Is Your Son a Computer Hacker?

By HellBender
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

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Grand Master

Gowcra

Posted
Posted
If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores, and you will most likely be told that you have to order them from internet sites. Do not buy this chip! This is one request that you must refuse your son, if you are to have any hope of raising him well.

:rofl:

Mentor

sevastopol

Posted
Posted

omg, have u read wot he said bout AMD??

BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.

Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.

If you see the word "LILO" during your windows startup (just after you turn the machine on), your son has installed lunix. In order to get rid of it, you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Lunix is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

Veteran

dotRoot

Posted
Posted
omg, have u read wot he said bout AMD??

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Before this post turns into some hate mongering mindless mass I still feel that it is my duty to again state:

THIS ENTIRE WEBSITE WAS CREATED AS A JOKE TO **** PEOPLE OFF!

See second post. Thank you.

Community Regular

dannybeckett

Posted
Posted
Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash".

What utter bull****! Fine comet cursor and bonzi buddy are annoying but flash?

If your son has requested a new processor from a company called AMD, this is genuine cause for alarm.

What? Why?

If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites.

Yeah and i suppose Uncle Bill and Paul Allen were doing this too?!? Some people enjoy working with computers!!

If your son is using Quake, you should make hime understand that this is not acceptable to you.

What is wrong with quake?

BSD, Linux, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War.

What the ****? Linux is perfectly legal!

In order to get rid of it [LINUX], you will have to send your computer back to the manufacturer, and have them fit a new hard drive. Linux is extremely dangerous software, and cannot be removed without destroying part of your hard disk surface.

WRONG AGAIN!!

WTF is this guy on about??

Mentor

ZTrang

Posted
Posted

It's funny how many people actually think this article is real. Just looking at some of the text links shows that it's obviously a joke (click on them if you have the time - they're hilarious when put in the context of the article). Also, technically "lunix" is not a misspelling - it was at one time a distribution of Linux designed to run on Commodore 64 computers, though I don't know whether it's still being worked upon (more info here: http://lng.sourceforge.net/)

Proficient

Kosh

Posted
Posted

"Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers" :D

omfg

I hope this is just a joke. Or are there really parents who are this STUPID?!?

Well for me: My Mom played computergames since I had my first "Commodore 64".

Later with Windows she discovered Solitaire, and then "Spider Solitaire".

Sometimes it was really hard to get her away from my PC, so I assembled her

her own one. :)

  • 5 months later...
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