[NBA] Draft

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1. Milwaukee Bucks: With Larry Harris, the Bucks general manager and son of Del Harris, at the console, Milwaukee selected 7-foot Utah center Andrew Bogut. The Bucks also were very fond of North Carolina freshman forward Marvin Williams, whose realized potential could enable Larry's hair to change color with more ferocity than did his father's.

Bogut will arrive in Wisconsin from Salt Lake City, via Australia and Serbia. It is widely accepted that his travel agent is Ricky Williams.

Like a weekend in Milwaukee, Andrew has the potential to be good, but probably not great.

2. Atlanta Hawks: The Hawks were prepared to fortify their already-solid three position by selecting Marvin Williams, but panicked after being informed of the five-second rule.

Could Chris Paul really go as high as No. 2?

(Chuck Burton / Associated Press)

Chris Paul has fewer syllables, so the Hawks selected the Wake Forest point guard, who also may be a wonderful fit. Paul will be welcomed in Georgia after Hawks fans are reminded that he once punched North Carolina State rival Julius Hodge below the Mason-Dixon Line.

3. Portland Trail Blazers: The Blazers were hoping to trade down and select hot-shooting prep small forward Martell Webster. Unable to finalize a deal in five seconds, they selected Houston prep small forward Gerald Green because Internet sharpies advised them that this was the way to go.

With Sebastian Telfair, Travis Outlaw and Darius Miles already in the fold, the embattled Blazer personnel crew is hoping to field a team that's too young to be allowed in nightclubs.

4. New Orleans: Despite having No. 1-pick talent, Marvin Williams has left leave Carolina and landed in the Big Easy ... just like the team. Hornets fans have heard that Marvin is a bigger, more athletic version of Jamal Mashburn. He proved it by tripping on his way to meet Commissioner Stern.

5. Charlotte: The ex-expansion Bobcats satisfied their need for a young playmaker by selecting Deron Williams of Illinois. Williams has been accused of being Jason Kidd without the speed, which is sort of like being a Big Mac without the meat.

But you still can't go wrong in hiring a guy named Williams for a hoop job in Carolina.

6. Utah: Although they were hoping to pluck the next John Stockton from a deep point-guard pool, the Jazz selected New Mexico small forward Danny Granger. Some fans believed Carolina point guard Raymond Felton would have been a stellar choice, but his shorts were just too darned baggy for Coach Jerry Sloan's liking.

Granger, by the way, may be good enough to make Jazz fans forget about Kirk Snyder.

7. Toronto: Even though And 1 Mixed Tape Tour superstar Rafer "Skip To My Lou" Alston has a nice Raptors contract, Coach Sam Mitchell doesn't like him much as his point guard. So the Raps' choice was the aforementioned Felton, who led the nation in Assist-to-Dick Vitale-Seizure ratio.

8. New York: The Knicks were all set to select Arizona big man Channing Frye when Larry Brown called to offer his advice. Knicks president Isiah Thomas put Larry on hold with one second to spare and took Frye anyway. Brown was fine with the pick after learning that Arizona is not a foreign country.

9. Golden State: The Warriors were interested in Arizona State short power forward Ike Diogu after realizing he could become the next Udonis Haslem.

They became less interested after realizing that Adonal Foyle may not be as good as Shaquille O'Neal. The pick was 6-foot-10 Spaniard Fran Vazquez.

10. Los Angeles Lakers: The Lakers were considering Webster until someone reminded them that with Phil Jackson back on board, this Webster-Jackson alignment would conjure the days of Emmanuel Lewis and The Gloved One.

With Chris Mihm going in and out of comas and Vlade Divac wearing 30 pounds of nicotine patches, the Lakers selected rising 7-foot high schooler Andrew Bynum.

11. Orlando: Webster became the second prep hotshot taken by the Magic in the last two drafts. Last year's first overall pick, Dwight Howard, might have been Rookie of the Year if Orlando had traded ball hog Cuttino Mobley before the season began. His replacement, Doug Christie, won't keep Webster off the floor, back a whack on the noodle by the purse of Christie's wife might.

12. Los Angeles Clippers: The Clippers made a promise to young Russian forward Yaroslav Korolev ? a promise to not draft him. Instead, they chose Texas A&M shooting guard Antoine Wright, who ? according to wise guy critics ? may be as close as they come to drafting the right player.

13. Charlotte: The Bobcats grabbed Connecticut big man Charlie Villanueva, who already is a proven backup to Rookie of the Year Emeka Okafor.

