Wife spent rent money on fathers day gift; iPod Touch

[speedstr3789]

SI've always paid my bills on time, and have been good with the money, I think she did it because she knows I get a quarterly bonus from work on my next paycheck so she knows we can afford it, its just we can't afford it right now.

Do you know how utterly stupid that sounds? "We can afford it, it's just we just can't afford it right now". Geeez.

It sounds to me like neither of you know how to budget or spend money wisely. If you can't afford it now you can't afford it later.

And to be honest, I don't believe you when you say you've always paid your bills on time. You seem to know that not paying your rent will cost you an extra $100.00.

You know what they say...a fool and his money.....

[Growled Member]

I will slap and divorce her, what in hell you will spend the money of the rent? are u ****ing crazy bitch?

You're not married, are you? :D

[_bobcat_ Veteran]

...

Second of all, joint accounts are a NO NO. It is the worst thing you could ever do in a relationship. This is a major argument amongst people in relationships of one spending money for things not necessary, or one does not work but buys things and ends up in worse situations than what you are currently in. If any financial advisor tells you to have joint accounts when married they should be fired. What is yours is yours and what is hers is hers. If you live together, 50/50 out of each of your accounts. No arguments there about money issues.

....

This is getting off topic but I had to respond.

If you live together you have joint finances whether or not its a joint account .. you still have to work together to decide how things will be paid for. If one of you is a jackass separate accounts won't really help, it would just save you from getting stolen from I guess.

Personally, I find the joint account I have with my partner reduces the chance of arguments. We only use it for joint things - food, going out, bills and we put in equal amounts at the same time and only when needed. We have our own accounts for our personal expenses, which our wages etc are paid into. This set up means we keep control of our own money, but when it comes to joint things we don't have to constantly keep track of who spent what, who paid what bill, who bought dinner last time, etc.

[Rudnartim]

If you can afford and the consequences of paying your rent late dont out weigh the benefits of allowing your wife to surprise you with a gift you really wanted then by all means keep it. If paying the rent late will have major consequences then by all means return it. Its only 100$ more on your rent for it being late, you say your getting a bonus next week, so you really need to think about the consequences of keeping it and returning it. Personally I would keep it and act surprised when you got it, and then with a loving approach you ahve to discuss how you really need to keep the bill money for bills and maybe you can each set something aside in the future for gifts and romantic gestures.

[mtrftw]

how late would you be paying the rent?

[_bobcat_ Veteran]

Do you know how utterly stupid that sounds? "We can afford it, it's just we just can't afford it right now". Geeez.

It sounds to me like neither of you know how to budget or spend money wisely. If you can't afford it now you can't afford it later.

And to be honest, I don't believe you when you say you've always paid your bills on time. You seem to know that not paying your rent will cost you an extra $100.00.

You know what they say...a fool and his money.....

It doesn't sound stupid.

I can't afford a mortgage right now. But I will be able to afford it in a few years time ;)

And that $100 figure will be in the contract.

[Evolution]

Maybe she's trying to tell you that she's pregnant? ;)

[Rudnartim]

Do you know how utterly stupid that sounds? "We can afford it, it's just we just can't afford it right now". Geeez.

It sounds to me like neither of you know how to budget or spend money wisely. If you can't afford it now you can't afford it later.

And to be honest, I don't believe you when you say you've always paid your bills on time. You seem to know that not paying your rent will cost you an extra $100.00.

You know what they say...a fool and his money.....

Well if the bonus he will be getting will easily cover the cost of the ipod and the extra 100$ towards rent then he CAN afford it, but not untill next week. And most people should know how much late charges would be, any lease you sign for to get an apartment or rent anything it should clearly state what your late charges will be and when the bill is due.

I am just laughing at the responses of keep it. IF she engraved it, you don't have a choice. On a sidenote, this is how America got into the financial crisis by spending money they don't have! Atleast it wasn't a $10000 shopping spree on a credit card.

