College Football is Back!


Recommended Posts

College Football is back........

(1) What does the average Univ. of Michigan player get on his SATs?

.........Drool.

(2) What do you get when you put 32 West Virginia cheerleaders in one room?

..........A full set of teeth.

(3) How do you get a Nebraska cheerleader into your dorm room?

.........Grease her hips and push.

(4) How do you get a Florida State graduate off your porch?

..........Pay him for the pizza.

(5) How do you know if an Alabama football player has a girlfriend?

.........There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup.

(6) Why is the Kentucky football team like a possum?

.....Because they play dead at home and get killed on the road.

(7) What are the longest three years of a Miami (Fla) football player's life?

..........His freshman year.

(8) How many Oklahoma freshmen does it take to change a light bulb?

..........None. That's a sophomore course.

(9) Where was O. J. headed in the white Bronco?

......... Durham, North Carolina . He knew that the police would never look at Duke for a Heisman Trophy winner.

AND FINALLY (drum roll and cymbal crash.....)

(10) Why did Tennessee choose orange as their team color?

.........You can wear it to the game on Saturday, hunting on Sunday, and picking up trash along the highways the rest of the week.

:laugh: :rofl:

Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/378584-college-football-is-back/
Share on other sites

In honor of the Va Tech game at WVU I thought I would share these:

Why did WVU rise in the rankings this week?

....The sportswriters and coaches considered "BYE" as tougher than any other opponent WVU has faced.

How do you make Wahoo cookies?

....Put them in a big bowl and beat for 3 hours.

Why doesn't WVU have ice on the sidelines?

....The guy with the recipe graduated last year.

What do you get when you drive slowly by the WVU campus?

....A degree.

Why is it that the WVU football teams doesn't have a web site?

...They can't sting three "W's" together.

Recently, A WVU football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback-riding accident.

....He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.

Johnny says to his Mother: "I want to be a Mountaineer when I grow up".

...Mom says: But Johnny, you can't do both.

What is the difference between a Mountaineer and Rice Crispies?

....Rice Crispies know what to do in a bowl.

Why don't Mountaineers let their kids play in sand boxes?

....Because the cats keep covering them up.

Why do Mountaineers keep their diplomas on their dashboards?

....So they can park in handicap spaces.

What is Blue, Gold, 100 yards wide, and has 2 teeth?

....The front row at Mountaineer Stadium.

What do you call an attractvie girl on the WVU campus?

....A Visitor.

What did the WVU graduate say to the VT grad upon meeting?

....Hi! Welcome to McDonald's. May I take your order please?

Did you hear about the power outage at the WVU library?

....Forty Mountaineers were stuck on the escalator for three hours!

Did you hear about the fire in the WVU library that destroyed all the books?

....The real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet.

What do a WVU student and a Va Tech student have in common?

...They both got accepted to WVU.

:laugh: :rofl:

I just got another one....

UVA football practice was delayed nearly two hours today after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery substance on the practice field.

Head Coach Al Groh immediately suspended practice while police and federal investigators were called to investigate. After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the white substance unknown to the players was the goal line.

Practice was resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to encounter the substance again.

haha alright 3 more and I'm going to bed....

George Welsh, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God was showing him around. They came to a modest little house with a faded UVA flag in the window. "This house is yours for eternity, George," said God. "This is very special - not everyone gets a house up here."

George felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story mansion with a Burgundy and Orange sidewalk, 50 foot tall flagpole with an enormous Virginia Tech logo flag, and in every window, VT curtains.

George looked at God and said, "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I have a question. I was a darn good coach, I won several bowl games, and I even went to the College Football Hall of Fame."

God said, "So what do you want to know, George?"

"Well, why does Frank Beamer get a better house than me?"

God chuckled and said, "George, that's not Frank Beamer's house......

It's mine."

What's the difference between a Michigan fan and a carp?

- One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Virginia Tech is playing at UVA, which has a first down with three minutes left in the half. A UVA fan sets off a firecracker, and Virginia Tech, thinking it's the end of the half, runs off the field.

- Three plays later,UVA punts.

