[Joke] 'Genuine clips' from council complaint letters ..

[tajul]

My bush is really overgrown round the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.

He's got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can't take it anymore.

It's the dog's mess that I find hard to swallow.

I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burnt my knob off.

I wish to complain that my father hurt his ankle very badly when he put his foot in the hole in his

back passage.

And their 18 year old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.

I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof.I think it was bad wind the other

night that blew them off.

My lavatory seat is cracked, where do I stand?

I am writing on behalf of my sink, which is coming away from the wall.

I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.

50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.

I am still having problems with smoke in my new drawers.

The toilet is blocked and we cannot bath the children until it is cleared.

Will you please send a man to look at my water, it is a funny colour and not fit to drink.

Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.

I want to complain about the farmer across the road; every morning at 6am his c**k wakes me up and its

now getting too much for me.

The man next door has a large erection in the back garden, which is unsightly and dangerous.

Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone round to

do something about it.

I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat and would you please do something about the noise made

by the man on top of me every night.

Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.

I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction. :rolleyes:

[yungmannfuzz]

:D

Very good. made me smile in work!!

[zeroday]

lol.

[Matthew S.]

lol

[Yuxi]

Haha, some of those are great :laugh:

[qdave]

some are hillarious :D