[Joke] Canadians in Hell


Recommended Posts

Two guys from Toronto die and wake up in hell.

The next day the devil stops in to check on them and sees them dressed in parkas, mittens and toques warming themselves around the fire. The devil asks them, "What are you doing? Isn?t it hot enough for you?"

The two guys reply, "Well, you know, we?re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We?re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

The devil decides that these two aren?t miserable enough and turns up the heat.

The next morning he stops in again and there they are, still dressed in parkas, toques and mittens. The devil asks them again, "It?s awfully hot down here, can?t you guys feel it?"

Again the two guys reply, "Well, like we told ya yesterday, we?re from Canada, the land of snow and ice and cold. We?re just happy for a chance to warm up a little bit, eh."

This gets the devil a little steamed up and he decides to fix these two guys. He cranks the heat up as high as it will go. The people are wailing and screaming everywhere. He stops by the room with the two guys from Canada and finds them in light jackets and bucket hats, grilling sausage and drinking beer.

The devil is astonished, "Everyone down here is in abject misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves."

The two Canadians reply, "Well, ya know, we don?t get too much warm weather up there in Toronto so we?ve just got to have a cook-out when the weather?s THIS nice."

The devil is absolutely furious, he can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off in hell.

The next morning, the temperature is below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere; people are shivering so bad that they are unable to do anything but wail, moan and gnash their teeth.

The devil smiles and heads for the room with the two Canadians.

He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, toques, and mittens. NOW they are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men!!!

The devil is dumbfounded, "I don?t understand, when I turn up the heat you?re happy. Now it?s freezing cold and you?re still happy. What is wrong with you two???"

The Torontonians look at the devil in surprise, "Well, don?t you know? If Hell freezes over, it must mean the Leafs have won the Stanley Cup."

Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/515583-joke-canadians-in-hell/
Share on other sites

Nope. i read it once, i read it twice... i still dont get it...

you never heard the saying

"yea that'll happen when hell freezes over"?

Its linked with that.

Obviously the Leafs arnt great, so chances are it aint going to happen, or its as likly to happen as hell freezing over...

Nope. i read it once, i read it twice... i still dont get it...

The Toronto Maple Leafs haven't won the Stanley Cup in the National Hockey League since 1967 but still continue to sell out every game without difficultly. Every year a bunch of hopeful Toronto fans announce that this will be the year but the Leafs are often well back by Christmas.

Now, this year... The Leafs are currently ranked 8 out of 30. That is somewhat surprising considering that most experts assumed (before the season began) that they wouldn't make the playoffs.

Leafs fans are often mocked for wildly celebrating a first round playoff series win (when, in fact, you need to win four such series consecutively to win the Stanley Cup).

That station is a serious rippoff of espn logo

ESPN either partially owns it or they have some sort of deal between them. Notice the "ESPN Classic" link at the top.

Edit:

ESPN owns 30% and there once was a move to rename it ESPN Canada (according to the TSN wiki entry).