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • @Sayan...I have defended you at various points as I hope you know. This headline however is utter trash...shame on you sir!
    • An actual cosmic "Eye of Sauron" had been looking straight at us all along by Sayan Sen Image by Kovin P. Vasquez via Pexels | Not representative An international team of researchers has solved a long-standing mystery surrounding a distant blazar known as PKS 1424+240, helping explain why it produces some of the brightest high-energy gamma rays and cosmic neutrinos ever observed despite appearing to have a relatively slow-moving jet. The findings were published on June 6 in Astronomy & Astrophysics Letters. The study addresses a broader challenge in astrophysics: understanding how extreme cosmic objects accelerate particles to very high energies and produce very high-energy (VHE) photons and neutrinos. PKS 1424+240 is located billions of light-years from Earth. It has attracted attention for years because it is both a powerful source of VHE gamma rays and the brightest known neutrino-emitting blazar in the sky, according to observations by the IceCube Neutrino Observatory. It is also associated with one of the strongest peaks in IceCube's nine-year neutrino sky map A blazar is a type of active galactic nucleus powered by a supermassive black hole that pulls in surrounding matter and launches jets of plasma moving close to the speed of light. What makes blazars unique is their orientation. One of their jets points almost directly toward Earth, making them appear exceptionally bright across the electromagnetic spectrum and allowing scientists to study some of the most extreme physical processes in the Universe. The scientists exclaimed it's like the 'Eye of Sauron' in deep space. Usually, the brightest gamma-ray-emitting blazars are expected to have jets that appear to move very quickly. However, radio observations of PKS 1424+240 suggested that its jet was moving much more slowly, creating a contradiction that became part of a long-running problem known as the "Doppler factor crisis." To investigate, researchers analyzed 15 years of observations from the Very Long Baseline Array (VLBA), a network of 10 radio antennas spread across the continental United States, Hawaii and St. Croix. Using a technique called Very Long Baseline Interferometry (VLBI), astronomers combine signals from widely separated radio telescopes to create a virtual Earth-sized telescope capable of revealing extremely fine details. The team combined 42 polarization-sensitive radio images collected between 2009 and 2025, creating a much deeper and more detailed view of the jet than had previously been possible. The observations were carried out as part of MOJAVE (Monitoring Of Jets in Active galactic nuclei with VLBA Experiments), a long-running program that studies the brightness, polarization and magnetic field structures of jets produced by active galaxies. The project aims to better understand how activity near supermassive black holes is linked to high-energy radiation and neutrino emission. “When we reconstructed the image, it looked absolutely stunning,” said Yuri Kovalev, lead author of the study and Principal Investigator of the European Research Council-funded MuSES project at the Max Planck Institute for Radio Astronomy. “We have never seen anything quite like it — a near-perfect toroidal magnetic field with a jet, pointing straight at us.” The image revealed an unusual geometry. The researchers found that Earth lies almost directly in line with the jet, with a viewing angle of less than 0.6 degrees. In simple terms, astronomers are looking almost straight down the jet. This turned out to be the key to the mystery. Because the jet is aimed almost directly at Earth, a relativistic effect called Doppler boosting dramatically increases its apparent brightness. The study found that this effect boosts the emission by a factor of about 30 while also making the jet appear slower than it actually is. “This alignment causes a boost in brightness by a factor of 30 or more,” said Jack Livingston, a co-author at the Max Planck Institute for Radio Astronomy. “At the same time, the jet appears to move slowly due to projection effects — a classic optical illusion.” The nearly head-on view also gave scientists a rare look at the jet's magnetic field. Using polarized radio signals, they detected a clear toroidal, or doughnut-shaped, magnetic field component. The observations suggest the jet carries an electric current and that its magnetic field helps launch, shape and stabilize the flow of plasma. Researchers believe this magnetic structure may also play a key role in accelerating particles to energies high enough to produce both gamma rays and neutrinos. “Solving this puzzle confirms that active galactic nuclei with supermassive black holes are not only powerful accelerators of electrons, but also of protons — the origin of the observed high-energy neutrinos,” Kovalev said. The research was conducted under the MuSES (Multi-messenger Studies of Energetic Sources) project, which investigates how active galactic nuclei accelerate particles and generate different cosmic signals, including light and neutrinos. Scientists say understanding how protons are accelerated and linked to neutrino production remains one of the major unanswered questions in astrophysics. The findings help explain why some blazars can appear to have slow jets while still producing extremely bright high-energy emissions. More broadly, the study strengthens the link between relativistic jets, magnetic fields, gamma rays and high-energy neutrinos. Researchers say the results provide new clues about how some of the Universe's most powerful natural particle accelerators work and offer important insights for multimessenger astronomy, which combines different types of cosmic signals to study extreme events in space. Source: European Research Council, EDP Sciences This article was generated with some help from AI and reviewed by an editor. Under Section 107 of the Copyright Act 1976, this material is used for the purpose of news reporting. Fair use is a use permitted by copyright statute that might otherwise be infringing.
