[joke]GM vs Ford vs Toyota


Recommended Posts

A Japanese company and an American company decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River Both teams practised long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.

On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.

The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat. A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action.

Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.

Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion.

They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.

Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team's management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.

They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the 'Rowing Team Quality First Program,' with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to 'equal the competition' and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.

The next year the Japanese won by two miles.

Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.

The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year's racing team was out-sourced to India .

Sadly, the End.

Here's something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can't make money paying American wages.

TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US . The last quarter's results:

TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.

Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses.

IF THIS WEREN'T SO TRUE IT MIGHT BE FUNNY

I wonder how GM stacks up? Anyone know?

Outsourcing is not the answer. Not in the auto industry or anywhere else.

Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/704816-jokegm-vs-ford-vs-toyota/
Share on other sites

How is this a joke (or, for that matter, true)? :huh:

It says so in the OP. I also got it off of a joke type email. A joke does not have to be true. You don't have to think it is funny, I do.

Humour is a very...individual thing. What you may find hilarious may be deathly boring for others. Don't be offended, nor flame users should your particular brand of humour differ.
This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Upgrade for cheap to Windows 11 Pro or Home Edition digital license by Steven Parker Today's highlighted deal comes via our Apps + Software section of the Neowin Deals store, where you can save up to 94% off on a Microsoft Windows 11 Home, or Pro digital license. Upgrade your computing experience with Windows 11 Pro. This cutting-edge operating system boasts a sleek new design and advanced tools to help you work faster and smarter. From creative projects to gaming and beyond, Windows 11 delivers the power and flexibility you need to achieve your goals. With a focus on productivity, the new features are easy to learn and use, enhancing your workflow and efficiency. Whether you're a student, professional, gamer, or creative, Windows 11 Home has everything you need to take your productivity to the next level. New interface. easier on the eyes & easier to use Biometrics login*.Encrypted authentication & advanced antivirus defenses DirectX 12 Ultimate. Play the latest games with graphics that rival reality. DirectX 12 Ultimate comes ready to maximize your hardware* Screen space. Snap layouts, desktops & seamless redocking Widgets. Stay up-to-date with the content you love & the new you care about Microsoft Teams. Stay in touch with friends and family with Microsoft Teams, which can be seamlessly integrated into your taskbar** Wake & lock. Automatically wake up when you approach and lock when you leave Smart App Control. Provides a layer of security by only permitting apps with good reputations to be installed Windows Studio Effects. Designed with Background Blur, Eye Contact, Voice Focus, & Automatic Framing Touchscreen. For a true mouse-less or keyboard-less experience TPM 2.0. Helps prevent unwanted tampering Windows 11 Pro also includes a number of productivity-focused features, such as the ability to snap multiple windows together and create custom layouts, improved voice typing, and a new, more powerful search experience. Personal and professional users will enjoy a modern and secure computing experience, with improved performance and productivity features to help users get more done. Only on Windows 11 Pro If you require enterprise-oriented features for your daily professional tasks, then Windows 11 Pro is a better option. Set up with a local account (only when set up for work or school) Join Active Directory/Azure AD Hyper-V Windows Sandbox Microsoft Remote Desktop BitLocker device encryption Windows Information Protection Mobile device management (MDM) Group Policy Enterprise State Roaming with Azure Assigned Access Dynamic Provisioning Windows Update for Business Kiosk mode Maximum RAM: 2TB Maximum no. of CPUs: 2 Maximum no. of CPU cores: 128 Good to know This license is for Windows 11 only. It is NOT intended to be used for upgrading Microsoft Office (MSO) included in Parallels Pro. However, it will still work with Parallels Pro and allow you to run Windows applications including MSO, but it DOES NOT include an upgrade MSO itself. It is still compatible with Microsoft Office ONLY if you have a separate license for it. Length of access: lifetime Redemption deadline: redeem your code within 30 days of purchase Access options: desktop Max number of device(s): 1 Version: Windows 11 Pro Updates included Queries on legality of this deal, here A Windows 11 Pro retail license normally costs $199, with Windows 11 Home usually costing $139 but you can pick either one up for just $9.97 for a limited time. For a full description, specs, and license info, click the link below. Get Windows 11 Pro for just $9.97 (was $199) Get Windows 11 Home for just $9.97 (was $139) Although priced in U.S. dollars, this deal is available for digital purchase worldwide. Support queries If you have queries or need support for any of the Neowin Deals, please use the contact form here. Neowin Deals are managed and sold by StackCommerce who represent Neowin on an affiliate basis. Why we post these deals We post these because we earn commission on each sale so as not to rely solely on advertising, which many of our readers block. It all helps toward paying staff reporters, servers and hosting costs. So for those that keep moaning and complaining, be thankful we're still online for you to even do that. Other ways to support Neowin Whitelist Neowin by not blocking our ads Create a free member account to see fewer ads Make a donation to support our day to day running costs Subscribe to Neowin - for $14 a year, or $28 a year for an ad-free experience Disclosure: Neowin benefits from revenue of each sale made through our branded deals site powered by StackCommerce.
    • Why say “Retarded” then? Lol 
    • If you don't care to read what I said, then you prove my point. Maybe written media is beyond your attention span. Titles are not summaries my friend.
    • Nobody asked... in fact, I said "I don't care about political leanings"  
    • TLDR. Here is a far better title (just a basic example): Windows 11 26H2 to allow disabling Web search results
  • Recent Achievements

    • Dedicated
      tuben earned a badge
      Dedicated
    • Week One Done
      mnsgroup earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • Conversation Starter
      sumytbe earned a badge
      Conversation Starter
    • One Year In
      B4dM1k3 earned a badge
      One Year In
    • One Year In
      DarkWun earned a badge
      One Year In
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      524
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      203
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      96
    4. 4
      Michael Scrip
      82
    5. 5
      Steven P.
      68
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!