top 10 reasons for.......

By spiegel
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

 Share

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

spiegel

Posted
Posted (edited)

DISCLAIMER: this is not something to be taken literally its supposed to be a joke, so dont get all b*tchy and whiny if you dont like it. thanks

have fun :D

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING DUTCH :

1. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.

2. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.

3. a. You can legally kill yourself

b. You can legally be killed

4. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.

5. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen

is your capital.....

6. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a

national tradition.

7. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country

8. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still

you've never seen your neighbours.

9. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If a war is started, blame

the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.

10. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING BELGIAN :

1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligibly.

2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your

country.

3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.

4. You are either

a.like the Dutch, just less efficient

b.like the French, just less romantic

c.like the Germans

5. Decent fries. Real mayonnaise. Great chocolate. The best beer.

6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and

they make fun of you.

7. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.

8. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares

9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders

10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GERMAN :

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

9.

10.

Give them a second chance :

1. Oktoberfest.

2. Oktoberfest-beer.

3. BMW.

4. VW.

5. Audi.

6. Mercedes.

7. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail

in any other country of the world.

8. You do not have to learn German as a foreign language.

9. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.

10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet).

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ENGLISH :

1. Two World Wars and One World Cup.

2. Warm beer.

3. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.

4. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.

5. Union jack underpants.

6. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

7. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.

9. Ditto changing underwear.

10. Beats being Welsh.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SCOTTISH :

1. You ain't English!

2. You ain't English!

3. You ain't English!

4. You ain't English!

5. You ain't English!

6. You ain't English!

7. You ain't English!

8. You ain't English!

9. You ain't English!

10. You ain't English!

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH :

1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING IRISH :

1. Guinness.

2. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.

3. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.

4. Pubs never close.

5. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican

Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex

with a condom on.

6. No one can ever remember the night before.

7. Kill people you don't agree with.

8. Stew.

9. More Guinness.

10. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the

morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING FRENCH :

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.

2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time

3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.

4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.

5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on

Channel 4.

6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.

7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.

8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street

humiliating your sense of national pride.

9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just **** in the street.

10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AMERICAN :

1. You can have a woman president without electing her.

2. You can spell color wrong and get away with it.

3. You can call Budweiser beer.

4. You can be a crook and still be president.

5. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.

6. If you can breathe you can get a gun.

7. You get to be really obese.

8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made and nobody

seems to care.

9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".

10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING NORWEGIAN :

1. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.

2. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.

3. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour

ozone-hole radiation the other half.

4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.

5. You can go skiing in your knickers.

6. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.

7. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.

8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing -

its fairly spacious.

9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about

killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.

10. You can actually get bored with blondes.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING ITALIAN :

1. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.

2. Unembarrassed to wear fur.

3. No need to worry about tax returns.

4. Glorious military history prior to 400BC.

5. Can wear sunglasses inside.

6. Political stability.

7. Flexible working hours.

8. Live near the Pope.

9. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.

10. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING SPANISH :

1. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.

2. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.

3. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.

4. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.

5. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.

6. Honesty.

7. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight

clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.

8. You get to eat bull's testicles.

9. Gibraltar.

10. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING INDIAN :

1. Chicken Madras.

2. Lamb Passanda.

3. Onion Bhaji.

4. Bombay Potato.

5. Chicken Tikka Masala.

6. Rogan Josh.

7. Popadoms.

8. Chicken Dopiaza.

9. Kingfisher lager.

10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :

1. It beats being an American.

2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity

ratings will rise.

7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their

skins.

9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.

10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING AUSTRALIAN :

1. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bar steward that no

civilized nation on earth wanted.

2. Fosters Lager.

3. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40,000

years because you think it belongs to you.

4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.

5. Tact and sensitivity.

6. Bondi Beach.

7. Other beaches.

8. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.

9. Drinking cold lager on the beach.

10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING GREEK :

1. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture

most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.