    • Gotenks98 is right... Outlook (new) is absolute trash. Doesn't Mozilla have an Enterprise Version of Firebird?
    • Microsoft Weekly: Surface Laptop Ultra, Windows 11 context menus, Build 2026 recap, and more by Taras Buria This week's news recap is here, with Microsoft announcing the new Surface Laptop Ultra, fresh chips from NVIDIA for Windows on ARM, a no-build week, fixes for Windows 11's context menus, gaming news, reviews, and more. Quick links: Windows 10 and 11 Windows Insider Program Updates are available Reviews are in Gaming news Great deals to check Windows 11 and Windows 10 Here, we talk about everything happening around Microsoft's latest operating system in the Stable channel and preview builds: new features, removed features, controversies, bugs, interesting findings, and more. And, of course, you may find a word or two about older versions. At Computex 2026, together with NVIDIA, Microsoft announced the Surface Laptop Ultra, its most powerful laptop to date, powered by NVIDIA's RTX Spark processor. Details about this computer are currently scarce, as Microsoft has only revealed certain parts of its specs. So far, we know that the computer has a 15-inch mini-LED display, a rich set of ports, a powerful processor, and all-day battery life. It also comes with a new wallpaper, which you can already download here in full resolution. The Surface Laptop Studio is not the only NVIDIA-powered Surface, which Microsoft unveiled this week. At Build 2026, the company also debuted the Surface RTX Spark Dev Box, an odd-shaped desktop with a 20-core NVIDIA Grace CPU and an NVIDIA Blackwell RTX GPU with 6,144 CUDA cores and fifth-generation Tensor Cores with FP4 precision, connected via the NVIDIA NVLink-C2C chip-to-chip interconnect for high performance. According to Microsoft, it can run models with up to 120 billion parameters locally without relying on cloud GPU infrastructure. These two new Surface devices are likely to cost quite a lot, and for those who need a more affordable device, Microsoft is preparing the next-gen Qualcomm-powered Surface Pro and Surface Laptop. This week, details about these two devices leaked in plenty of detail. Other announcements at Build 2026 include the following: Microsoft unveils new security tools for IT admins and developers building AI products Microsoft announces Scout, an OpenClaw-powered personal agent for enterprise customers Microsoft unveils MAI-Thinking-1 reasoning and MAI-Code-1 coding models Microsoft announced a new Windows 11 native command-line utility Microsoft unveils Majorana 2 quantum chip, accelerating commercial timeline to 2029 Microsoft believes that AI agents will eventually replace apps through Project Solara Microsoft introduces Web IQ, a Bing-powered search system built for AI agents Last week, Microsoft released a new Experimental build, which introduced a major Start menu upgrade. It now lets you toggle off specific parts of the menu without affecting other features, resize the menu, and hide additional UI elements. We published a closer look here, so if you want to know what Microsoft is cooking without enrolling in the Insider program and installing unstable builds, check it out. Speaking of new features, many users are very annoyed about the way Microsoft delivers them. Recently, a frustrated user shared their experience with gradual rollouts, and even Microsoft engineers admitted there is a flaw in the system that prevents new features from applying properly. One of those new features includes the ability to uninstall AI models in Windows 11 with a single click. Windows 11 is finally getting fixes for its slow context menus. Marcus Ash from Microsoft confirmed that the company is working on fixing Windows 11's context menus. Reworked context menus are going to be faster, simpler by default, and "configurable to what you use most." According to Marcus, Microsoft will share more details soon. Windows Insider Program Windows 11 preview builds, released last week, are now available for download as standalone ISO files. These days, Microsoft regularly pushes new images, allowing users to clean-install its recent Windows 11 preview builds faster and easier. If you want to try the latest Windows 11 features without jumping through the Windows Update hoops, get those new images here. Sadly, Microsoft did not release new Windows 11 preview builds this week. Come back next time. Updates are available This section covers software, firmware, and other notable updates (released and coming soon) delivering new features, security fixes, improvements, patches, and more from Microsoft and third parties. Microsoft is preparing new features for Teams. Later this month, the messenger will receive a new download manager with auto-dismissing notifications, reducing clutter and making the overall experience less annoying when dealing with downloads. Mozilla released Firefox 151.0.3, a new bug-fixing