Wife spent rent money on fathers day gift; iPod Touch

[ceminess]

I just found out that my wife spent our rent money on my fathers day gift. :unsure:

She got me an Ipod Touch 2nd Gen. and a Belkin Tunebase FM.

I love the Ipod Touch and have wanted one for a while, but she spent our rent money on my gift.

What should I do? Should I pretend to hate it (Even though I love it) when she gives it to me, so that way we can return it and pay rent with it.....Or should I keep it and pay rent late (which btw will cost me an extra $100 for paying it late).

She has no Idea that I know what my gift is, but I'm not sure what I'm going to do come fathers day, I want to keep it (Lets face it, I'm a geek, I love all my electronic gadgets), but Its not a necessity and I already have an Ipod Nano (althought it is 1st generation 4GB)

HELP ME NEOWIN, what should I do?!

[semifamous]

Pay the bills. Get the fun stuff later.

[ceedub]

Think about it this way. If you keep the iPod Touch, you would have to tack on an $100 to that price because you can't pay the rent on time.

Return it. Pay the bills. If you are that low on funds you shouldn't be buying non-essentials.

[Growled Member]

Do the right thing. Pay your bills.

[Sethos]

Return it, pay bills, slap her, end.

[agreenbhm]

That's seriously messed up. You need to sit down with her and tell her how life works.

[+Fulcrum Subscriber¹]

return the gifts.

save $100

use $100 on counseling.

[sn00pie]

Pay the bills dude. Paying it late and losing another $100 bucks is not worth it :(

[+John Teacake MVC]

I cant believe you all! She has done something romantic. You said you love it so why return it? Pay the $100 late fee and tell her how happy you are with the device. She did a really sweet thing there remember that. . . . Plus you'll get more than $100's worth of enjoyment out of your device. Live for the moment.

[null_]

I cant believe you all! She has done something romantic. You said you love it so why return it? Pay the $100 late fee and tell her how happy you are with the device. She did a really sweet thing there remember that. . . . Plus you'll get more than $100's worth of enjoyment out of your device. Live for the moment.

Paying your bills on time and making ends meet should come before a gift which is non essential. Besides, there are other romantic things that could be done that wouldn't cost more than a few bucks (and not cause you to lapse on your payments).

[Buttus]

pay the bills... tell her to appreciate you as a father on one of the other 364 days of the year....

[Neo003]

Well you can always live in the ipod box.

[_bobcat_ Veteran]

Do you know for sure it was the rent money and not some savings?

If it definitely was rent money, then it's obvious you have to return it, unless you can afford to throw away $100?

You also need to educate your wife about being responsible with money. If my spouse did something so stupid they'd be getting a divorce.

[AltecXP]

If she had it engraved you CANT return it, just an FYI.

[maplecookie Veteran]

Does she know how much money you guys have in the accounts? Maybe she was under the impression that there would be enough to cover the ipod as well as rent. First, don't get angry with her...what's done is done and now you need a plan.. If you love your wife and want your relationship to be healthy, you are going to have to sit down with her and logically find out what she did, what she was thinking, and come up with a plan *together*.

Okay, so you know about the gift. Don't spend the next week on your own worrying about it and carrying the weight of bills by yourself. Mention to her that you saw the account, have an idea of what she spent money on and explain the situation.

Besides the 100 dollars, is this something that is going to mess up your finances for the next few months? Are things going to be really tight? Sometimes you just have to say "okay, what is more important, paying a bill on time or not fighting" (I don't know if you guys argue about things like that). I'm one to just say, "thank you" and have a serious conversation about the consequences and what we are going to do now that everything is messed up.

[Subject Delta]

Whilst your wife had good intentions, you have to pay your bills, end of story. Treat the issue with tact don't just go ripping into her as it will undoubtedly hurt her feelings as she was probably only trying to show her love for you, but you need to put her straight, you have to pay your bills. Food, Water, and a roof over your head are the most important things in any human being's life and you have to secure your financial safety.

[_bobcat_ Veteran]

^ Yeah I was assuming she knew it was rent money. I guess not all couples share their finances so transparently.

