Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?

By HellBender
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

 Share

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

Gowcra

Posted
Posted
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

:rofl:

Mentor

sevastopol

Posted
Posted

omg, have u read wot he said bout AMD??

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

Veteran

dotRoot

Posted
Posted
omg, have u read wot he said bout AMD??

585754829[/snapback]

Before this post turns into some hate mongering mindless mass I still feel that it is my duty to again state:

THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE WAS CREATED AS A JOKE TO **** PEOPLE OFF!

See second post. Thank you.

Community Regular

dannybeckett

Posted
Posted
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

What utter bull****! Fine comet cursor and bonzi buddy are annoying but flash?

If your son has requested a new processor from a company called AMD, this is genuine cause for alarm.

What? Why?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.

Yeah and i suppose Uncle Bill and Paul Allen were doing this too?!? Some people enjoy working with computers!!

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you.

What is wrong with quake?

BSD, Linux, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.

What the ****? Linux is perfectly legal!

In order to get rid of it [LINUX], you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Linux is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

WRONG AGAIN!!

WTF is this guy on about??

Mentor

ZTrang

Posted
Posted

It's funny how many people actually think this article is real. Just looking at some of the text links shows that it's obviously a joke (click on them if you have the time - they're hilarious when put in the context of the article). Also, technically "lunix" is not a misspelling - it was at one time a distribution of Linux designed to run on Commodore 64 computers, though I don't know whether it's still being worked upon (more info here: http://lng.sourceforge.net/)

Proficient

Kosh

Posted
Posted

"Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers" :D

omfg

I hope this is just a joke. Or are there really parents who are this STUPID?!?

Well for me: My Mom played computergames since I had my first "Commodore 64".

Later with Windows she discovered Solitaire, and then "Spider Solitaire".

Sometimes it was really hard to get her away from my PC, so I assembled her

her own one. :)

  • 5 months later...
This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Posts

    • Acronyms....

      By WiltshireHam · Posted

      Lilly Livered American Media Are Scared
    • Nothing kills CMF Phone 2 Pro's successor due to rising memory prices

      By Fleet Command · Posted

      Really? Despite the memory price rises, nothing can kill it? I thought something would.
    • Microsoft confirms Windows 11 26H2, urges IT admins to prepare for release

      By xillibit · Posted

      I think there will be a 27H1 for actual users of 26H1 The 25h2 supports ARM too : Snapdragon X, Snapdragon X Plus and Snapdragon X Elite
    • Poll: Grand Theft Auto VI price predictions, cast your vote

      By LoneWolfSL · Posted

      Poll: Grand Theft Auto VI price predictions, cast your vote by Pulasthi Ariyasinghe After years of waiting, Rockstar will be solidifying the launch date of Grand Theft Auto VI with the launch of pre-orders next week. While the studio has confirmed a date for this occasion, it is yet to attach a price to the highly anticipated game. So let's see what our readers think it will cost at launch. The Grand Theft Auto VI pre-orders will kick off on June 25 for digital and physical editions. Unless some last-minute changes happen, the release date will be November 19, 2026, across Xbox Series X|S and PlayStation 5. Unfortunately, there's still no information about a PC version from the developer or the publisher Take-Two. Now the question becomes, how much will Grand Theft Auto VI cost at launch? The game is predicted by some analysts to be the biggest launch of an entertainment product ever. With the amount of hype that has been built behind it and with ballooning development costs, Take-Two may price this Grand Theft Auto entry differently from other AAA titles. The current price of a AAA game is $69.99. That norm almost rose to $79.99 before calming down. But with such a massive release, Grand Theft Auto VI may be the game that pushes the boundary again. It's also possible that Take-Two keeps the price relatively low to increase the number of players that jump in early and keep them hooked on Grand Theft Auto Online to spend on microtransactions for years to come. Keep in mind that the below poll is asking for a prediction of the standard edition price, not a deluxe or any other special edition that Take-Two will introduce for additional benefits. Also, there is the chance of the company splitting up the campaign and online portions. If you think that will happen, put your vote on what you think will be the total cost of the two. Poll Poll: How much will Grand Theft Auto VI cost? $59.99 $69.99 $79.99 $89.99 $100 or more Submit Vote If you have a very specific prediction in mind, sound off in the comments below.
    • Nothing kills CMF Phone 2 Pro's successor due to rising memory prices

      By Lamp0 · Posted

      It was always going to be nothing.

  • Recent Achievements

    • One Year In
      hhgygy earned a badge
      One Year In
    • One Month Later
      AMV earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Week One Done
      AMV earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Collaborator
      ryansurfer98 went up a rank
      Collaborator
    • One Month Later
      Eurosoft10 earned a badge
      One Month Later

  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      513
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      171
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      82
    4. 4
      Steven P.
      74
    5. 5
      Michael Scrip
      72
    Show More

  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!