Second of all, joint accounts are a NO NO. It is the worst thing you could ever do in a relationship. This is a major argument amongst people in relationships of one spending money for things not necessary, or one does not work but buys things and ends up in worse situations than what you are currently in. If any financial advisor tells you to have joint accounts when married they should be fired. What is yours is yours and what is hers is hers. If you live together, 50/50 out of each of your accounts. No arguments there about money issues.

I agree with Sethos except slap her with a math book.

My wife and I have a joint accound into which my paycheck is direct deposited. Her paychecks gets deposited there as well. She writes out the bills since I work out of state during the week, and we both discuss any non essential purchases like adults. Joint accounts don't work unless both people are mature.

[Jebadiah]

Maybe she's trying to tell you that she's pregnant? ;)

Ace!

[Verdelite]

Does she know how much money you guys have in the accounts? Maybe she was under the impression that there would be enough to cover the ipod as well as rent. First, don't get angry with her...what's done is done and now you need a plan.. If you love your wife and want your relationship to be healthy, you are going to have to sit down with her and logically find out what she did, what she was thinking, and come up with a plan *together*.

Okay, so you know about the gift. Don't spend the next week on your own worrying about it and carrying the weight of bills by yourself. Mention to her that you saw the account, have an idea of what she spent money on and explain the situation.

Besides the 100 dollars, is this something that is going to mess up your finances for the next few months? Are things going to be really tight? Sometimes you just have to say "okay, what is more important, paying a bill on time or not fighting" (I don't know if you guys argue about things like that). I'm one to just say, "thank you" and have a serious conversation about the consequences and what we are going to do now that everything is messed up.

Tri, I wish you were my wife. Mine has this problem of impulse buying, and with me being the only one working as she cant for her life find a job, it gets tough sometimes. I cant talk to her as she gets ****ed off. I wish I could get her to understand about the money situation, I mean were doing ok, but I HATE living from paycheck to paycheck.

[speedstr3789]

Well if the bonus he will be getting will easily cover the cost of the ipod and the extra 100$ towards rent then he CAN afford it, but not untill next week.

What it sounds like to me is a bunch of people who have no real financial responsibility that's giving you advice.

Seriously. If you need to depend on a bonus to make sure your bills are paid or need to use that bonus to buy some unneeded toy then you're not keeping track of your finances correctly. It's as simple as that.

[Growled Member]

Personally, I find the joint account I have with my partner reduces the chance of arguments.

Same here. My wife and I have a joint account and we never have any problems. I can see where that might not work in all cases.

[ceminess]

What it sounds like to me is a bunch of people who have no real financial responsibility that's giving you advice.

Seriously. If you need to depend on a bonus to make sure your bills are paid or need to use that bonus to buy some unneeded toy then you're not keeping track of your finances correctly. It's as simple as that.

You don't make sense, I use my bonuses to purchase unneeded toy's, is that so wrong? I thought thats what bonuses are for.

All of my other extra money from my week to week paychecks to go my 2 daughters!

Maybe she's trying to tell you that she's pregnant? wink.gif

uh oh,...it ain't mine! I'm snipped! :D

[gnuman]

Tri, I wish you were my wife. Mine has this problem of impulse buying, and with me being the only one working as she cant for her life find a job, it gets tough sometimes. I cant talk to her as she gets ****ed off. I wish I could get her to understand about the money situation, I mean were doing ok, but I HATE living from paycheck to paycheck.

She's being irrational and probably suffering from depression for not being able to find a job. She can't flip burgers or work at Walmart to earn income???

If you can't talk to her, your money shouldn't "talk" to her either. Cut off the account/cancel the credit card and you take care of the finances. Give her spending money that she could "enjoy" herself with. She probably bought clothes/other products that still have price tags on them.

Why should you work hard and she spends it on useless things? Go on the net and download the multitude of episodes of Dr. Phil and people who are impulsive spenders and rack up a debt of $50000 and maybe she'll get a clue.

You'll never get ahead if this keeps on going the way it is.

[Rudnartim]

What it sounds like to me is a bunch of people who have no real financial responsibility that's giving you advice.

Seriously. If you need to depend on a bonus to make sure your bills are paid or need to use that bonus to buy some unneeded toy then you're not keeping track of your finances correctly. It's as simple as that.