If she didn't realise what she was doing, then clearly there needs to be more discussion in future to avoid a repeat of this :/ Currently, she should probably be told of the situation..well what Triliaeris said.

[tiagosilva29]

Pay the bills.

I couldn't stop noticing that she bought a father's day gift for you. It this her way to say that you are her daddy?

[ceminess]

She didn't get it engraved, she bought it from best buy. I've always paid my bills on time, and have been good with the money, I think she did it because she knows I get a quarterly bonus from work on my next paycheck so she knows we can afford it, its just we can't afford it right now.

I could return it, and then re-buy it after I get my bonus, but My wife wouldn't like that idea, she is very sensitive (And bi-polar), she is really big on getting a gift on time, in her own words, "You either get a gift on time or you don't get one at all"

I'm surprised at all of the strong responses, I know she isn't crazy, and no I won't divorce her because of this, Like Sawyer said, she was just trying to do something romantic for me.

I'm all for returning it and re-buying it when we have the money, but I don't want to hurt her feelings because of it.

[bauhaus]

I cant believe you all! She has done something romantic.

Romanticism cant pay the bills.

[gnuman]

I am just laughing at the responses of keep it. IF she engraved it, you don't have a choice. On a sidenote, this is how America got into the financial crisis by spending money they don't have! Atleast it wasn't a $10000 shopping spree on a credit card.

Second of all, joint accounts are a NO NO. It is the worst thing you could ever do in a relationship. This is a major argument amongst people in relationships of one spending money for things not necessary, or one does not work but buys things and ends up in worse situations than what you are currently in. If any financial advisor tells you to have joint accounts when married they should be fired. What is yours is yours and what is hers is hers. If you live together, 50/50 out of each of your accounts. No arguments there about money issues.

I agree with Sethos except slap her with a math book.

[ceminess]

Does she know how much money you guys have in the accounts? Maybe she was under the impression that there would be enough to cover the ipod as well as rent. First, don't get angry with her...what's done is done and now you need a plan.. If you love your wife and want your relationship to be healthy, you are going to have to sit down with her and logically find out what she did, what she was thinking, and come up with a plan *together*.

Okay, so you know about the gift. Don't spend the next week on your own worrying about it and carrying the weight of bills by yourself. Mention to her that you saw the account, have an idea of what she spent money on and explain the situation.

Besides the 100 dollars, is this something that is going to mess up your finances for the next few months? Are things going to be really tight? Sometimes you just have to say "okay, what is more important, paying a bill on time or not fighting" (I don't know if you guys argue about things like that). I'm one to just say, "thank you" and have a serious conversation about the consequences and what we are going to do now that everything is messed up.

Thank you! This is what I am going to do! Sit down with her and talk to her logically about it, tell her I seen that account, and that we need to come up with a plan, It just makes things tight for the next two weeks, after that things will be fine.

[_bobcat_ Veteran]

Is your bonus enough to absorb the $100 penalty from paying your rent late? Do you have an overdraft facility to help temporarily?

It just sounds like such an irresponsible thing to do. Either she is kept ignorant of your financial situation (she is blameless but really needs to be told how things stand) or she's foolish.

Just because she is sensitive doesn't mean she should get away with foolish behaviour or kept in the dark about your financial situation. It might mean that you have to take extra care in how you deal with it so as not to hurt her unnecessarily .. but being "sensitive" and bipolar is not a get out clause, she's not a child.

I have read about how people with bipolar can get a bit crazy with money when they are on a high. Is that what happened?

Thank you! This is what I am going to do! Sit down with her and talk to her logically about it, tell her I seen that account, and that we need to come up with a plan, It just makes things tight for the next two weeks, after that things will be fine.

Sounds good :)

[MasterC]

Return it, pay bills, slap her, end.

:laugh:

I cant believe you all! She has done something romantic. You said you love it so why return it? Pay the $100 late fee and tell her how happy you are with the device. She did a really sweet thing there remember that. . . . Plus you'll get more than $100's worth of enjoyment out of your device. Live for the moment.

Putting them behind in paying rent isn't romantic. ;)

[cabron]

I will slap and divorce her, what in hell you will spend the money of the rent? are u ****ing crazy bitch?