2. The police is even more corrupt than the criminals they are

supposed to be chasing.

3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the

thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around

wretching their stomach contents up at the sight.

4. Old women can sport moustaches.

5. Young women can sport moustaches.

6. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in

a zoo.

7. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of

the world sees it as an instrument of torture.

8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to

let everyone else around the world know about it

9. Ridiculous bureaucracy.

10. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING WELSH :

1. You've got to be having a laugh, haven't you?

my fav :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

Edited by spiegel
Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/247735-top-10-reasons-for/
Share on other sites
Grand Master

theyarecomingforyou

Posted
Posted
TOP 10 REASONS FOR BEING CANADIAN :

...

2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

...

4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

...

7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

...

10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

LMAO!!!! :laugh:

Veteran

peterish

Posted
Posted

Top 10 Reasons for being a NEW YORKER

1. You are able to find a cab driver that speaks your language no matter where you are from.

2. There are at least 5 billion convenience stores on every block.

3. People drive like they live in Germany.

4. If you drive faster than the car next to you then you get called a maniac, if you drive slower than the car next to you you get called an idiot.

5. You can walk 2 blocks from any given rich neighborhood and you will be in a ghetto.

6. You enjoy the largest subway system in the world.

7. You enjoy the dirtiest subway system in the world.

8. You enjoy the most gridlocked highways in the world.

9. You can pronounce it 'Nuu Yook'. And only you get to pronounce it as such.

10. There are at least 5 billion singing hobos on every block.

NYC pwns !! ^^

Mentor

Caboose447

Posted
Posted
2,4,7,10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to

the ground.

I love that! Just goes to show you that eventho everyone loves us, we can stull do some really awesome **** that everyone but the American's remember! I wonder if its in their history books!

This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Posts

    • Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 8, Flip 8, Z Fold Wide: Everything you need to know

      By The Werewolf · Posted

      Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 8, Flip 8, Z Fold Wide: Everything you need to know The ONLY thing I need to know is the price, which I know will be way higher than I (and most people) are willing to pay for a phone... so basically nothing here I need to know. PS: Nice job getting that Apple reference to a non-existent and unrevealed product as "competition" in there. Cheque is in the mail.
    • AMD 9070XT

      By Steven P. · Posted

      Well I really think the repasting helped if your higher clocks have returned, maybe the next thing to look at is if there is a problem with your case airflow? I guess this because your 3080 has returned to optimal state, but is still staying too warm, which might suggest it was thermal throttling before you repasted, of which the only logical conclusion could be outside factors.
    • The official Funny Pictures thread

      By Steven P. · Posted

    • Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 8, Flip 8, Z Fold Wide: Everything you need to know