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Win11Debloat 2026.06.14 by Razvan Serea Win11Debloat is a lightweight, easy to use PowerShell script that allows you to quickly declutter and customize your Windows experience. It can remove pre-installed bloatware apps, disable telemetry, remove intrusive interface elements and much more. The script also includes many features that system administrators and power users will enjoy. Such as a powerful command-line interface, support for Windows Audit mode and the option to make changes to other Windows users. All changes made by Win11Debloat can be easily reversed, and most removed apps can be restored via the Microsoft Store. A full guide on how to undo the changes is available here. Win11Debloat features: Below is an overview of the key features and functionality offered by Win11Debloat. Please refer to the wiki for more information about the default settings preset. Remove a wide variety of preinstalled apps. Click here for more info. Disable telemetry, diagnostic data, activity history, app-launch tracking & targeted ads. Disable tips, tricks, suggestions & ads across Windows. Disable Windows location services & app location access. Disable Find My Device location tracking. Disable 'Windows Spotlight' and tips & tricks on the lock screen. Disable 'Windows Spotlight' desktop background option. Disable ads, suggestions and the MSN news feed in Microsoft Edge. Hide Microsoft 365 ads on the Settings 'Home' page, or hide the 'Home' page entirely. Disable & remove Microsoft Copilot. Disable Windows Recall. Disable Click to Do, AI text & image analysis tool. Prevent AI service (WSAIFabricSvc) from starting automatically. Disable AI Features in Edge. Disable AI Features in Paint. Disable AI Features in Notepad. Disable the Drag Tray for sharing & moving files. Restore the old Windows 10 style context menu. Turn off Enhance Pointer Precision, also known as mouse acceleration. Disable the Sticky Keys keyboard shortcut. Disable Storage Sense automatic disk cleanup. Disable fast start-up to ensure a full shutdown. ...and more. Once you’ve downloaded the Win11Debloat file (Get.ps1), just follow these quick steps: Locate the Get.ps1 script file. Right-click the file and select Run with PowerShell from the context menu. If prompted by User Account Control (UAC), select Yes to grant the script the necessary administrative permissions. Win11Debloat 2026.06.14 changes: This is a minor release that hopefully addresses the false positives in Windows Defender and Bitdefender that prevented users from downloading and/or running Win11Debloat. Refactor Get-RegFileOperations.ps1 to address false positives by @Raphire in #626 Add logging around WinGet app retrieval and increase timeout to 20s by @Raphire Download: Win11Debloat 2026.06.14 | Open Source View: Win11Debloat Home Page | Screenshots 1| 2 Get alerted to all of our Software updates on Twitter at @NeowinSoftware
    • Still using Microsoft Money 2005 in 2026 here!
    • I have a couple to mention, and they still run great on Windows 11 Adobe Lightroom Version 2 Alcohol 120% CLZ Book, Comic, Game, Movie, & Music Collector (PC - No longer sold / Grandfathered in - now mobile apps/online only) DVDDecrypter ISO Buster Pro version 1.9.1 (Still supports HD-DVD too) Nero Burning Rom 8 (Only the burning software, no backup, media converter, etc)   OpenAL (Runtime) - GuildWars 1 Reforged still uses it for 3d headphone audio PowerDVD 12 Ultra SPTD (SCSI Pass through Direct Driver) UltraISO Windows Media Encoder 9 WinImage You can tell I still sport an optical drive    
    • Linux 7.1 arrives with an NTFS overhaul and major hardware performance boosts by Paul Hill The founder of the Linux kernel has just announced the availability of Linux 7.1. This is a stable version of the kernel that will now be tested by various Linux distributions before it is shipped to users through update managers. Some users, like those on Debian, for example, might not get it for a long time, if at all, while Fedora users can expect it in the near future. With Linux 7.1 out on time, the merge window for Linux 7.2 is now open, giving contributors the opportunity to send in major new features that have been waiting for the last two months. Torvalds warned that he is currently travelling and will be in another timezone, so timing for the merge window may be irregular due to timezone differences and limited internet access. Torvalds said that he has already fetched early pull requests to allow him to do some offline work, but the travel could still cause disruption. Right now, he is not planning to extend the release, but did consider it. He said he might later regret not extending, though. In terms of this last week of development for Linux 7.1, Torvalds said there were no major or alarming changes. This week consisted mostly of smaller driver updates to GPU, networking, and sound, networking fixes, trace tooling fixes, and misc minor fixes. The shortlog this week lists fixes for driver bugs, memory leaks, I/O and USB fixes, networking and RDMA fixes, DRM/graphics fixes, and tooling and verification improvements. Specific fixes include USB series heap-overflow and buffer overflow fixes, and multiple use-after-free, memory-leak, and refcount corrections across subsystems such as i2c, zram, gpio, and net. There are fixes for graphics drivers, including amdgpu, i915, and virtio, as well as hypervisor and virtualization tweaks affecting mshv, vmbus, and hyperv. According to Phoronix, anyone running Linux 7.1 should look out for the new NTFS driver, Intel FRED for improved performance on Panther Lake and future CPUs, faster graphics with Intel Arc Battlemage, and improvements for older AMD Radeon GPUs. If you are running Linux on your computer and everything is fine, then you don’t need to worry about updating to Linux 7.1 as a priority; just wait for it to be pushed to you. If you have tried Linux on hardware but it didn’t work properly, trying again with a distro that uses Linux 7.1 could cause Linux to work on your machine, thanks to the new hardware support.
    • you can also do this with this tool: PowerSettingsExplorer made by mbk1969 at 3dguru forum.. I found it by accident researching on modern standby and annoying quirks of it in 2022
  • Recent Achievements

    • Week One Done
      rolfus earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Month Later
      Leroy Jethro Gibbs earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Conversation Starter
      flexorcist earned a badge
      Conversation Starter
    • One Month Later
      AndreaB earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • One Month Later
      agatameier earned a badge
      One Month Later
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      507
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      197
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      139
    4. 4
      ATLien_0
      90
    5. 5
      Steven P.
      81
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!