14. Minnesota: Instead of selecting a big stiff to supplant their bigger stiff in the middle, the T-Wolves drafted Oklahoma State small forward Joey Graham. Graham, a splendid player and perhaps the draft's top athlete, dropped after allowing twin brother Stevie to take his place in workouts for a few lottery teams. Just kidding ... maybe.

15. New Jersey: After conferring with Yankees employees in Tampa, George Steinbrenner advised the Nets to draft Syracuse forward Hakim Warrick. Which they did.

You try saying Martynas Andriuskevicius five times fast.

(Fabio Bozzani / Getty Images)

16. Toronto: The Raptors attempted to select Euro big man Martynas Andriuskevicius, but forfeited the pick after failing to pronounce his name within five seconds.

17. Indiana: With Reggie Miller in retirement, the Pacers landed another lights-out shooter with large ears in Louisville's Francisco Garcia.

18. Boston: Speaking quickly, the Celtics took Andriuskevicius.

19. Memphis: Talent king Jerry West selected N.C. State guard Julius Hodge after making sure Hodge's ability to stay low on defense had nothing to do with that low blow from Chris Paul.

20. Denver: The Nuggets were going to grab Korolev in a bid to prove that taking Euro bust Nikoloz Tskitishvili was no fluke, but took Carolina's Sean May instead.

21. Phoenix: The Suns selected Diogu, hoping Ike can convince ASU's five season-ticket holders to buy seats at America West Arena.

22. Denver: The Nuggets selected prep big man Andray Blatche hoping that he, like a guy they recently drafted out of Brazil, eventually will go by one cool name. Blatche. Yeah.

23. Sacramento: The Kings drafted Kansas power forward Wayne Simien, who insists he really doesn't care about the soul-food deficiency in the Sacramento metro area.

24. Houston: The Rockets took Georgia Tech point guard Jarrett Jack, who reminds people of Chauncey Billups when Chauncey isn't shooting well.

25. Seattle: The Sonics nabbed long Croatian point guard Roko Ukic, hoping the city's younger demographic will mistake his name for that of a really cool band or coffee drink.

26. Detroit: After falling farther and faster than your mother-in-law's chin, Pittsburgh biggie Chris Taft was drafted to back up Darko Milicic.

27. Utah: Another big fall was taken by Carolina shooting guard Rashad McCants, who was selected by Jazz officials wanting to see how quickly Sloan kicks him out of a practice.

28. San Antonio: The Spurs took 7-foot Johan Petro from France to console Tony Parker when Longoria dumps him for a skateboarding champion.

29. Miami: The Heat selected high school guard Monta Ellis, who will be ready to contribute when Shaq reaches 400 pounds. That could mean they'll have to rush him.

30. New York: With only seven shooting guards on the camp roster, Isiah Thomas, drafted high school shooting guard C.J. Miles

NBA Draft, in two quick minutes

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The Celtics got Gerald Green at 18 and Ryan Gomes at 50...I dont know who that guy is..


Ryan Gomes was an absolute STEAL at 50. That guy was a great college basketball player, it's too bad his Providence teams had to deal with Syracuse and Carmelo, UCONN and Okafor, and Pitt and Karl Krauser et al. I love Gomes, I wish big time that the Warriors would have picked him up instead of Monta Ellis.

One of the best memories of college basketball recently was when Gomes played his last home game of his career (he played all 4 years...still could have been a lottery pick in 2004). When he was subbed out at the end of the game he took his shoes and left them on the court; if anyone watches wrestling (greco-roman, freestyle, etc.) then they know this means the guy is finished with his career and left everything on the floor. That's Gomes right there. The guy was a man.

Anyway, I like the Warriors picking Ike Diogu. I'm not too sure about the other 2 picks in Monta Ellis and Chris Taft. We have a good backcourt with Baron Davis and Jason Richardson starting and Derek Fisher and Mickael Pietrus on the bench, so I have no idea where Ellis will get some time. Chris Taft was inconsistent in college, he should have stayed another year at least at Pitt. He won't get much PT. Gomes was the pick there, I think.

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Taft went to high school (Xaverian) near me and a few guys I know were classmates of his. I hear he's rather egotistical. Coming out this early may support that claim. The guy is definitely NOT ready for the NBA. He was so inconsistent in Pitt's big games against UConn and Syracuse. I'd be surprised if he contributes much, if anything at all, in his first year.

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