      By Hamid Ganji · Posted

      Samsung Galaxy Z Fold 8, Flip 8, Z Fold Wide: Everything you need to know by Hamid Ganji Galaxy Z Fold 7 - Image via Samsung The next generation of Samsung foldables is set to be unveiled next month at the second Unpacked event of the year. Samsung’s 2026 foldables are not expected to offer significant upgrades over their predecessors, with the Korean firm instead focusing on design refinements and conventional upgrades such as faster processors and better cameras. However, Samsung is reportedly planning to unveil an all-new passport-style foldable this year to rival Apple’s first foldable iPhone, which is expected to debut this September. Here’s a roundup of everything we know about Samsung’s upcoming foldable devices ahead of their official debut. When can we expect Samsung’s new foldables? The Galaxy Z Fold 7 and Z Flip 7 series were unveiled in July, and Samsung is expected to maintain this timeframe in 2026. Based on previous reports from Korean sources, Samsung will hold its Unpacked event on July 22 in London, UK, to pull back the curtain on the Galaxy Z Fold 8 series. The devices are also expected to hit the shelves a few weeks after launch. However, Samsung has yet to announce an official date. A new naming scheme? One of the most interesting changes we might see this year is a new naming scheme for Samsung’s latest foldables. SamMobile reported that since Samsung is expected to unveil three foldables this year, it has adopted a new naming strategy to simplify product identification for customers. Accordingly, the standard Galaxy Z Fold 8 will reportedly be called the Galaxy Z Fold 8 Ultra and will serve as the direct successor to last year’s Galaxy Z Fold 7. The “Ultra” suffix suggests the phone could feature higher-end specifications, such as additional rear camera modules. Samsung’s new passport-style foldable is expected to carry the Galaxy Z Fold 8 name without any suffix. This model is reportedly equipped with two rear cameras. No major changes are expected for the Flip model. Galaxy Z Fold 8 Ultra and Z Flip 8 anticipated specs Rumors over the past few months suggest Samsung is preparing several upgrades for its upcoming foldables, although the devices may continue to rely on larger batteries and faster charging speeds rather than dramatic design changes. The primary focus this year is expected to be the Galaxy Z Fold 8 and its wide-screen design. Galaxy Z Fold 8 Ultra official CAD renders - Image via AndroidHeadlines Here are the anticipated specifications for the Galaxy Z Fold 8 Ultra based on previous leaks: 6.5-inch outer display and 8-inch inner display, 120Hz refresh rate, and 2,600 nits peak brightness Snapdragon 8 Elite Gen 5 processor, paired with 12GB or 16GB of RAM and 256GB, 512GB, or 1TB of storage 4.1mm thickness when unfolded and a weight of 210g 200MP main camera, 50MP ultrawide camera, 10MP or 12MP telephoto camera, 10MP cover camera, and 10MP selfie camera 5,000mAh battery with 45W wired charging Android 17 and One UI 9 As for the Galaxy Z Flip 8, the device is not expected to be a major departure from its predecessor, although it could become slightly slimmer. Expected specifications include: Snapdragon 8 Elite Gen 5 or Exynos 2600 processor 12GB of RAM with 256GB and 512GB storage options 6.9-inch Dynamic AMOLED 2X inner dispaly and 4.1-inch Super AMOLED outer dispaly 50MP main camera, 12MP ultrawide camera, and 10MP selfie camera 4,300mAh battery with 25W wired charging Android 17 and One UI 9 Samsung’s foldables are also expected to launch with Gemini Intelligence, Google’s AI suite for automating tasks in Android ecosystem. Moreover, given current memory and component costs, some Galaxy Z Fold 8 Ultra and Z Flip 8 variants could see a price hike. Galaxy Z Fold 8 adopts a wide-screen design The centerpiece of the upcoming Unpacked event could be the Galaxy Z Fold 8, previously rumored as the Galaxy Z Fold Wide. This model adopts a passport-style form factor and is expected to compete directly with Apple’s iPhone Fold. Galaxy Z Fold 8 official CAD renders - Image via AndroidHeadlines Here’s what to expect: 7.6-inch primary OLED display and 5.4-inch cover display, 120Hz refresh rate, 2,600 nits peak brightness, and 4:3 aspect ratio Snapdragon 8 Elite Gen 5 processor, 12GB or 16GB of RAM, and 256GB, 512GB, or 1TB storage options 4,800mAh battery with 45W wired charging 50MP main camera, 50MP ultrawide camera, and 10MP selfie camera Android 17 and One UI 9 The three new foldable phones are unlikely to be the only devices unveiled at Samsung’s Unpacked event. The company is also expected to introduce the Galaxy Watch Ultra 2 and the Galaxy Watch 9 series.
    • Dopamine 3.0.6

      By Jaybonaut · Posted

      Thanks

  • Recent Achievements

    • Week One Done
      rolfus earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Month Later
      Leroy Jethro Gibbs earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Conversation Starter
      flexorcist earned a badge
      Conversation Starter
    • One Month Later
      AndreaB earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • One Month Later
      agatameier earned a badge
      One Month Later

  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      505
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      196
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      141
    4. 4
      ATLien_0
      89
    5. 5
      Steven P.
      81
    Show More

  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!