Well should he just sit on his bonus and not use it. Paychecks pay the bills, anything else is gravy, sure you can use it to the pay the bills which is what you should do, but you also can't go through life denying yourself things when you can have them by spending the bonus.

[speedstr3789]

You don't make sense, I use my bonuses to purchase unneeded toy's, is that so wrong? I thought thats what bonuses are for.

Do you have to wait to pay your rent and take a $100.00 shot for it? Or can you pay your bills and be able to use those bonuses for whatever you want. There is a difference.

[Rudnartim]

She's being irrational and probably suffering from depression for not being able to find a job. She can't flip burgers or work at Walmart to earn income???

If you can't talk to her, your money shouldn't "talk" to her either. Cut off the account/cancel the credit card and you take care of the finances. Give her spending money that she could "enjoy" herself with. She probably bought clothes/other products that still have price tags on them.

Why should you work hard and she spends it on useless things? Go on the net and download the multitude of episodes of Dr. Phil and people who are impulsive spenders and rack up a debt of $50000 and maybe she'll get a clue.

You'll never get ahead if this keeps on going the way it is.

Your not married are you?

[ceminess]

Wow this topic blew up, its getting out of hand really, Look, I'm going to sit her down and talk to her about the gift, and what we will do about it regarding the rent. I"m not going to tell her I know what it is, or tell her to return it, I"m just going to discuss finances with her to make sure we are on the same page.

I can see this topic is getting out of hand. Thank you for all of the genuine advice!

[gnuman]

Your not married are you?

Marriage has nothing to do with whether a person is being stupid and spending money that doesn't exist. There probably is an underlying factor on why the irrational behavior exists to cause a person to be like it.

If you cut her off from the money, she'll be forced to talk about the situation instead of nothing being wrong. It's like telling a kid not to do something and they keep on doing it. You punish them and then they'll understand why mommy or daddy told them not to do it.

Heck, I got money, I don't go out and buy the latest computer hardware to be the fastest computer user on the street. It took me a few days on whether I wanted to get a laptop when I easily had the money for it.

Most people don't think before the buy. Sure it is nice to splurge on oneself or their other once in a while if you have the money to do so, but to constantly live a lifestyle you can't afford, you'll be using 10 credit cards to pay for things you don't have the money for.

[Angelic Marge]

Paying your bills on time and making ends meet should come before a gift which is non essential. Besides, there are other romantic things that could be done that wouldn't cost more than a few bucks (and not cause you to lapse on your payments).

I agree with the above. No way could I bring myself to spend money meant for bills, especially if it's to keep a roof over my kids heads We've always looked at mothers and fathers day as a day to spend with your kids and being their mother or father, expensive gifts mean nothing but family means everything.

Edited June 13, 2009 by Evil Marge

[crankenstein.exe]

tell her if she really loved you she would have gotten you a zune ;)

[WhoTheF]

Just talk to her and make her realize what's important, but make sure you make HER feel very important and that you really appreciate the gift!

[FloatingFatMan]

I agree with the above. No way could I bring myself to spend money meant for bills, especially if it's to keep a roof over my kids heads We've always looked at mothers and fathers day as a day to spend with your kids and being their mother or father, expensive gifts mean nothing but family means everything.

Just on the subject of gifts, I've always appreciated the gifts my kids make with their own hands WAY more than anything you could buy in the store, and that includes the cards too! I will be spending fathers day by taking the whole family out and having fun together. :)

[SirEvan]

Well you can always live in the ipod box.

I'm sorry, but I LOL'd at that.

I'm gonna sit on the fence here on this one. The reasonable side of me says "return it, as bills are more important....gadgets are worth nothing if you don't have electricity to charge them.

The romantic side sees what your wife did, while maybe a little misguided, but she had really good intentions, so I'd say keep it as well, but tell her after you get it that, while you really appreciated it, you should think about necessities first.

plus paying the rent late has repercussions down the line, maybe you move somewhere else, and when they check with your last landlord, he tells them you paid your rent late.

[Hum]

Sell your wife :shifty: