Seven Degrees of Blonde


Recommended Posts

Some of them might have been posted before. If so, I apologize. But here goes......

FIRST DEGREE A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning. The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said, How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.

The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear."

SECOND DEGREE Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar."

The second blonde says, Here, let me see!"

So the first blonde hands her the compact. The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

THIRD DEGREE A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she

goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when

she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead.

Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head.

The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don't do it!!!"

The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"

FOURTH DEGREE A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals.

She proudly says, "! Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them."

A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?"

The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy: W."

FIFTH DEGREE What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was

pregnant?

"Are you sure that it's mine?"

SIXTH DEGREE Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman, sat in her US government class. The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade was about.

Bambi pondered the question then finally said, "That was the decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware."

SEVENTH DEGREE Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.

The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit, patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman."

Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/141249-seven-degrees-of-blonde/
Share on other sites

Roe vs Wade (the abortion law)....

George washington had to deceide if he

should ROW (a boat across the river)

or WADE (across the river on foot).......

:alien:

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Windows 11 version 26H2 is now available for testing in the latest preview build by Taras Buria Friday Windows 11 preview builds are here. Insiders in the Experimental (formerly Dev) and Beta Channel can download builds 26300.8697 and 26220.8690. There are no new features, but Microsoft is officially moving the Experimental Channel to version 26H2. In addition, Microsoft is improving the copy dialog in File Explorer, the Start menu reliability, and fixing virtualization issues. Here is the changelog: [General] With today’s build, Windows Insiders in the Experimental channel will see the versioning updated under Settings > System > About (and winver) to version 26H2. For more information, see the Windows Insiders blog. [File Explorer] We’ve improved the visual consistency and reliability of the Copy dialog in Dark mode, including its launch experience and the expanded progress view. [Start menu] - Also available in Beta Improved reliability of Start menu reflecting newly installed or removed apps without requiring sign-out or restart. [Taskbar] Fixed an issue for Insiders using the new smaller taskbar option, where the system tray might get cut off or pushed off screen. [Settings] - Also available in Beta Improved reliability of Settings > Apps > Startup. [Virtualization] - Also available in Beta This update addresses an issue that could result in bugchecks citing HYPERVISOR_ERROR (0x20001) and KMODE_EXCEPTION_NOT_HANDLED (0x1E) errors after installing the latest flights on some devices during system restarts, virtual machine operations, or while running some gaming applications. You can find the official changelog for the Experimental build here and for the Beta build here.
    • I've always preferred this possibility. There is something that feels good about the idea that all matter in the universe will eventually come back together and maybe even result in another big bang. The idea that the universe would fizzle out over the eons and forever drift apart is a little depressing. I realize it is not logical to let a basic human desire for life to have a grand everlasting meaning change the way I feel about a scientific theory, but I am human, so that is how I feel :-).
    • Windoze 11 could finally go to hell, instead of making me savor yet another error I've never had. "Bad Pool Caller" or whatever TF cryptic crap0la message it is. Adding salt to injury, it says something along these lines (on the blank black screen after it hard stops): "Your windoze needs to restart. You can restart." NO WAY SHERLOCK. The PEECEE, look, it's *blocked*, I can do jack sh1t with it as it is and you say that it needs to restart? Further, that I can restart? What am I supposed to do, take a herbal bath? Sudo a sandwich? Timewaster pile of useless slop and errors, coded by monkeys and force-fed on us by a pedo-founded corporation, that's all there is to it. Now, let's have a fun weekend trying to handle the error, which after a quick internet check can basically be due to EVERYTHING, from memory faults to drivers to motherboard issues. Thanks M$.
    • Zen Browser 1.21.3b by Razvan Serea Zen Browser is a privacy-focused, open-source web browser built on Mozilla Firefox, offering users a secure and customizable browsing experience. It emphasizes privacy by blocking trackers, ads, and ensuring your data isn't collected. With Zen Mods, users can enhance their browser experience with various customization options, including features like split views and vertical tabs. The browser is designed for efficiency, providing fast browsing speeds and a lightweight interface. Zen Browser prioritizes user control over the browsing experience, offering a minimal yet powerful alternative to traditional web browsers while keeping your online activity private. Zen Browser’s DRM limitation Zen Browser currently lacks support for DRM-protected content, meaning streaming services like Netflix and HBO Max are inaccessible. This is due to the absence of a Widevine license, which requires significant costs and is financially unfeasible for the developer. Additionally, applying for this license would require Zen to be part of a larger company, similar to Mozilla or Brave. Therefore, DRM-protected media won't be supported in Zen Browser for the foreseeable future. Zen Browser offers features that improve user experience, privacy, and customization: Privacy-Focused: Blocks trackers and minimizes data collection. Automatic Updates: Keeps the browser updated with security patches. Zen Mods: Customizable themes and layouts. Workspaces: Organize tabs into different workspaces. Compact Mode: Maximizes screen space by minimizing UI elements. Zen Glance: Quick website previews. Split Views: View multiple tabs in the same window. Sidebar: Access bookmarks and tools quickly. Vertical Tabs: Manage tabs vertically. Container Tabs: Separate browsing sessions. Fast Profile Switcher: Switch between profiles easily. Tab Folders: Organize tabs into folders. Customizable UI: Personalize browser interface. Security Features: Inherits Firefox’s robust security. Fast Performance: Lightweight and optimized for speed. Zen Mods Customization: Deep customization with mods. Quick Access: Easy access to favorite websites. Open Source: Built on Mozilla Firefox with community collaboration. Community-Driven: Active development and feedback from users. GitHub Repository: Contribute and review the source code. Zen Browser 1.21.3b changelog: New Features Updated to Firefox 152.0.1 Fixes Fixed transparency not working after updating to 1.21.2b (#14259) Fixed frequent crashes affecting users with Intel Raptor Lake processors Fixed an issue on macOS where choosing a PDF option, such as "Save as PDF", from the system print dialog would send the job to your printer instead of saving a file. Other minor bug fixes and improvements. Download: Zen Browser | 90.2 MB (Open Source) Download: Zen Browser ARM64 | Other Operating Systems View: Zen Browser Home Page | Screenshots 1 | 2 | Reddit Get alerted to all of our Software updates on Twitter at @NeowinSoftware
    • Get 1-year and $60 of Sam's Club value for just $15 with Auto-renew by Steven Parker Become a Sam's Club Member Now! Shop Premium-Quality Products and Enjoy Incredible Perks, and Savings. Today's highlighted deal comes via our Gift Cards section of the Neowin Deals store, where for only a limited time, you can save 75% off a Sam's Club 1 Year Membership with Auto-Renew. Sam’s Club is a membership warehouse club, a limited-item business model that offers members quality products at an exceptional value unmatched by traditional retail. From groceries and kitchen supplies to electronics and furniture, Sam's Club has great deals on the items you want! By redeeming and signing up as a member, you'll be paying just $20 for a 1 year Sam's Club membership (normally $50.) You'll receive a complimentary household card for more savings from already low-priced items. Sign up now and save money on all your food and decor. Find great deals on groceries, kitchen supplies, electronic, furniture & more Get discounts on hotels, rental car, live events, attractions, movies, & more Save up to 60% on hotel accommodations around the world Get a complimentary household card for more savings from already low-priced items Although it was published quite some time ago, Sam's Club members can enjoy discounts like this. Important Details For a physical membership card after online membership registration, present your phone number or email along with a valid ID at Sam’s Club Membership Services in any US Sam's Club location to have your membership card printed. This membership offer is only available to new Sam's Club members in the USA. It is not valid for membership renewals, for those with a current membership, or those who were Sam’s Club members less than 6 months prior to the current date. To check your renewal date, please check your billing statement or your online account, or chat with an associate. Promotion code is non-transferable Offer valid for new Sam’s Club members only; not valid for membership renewals, for those with a current membership, or those who were Sam’s Club members less than 6 months prior to the current date. Auto Renew: By accepting this offer, you authorize annual recurring charges to any card on file for your Sam's Club membership fee(s) plus any applicable taxes at then-current rate every year until you cancel. Current rates, which may change, are $50 for Club level and $110 for Plus level. Visit SamsClub.com or a club or call 1-888-746-7726 for full terms or to cancel auto-renewal. Valid at over 597 U.S. Sam’s Club locations. Find a location near you. Redemption deadline: redeem your code within 30 days of purchase Access options: desktop & mobile Membership MUST be activated within 30 days Membership expires 1 YEAR from the date the Sam's Club membership is activated Limit 1 per person, may buy 1 additional as gift This Sam's Club 1 Year Membership normally costs $60, but can now be yours for just $15, for a limited time, that's a saving of $45 (70%) off! For specifications, and terms, please click the link below. Get 1-year of Sam's Club with Auto-renew for just $15 (was $60) This deal is only available to U.S. residents. Support queries If you have queries or need support for any of the Neowin Deals, please use the contact form here. Neowin Deals are managed and sold by StackCommerce who represent Neowin on an affiliate basis. Why we post these deals We post these because we earn commission on each sale so as not to rely solely on advertising, which many of our readers block. It all helps toward paying staff reporters, servers and hosting costs. So for those that keep moaning and complaining, be thankful we're still online for you to even do that. Other ways to support Neowin Whitelist Neowin by not blocking our ads Create a free member account to see fewer ads Make a donation to support our day to day running costs Subscribe to Neowin - for $14 a year, or $28 a year for an ad-free experience Disclosure: Neowin benefits from revenue of each sale made through our branded deals site powered by StackCommerce.
  • Recent Achievements

    • Collaborator
      ryansurfer98 went up a rank
      Collaborator
    • Week One Done
      Eurosoft10 earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Month Later
      Eurosoft10 earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • One Year In
      Skeet Campbell earned a badge
      One Year In
    • One Month Later
      Sharbel earned a badge
      One Month Later
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      578
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      190
    3. 3
      Michael Scrip
      77
    4. 4
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      76
    5. 5
      Steven P.
      73
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!