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College Football is Back!


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College Football is back........

(1) What does the average Univ. of Michigan player get on his SATs?

.........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?

..........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?

.........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get a Florida State graduate off your porch?

..........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?

.........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.

(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?

.....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Miami (Fla) football player's life?

..........His freshman year.

(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

..........None. That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?

......... Durham, North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?

.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

:laugh: :rofl:

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In honor of the Va Tech game at WVU I thought I would share these:

Why did WVU rise in the rankings this week?

....The sportswriters and coaches considered "BYE" as tougher than any other opponent WVU has faced.

How do you make Wahoo cookies?

....Put them in a big bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Why doesn't WVU have ice on the sidelines?

....The guy with the recipe graduated last year.

What do you get when you drive slowly by the WVU campus?

....A degree.

Why is it that the WVU football teams doesn't have a web site?

...They can't sting three "W's" together.

Recently, A WVU football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

....He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.

Johnny says to his Mother: "I want to be a Mountaineer when I grow up".

...Mom says: But Johnny, you can't do both.

What is the difference between a Mountaineer and Rice Crispies?

....Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Why don't Mountaineers let their kids play in sand boxes?

....Because the cats keep covering them up.

Why do Mountaineers keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

....So they can park in handicap spaces.

What is Blue, Gold, 100 yards wide, and has 2 teeth?

....The front row at Mountaineer Stadium.

What do you call an attractvie girl on the WVU campus?

....A Visitor.

What did the WVU graduate say to the VT grad upon meeting?

....Hi! Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order please?

Did you hear about the power outage at the WVU library?

....Forty Mountaineers were stuck on the escalator for three hours!

Did you hear about the fire in the WVU library that destroyed all the books?

....The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

What do a WVU student and a Va Tech student have in common?

...They both got accepted to WVU.

:laugh: :rofl:

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/\ haha I hope not...I have alot of close friends who graduated from WVU and they would rub it in really good. I love a good WVU/Tech game...they're usually really good games.

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I just got another one....

UVA football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

Head Coach Al Groh immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

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haha alright 3 more and I'm going to bed....

George Welsh, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded UVA flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, George," said God. "This is very special - not everyone gets a house up here."

George felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Burgundy and Orange sidewalk, 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Virginia Tech logo flag, and in every window, VT curtains.

George looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a darn good coach, I won several bowl games, and I even went to the College Football Hall of Fame."

God said, "So what do you want to know, George?"

"Well, why does Frank Beamer get a better house than me?"

God chuckled and said, "George, that's not Frank Beamer's house......

It's mine."

What's the difference between a Michigan fan and a carp?

- One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Virginia Tech is playing at UVA, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. A UVA fan sets off a firecracker, and Virginia Tech, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field.

- Three plays later,UVA punts.

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