Enable all", then do that in each tab, and then save, nothing will stick. When I had just some of the search engines enabled, I searched “define nefarious” and results came back with the definition of “define” - obviously that was a sucky result. However, when I had everything enabled, it found dictionary pages for the word “nefarious” and even had an inline definition on the sidebar, which is quite nice too - that was delivered by WolframAlpha for anyone wondering! Probably the worst thing about this meta search engine is that the engines you select are saved with a cookie, so you must enable them on every new device you use SearXNG on, including if you decide to go into incognito mode with your web browser. Honestly, I would say this is the most annoying aspect, and perhaps if your browser lets you choose a separate private browsing search engine, then it would be best to use DuckDuckGo for this portion of your browsing. Another weakness of SearXNG is the random blocking of it by search providers. When you are on the results page, expand the “Response time” box, and it will show things like “Suspended: too many requests” or “access denied”. This is why it is good to enable several providers so that there is always a fallback to get results from. I won’t pretend SearXNG will be for everyone, however, if you enable all of the providers and put up with the slower response time, the results can be really amazing. Even if you don’t want to use it as your daily driver, keeping a bookmark handy that links to it is a good idea if you ever feel like doing a deep dive into a niche topic where other search engines are just failing to bring up any good result, due to the amount of sources it looks on. If you’re interested in radical user control over the software you use, installing SearXNG locally can also be a good idea, but be prepared to be temporarily blocked from sites if you trigger bot sensors without a VPN. Personally, I’ve opted to use a public instance, rather than install it myself. If you want to use it via a public instance, head over to searx.space to find a provider. Let us know in the comments if you have used SearXNG or its predecessor, Searx. What do you think about the quality of the results?
    • Dear Neowin, If it is not too much trouble, can you start using the new-ish designations for Insider Preview? "Experimental" is different than "former Dev" as it can apply to different models, eg 26H1 or 26H2 etc, right? No need to seed confusion IMHO. And, please "finally" update your graphics. OK?
    • Did you see their FAQ, its quite good. Have a look in the Advanced section. https://delta.chat/en/help
    • Just install Linux Mint that is a real blessing and many times cheaper because you can continue using your old Windows computer/laptop with the latest Linux updates.
  • Recent Achievements

    • Week One Done
      Woland13 earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Month Later
      Woland13 earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • One Year In
      bernmeister earned a badge
      One Year In
    • Week One Done
      Scoobystu earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Week One Done
      tuben earned a badge
      Week One Done
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      502
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      226
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      158
    4. 4
      Steven P.
      75
    5. 5
      FloatingFatMan
      71
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!