update for the browser. It is a small release, which fixes problems with pasting into text fields and the oversized VPN button on the toolbar. The update is now available for all users in the Release channel. Here are other updates and releases you may find interesting: VS Code 1.123 introduces massive upgrades for persistent AI developer workflows Microsoft OneDrive is getting a simple yet much-needed feature Microsoft faces heat after quietly blocking promised Office features on Apple systems Microsoft resumes forced Copilot app installation on some Windows PCs Browser vendors pen an open letter to Microsoft, saying "enough is enough" Here are the latest drivers and firmware updates released this week: AMD Radeon Software 26.6.1 with optimizations for F1 25: 2026 Season, World of Tanks: HEAT, and various bug fixes. Reviews are in Here is the hardware and software we reviewed this week Steven Parker dropped more mini PC reviews this week. GEEKOM Air12 2026 Edition is a low-power, affordable computer with an Intel Tiger Lake Pentium Gold processor, up to 16GB of memory, and 512GB of storage, costing just $349. It is light, quiet, energy efficient, and has modern ports on the front. However, the front-facing USB Type-C is data-only, and there are some quirks with the computer's memory, so check out the full review. The AMD RX 9070 GRE has been released worldwide, and we published a benchmark review comparing this powerful graphics card to the RX 9070 XT, 7800 XT, the NVIDIA RTX 5070, and RTX 4070. It has solid, balanced performance, plenty of RAM, and low temperatures, but watch out for mediocre ray tracing performance and not the best efficiency. Also, we reviewed the Cuktech 10 Ultra, a compact, high-power charger with four ports and a big display full of various stats. This tiny charger can pull nearly 120W and spread that power according to each connected device's needs. It also comes with a high-quality 240W cable, three power modes, and retractable prongs. The best part? It is quite affordable, just make sure you have an outlet placed in the right spot to benefit from the built-in display. On the gaming side Learn about upcoming game releases, Xbox rumors, new hardware, software updates, freebies, deals, discounts, and more. Do you remember the ASUS ROG Xbox Ally, Microsoft's first handheld console designed in partnership with ASUS? This week, ASUS revealed a new version of the device to celebrate twenty years of its Republic of Gamers brand. The new ROG Xbox Ally X20 features an OLED display, a transforming D-Pad, TMR sticks, and other changes. However, the chip inside the console is still the same. Forza Horizon 6 launched last month to critical acclaim, but the game will soon have a new rival made by those who used to work on Forza Horizon titles. Mike Brown from Maverick Games announced Clutch, an upcoming racing game with a story-driven campaign, deep car customization, and rich multiplayer. The game is coming to PC, Xbox Series X|S, and PlayStation 5 in Spring 2027. The next update for Minecraft now has a release date. This week, Mojang announced that Chaos Cubed will be available on June 16, 2026. In addition, Mojang published a teaser of the next Minecraft movie. A Minecraft Movie Squared has now been confirmed for a release somewhere in 2027. NVIDIA GeForce Now is getting 18 new games in June. Those include Jurassic World Evolution 3, Fatekeeper, GOALS, Gothic 1 Remake, NTE: Neverness to Everness, and more. If you are a Game Pass subscriber, you can also get new games soon: Persona 5 Royal, Starseeker: Astroneer Expeditions, and more are coming to the service this month. Sumer Game Fest 2026 happened this week, where we saw plenty of new games, including Alien Isolation 2, Final Fantasy VII Remake Part 3, Gen Atlas from the Shadow of the Colossus creator, a new Cuphead game in 8-bit style, a new expansion for Mafia: The Old Country, and more. Finally, here are this week's Weekend PC Game Deals, full of discounts and the latest freebies from the Epic Games Store. Other gaming news includes the following: God of War Laufey announced, introducing Kratos' wife as the new protagonist Ori studio's No Rest for the Wicked 1.0 release and console plans announced Microsoft launches Godot Sample to streamline Xbox PC game development on the engine Great deals to check Every week, we cover many deals on different hardware and software. The following discounts are still available, so check them out. You might find something you want or need. Samsung 990 PRO SSD 2TB NVMe - $389.99 | 39% off Sonos Sub 4 - Wireless Subwoofer - $759 | 16% off Logitech MX Creative Console - $159.99 | 20% off This link will take you to other issues of the Microsoft Weekly series. You can also support Neowin by registering for a free member account or subscribing for extra member benefits, along with an ad-free tier option.
  • Recent Achievements

    • Reacting Well
      X-No-file earned a badge
      Reacting Well
    • One Month Later
      pestcontrol46 earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Week One Done
      pestcontrol46 earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Week One Done
      JKR earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Rookie
      moog19 went up a rank
      Rookie
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      510
    2. 2
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      276
    3. 3
      Skyfrog
      75
    4. 4
      +Edouard
      71
    5. 5
      FloatingFatMan
      68
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!