Most Embarrassing Moment

By it_waaznt_me
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

 Share

Recommended Posts

Collaborator

it_waaznt_me

Posted
Posted

Got this as an email forward :

There was a World wide survey of " Most Embarrassing Moment in human life" and the final three incidents are ....

Third Place

It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, but my parents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for a romantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I give her a piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call, we didn't have time to get dressed. When we got to the bottom of the stairs, the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled "SURPRISE!". My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of my friends were standing there ! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spot in a state of shock and embarrassment ! for what seemed like an eternity. Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again.

Second Place (a lady)

While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release some pent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee(dick) last night!". The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing ! I mustered the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing that I heard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter.

And the Winner Is.....

First place

This one actually happened at HarvardUniversity in October last year. In a biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in male semen, as in sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to add much statistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked, "Then why doesn't it taste sweet?". After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, and never returned. However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was a classic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, "It doesn't taste sweet because the taste-buds ! for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat!"

:rofl: :rofl:

Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/385163-most-embarrassing-moment/
Share on other sites
Grand Master

Denis W. Veteran

Posted
  • Veteran
Posted

LMFAOOOOO!

I've read the third one (first place) through an IRC quote on bash.org, but the other two - OMG :laugh: :laugh:

Second quote: mommy should remember to lock the door after 11 PM, tsk tsk :rofl:

This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Posts

    • Windows 11 is now five years old

      By sagum · Posted

      To be fair, it wasn't going anywhere. Even when Windows Phone could run Android APKs, Google didn't want any of it so it'd never work and the same thing happened with Windows. It was never about the store or it's users, it was always the developers and who they aligned to.
    • Grand Theft Auto VI pricing revealed alongside Ultimate Edition and pre-loading details

      By Setnom · Posted

      Wake me up when this comes to PC. Until then... zzzzzzzz....
    • Grand Theft Auto VI pricing revealed alongside Ultimate Edition and pre-loading details

      By Gotenks98 · Posted

      I was expecting the end of the world to happen before this game or elder scroll 6 to come out.
    • OpenAI and Broadcom unveil Jalapeño, a new AI chip built for LLM inference

      By pradeepviswav · Posted

      OpenAI and Broadcom unveil Jalapeño, a new AI chip built for LLM inference by Pradeep Viswanathan Image by OpenAI Thanks to the exponential growth of ChatGPT and other LLM-based applications, NVIDIA has grown from a $200 billion company into the first public company to reach a $5 trillion market cap. Even though hyperscalers such as Google and Amazon have their own mature AI accelerators, NVIDIA still dominates the AI infrastructure market with multiple generations of GPUs. Microsoft, OpenAI, and Meta remain among NVIDIA’s largest customers, while Google and Amazon continue to be significant NVIDIA customers as they serve AI workloads for customers on their cloud platforms. Today, OpenAI and Broadcom announced Jalapeño, OpenAI’s first custom “Intelligence Processor” designed specifically for large language model inference. The new chip is the first product from a multi-generation compute platform being developed by OpenAI. OpenAI highlighted that Jalapeño was built from the ground up for current and future LLM workloads, rather than being a general-purpose accelerator adapted for AI. Despite heavy competition from Gemini, Claude, Copilot, and others, ChatGPT remains the most used AI platform in the world. OpenAI mentioned that it leveraged its knowledge of how its models and products run at scale, including ChatGPT, Codex, the API, and future agentic AI systems, to design this new chipset. Its chip architecture reduces data movement while balancing compute, memory, and networking resources. Jalapeño will be deployed in production systems starting in late 2026; however, engineering samples are already running machine learning workloads in OpenAI’s labs at production target frequency and power. According to its internal testing, OpenAI claims this chip can deliver “substantially better” performance per watt, and a detailed technical report is expected in the coming months. While OpenAI designed the chip, Broadcom handled silicon implementation and networking technologies, including Tomahawk networking silicon, and Celestica is assisting with board, rack, and system-level integration. OpenAI pointed out that Jalapeño went from initial design to manufacturing tape-out in just nine months, which it claims is the fastest ASIC development cycle achieved for a high-performance advanced semiconductor. The company attributed the speed of development to its own LLMs, which were used during the chip design and optimization process. Broadcom CEO Hock Tan stated that the company's plan is to deploy the Jalapeño platform at a gigawatt scale with Microsoft and other partners starting in 2026. With Jalapeño, OpenAI joins Google, Microsoft, and Amazon to become a full-stack AI player. The company already develops models and products, and is now moving deeper into infrastructure, including chips, kernels, networking, scheduling, and deployment systems.
    • Newegg offers insane combo deal on Amazon Prime Day 2026 that beats Steam Machine

      By seeprime · Posted

      I'm aware. That information should have been included in the article, making it more complete and information.

  • Recent Achievements

    • First Post
      Tom Schmidt earned a badge
      First Post
    • One Month Later
      D0nn13 earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Rookie
      +ChiefOfNeo went up a rank
      Rookie
    • One Year In
      Tom Schmidt earned a badge
      One Year In
    • One Month Later
      Tom Schmidt earned a badge
      One Month Later

  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      448
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      176
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      123
    4. 4
      Michael Scrip
      81
    5. 5
      Xenon
      75
    Show More

  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!