Wife spent rent money on fathers day gift; iPod Touch

[+John Teacake MVC]

Wow I really do think differently to everyone here! I was going to have a rant but its too early lol. This is NOT how we got into a financial crisis at all!!! Whoever said that its one bloody gift. People need to take chill out. I dont think you owing a $100 is hardly anything to worry about in the grand scheme of things just think of the millions of people in a many many times worse situation than you are right now. Enjoy the iPod :-)

[mattmatik]

You are stuck in a situation all too familiar to men. On the one hand, if you tell her you like the gift but know you can't pay the rent, she will say you are irresponsible and more concerned with your "gadgets" than necessities. On the flip side, if you tell her you like the gift but she has to take it back so you can pay the rent, she will eventually use that against you later when you want to buy a "gadget" that you really like. "Sorry, hun, we need to pay the rent. You can't get that iPod Touch 3."

And whether it is $100 or $1, being late on something like rent is not worth it. You need to talk to your wife and tell her you two need to save a bit. Make it a mutual thing.

[evo0o]

Accept the gesture but tell her that rent's more important. Get your priorities right!

[maplecookie Veteran]

Tri, I wish you were my wife. Mine has this problem of impulse buying, and with me being the only one working as she cant for her life find a job, it gets tough sometimes. I cant talk to her as she gets ****ed off. I wish I could get her to understand about the money situation, I mean were doing ok, but I HATE living from paycheck to paycheck.

lol Well I'm far from perfect when it comes to money. I wasn't able to keep everything in check when I was doing our budget so eventually I just said we are never going to get ahead if I keep this up and handed everything over to Jason.

We all make mistakes, but arguing doesn't always solve the problems.

Let us know what happened and hopefully it works out for you.

[Pea]

Are you positive it was your rent money? It could have just been something she was saving for. Anyway, there is no reason why you couldn't put a completely positive spin on it. Just tell her you love the gift but would not be much of a father if you didn't return it and use the money for rent, to provide for your family the way she meant to provide for you when she purchased it.

[Konstanov]

We all make mistakes, but arguing doesn't always solve the problems.

Now I wish you were my wife, she's a psychiatrist and she doesn't understand this.

[Angelic Marge]

Just on the subject of gifts, I've always appreciated the gifts my kids make with their own hands WAY more than anything you could buy in the store, and that includes the cards too! I will be spending fathers day by taking the whole family out and having fun together. :)

I meant to say that in my post too but forgot to add it. We still have all the cards and stuff our kids made when they were young in a drawer upstairs and they're both 19 and 22 now :D

[+Nik Louch Subscriber²]

Take it back, tell her that she needs to sort the priorities. You NEED to pay the rent, you don't NEED a father day gift. Seeing as it's a father's day gift, this suggest you have kid(s), and so she should grow up and understand budgeting a little better!

[qdave]

You also need to educate your wife about being responsible with money. If my spouse did something so stupid they'd be getting a divorce.

Really? A divorce over a silly thing like that?

[Angelic Marge]

I'm wondering how old his kids are, are they not old enough to buy or make a gift for you themselves?

Thankfully my hubby's the type of man who isn't afraid to speak his mind, if I'd spent bill money on an expensive luxury such as an ipod he wouldn't hesitate to tell me he wasn't very happy and there's no way he'd accept it. As I said before though I couldn't bring myself to do it, if I don't have the money in my pocket I don't spent it.

[darkmanx21]

I actually think this is kind of funny. Seems a lack of communication also exists besides the situation at hand. Was she not aware the money was for rent? I thought that was usually the first thing established. :huh:

Either way, I agree with most people on here. The rent HAS to be paid. No reason to pay an additional $100 when you actually have the money. Go to dinner. Yes, the thought counts - but I mean a Father's Day gift..from your wife? Wtf? I think, I can think of a couple things that would be GREAT alternatives also. Lol. Hopefully, even free. ;)

Damn, this **** has 4 pages? Nice...

[colealtdelete]

There seems to be an underlying issue here. Not the fact that she bought you the gift with rent money, but she bought you a gift......with your OWN money. Also, how old are you two? How long have you been together and how long have you been married?

[Davo]

Irrational Appreciation? is a trademark of women. Any and all acts which have not taken common sense or finances into consideration are also covered under this registration.

"You're such an awesome dad that I spent the money we needed for something else!:):)"

[colealtdelete]

Irrational Appreciation? is a trademark of women. Any and all acts which have not taken common sense or finances into consideration are also covered under this registration.

"You're such an awesome dad that I spent the money we needed for something else!:):)"

:rolleyes:s:

[Reimroc]

:rolleyes:

Your signature is a lie!

[Konstanov]

There seems to be an underlying issue here. Not the fact that she bought you the gift with rent money, but she bought you a gift......with your OWN money. Also, how old are you two? How long have you been together and how long have you been married?

Have you ever been married?

My money is my wife's money and her money is my money. It doesn't matter who earns it.

[ceminess]

Just to clear the air here on some things. We share a joint account, and we do the bills together. So she is in the loop on the money. I grew up in a household where my mom did all the bills herself and hid things from my dad, I swore I wouldn't let things like that happen in my life, and it hasn't. Usually we are pretty good with our money and pay the bills on time, but you cannot expect some things to happen, like car repairs, house repairs, ect.

That being said, no my daughters are not old enough to make me, or get me, anything for fathers day. My daughter Shyla is 1yr 4months. And my second daughter Kylah is 6months old (Yes they are 10 months apart). Either way its tradition in my family for everyone to get the mother or father something on fathers day, Like my Mother got my wife something for mothers day this year, and I'm sure I'll get something from her this year for fathers day as well.

Come to find out, I just received a card in the mail from my Grandmother in Florida for fathers day. She gave me some money and the kids a couple of savings bonds as well. We are going to use my fathers day money for Rent (She didn't post date the check).

I did sit her down and talked to her logically about the situation and it went pretty well, I told her that I love the fact that she got me something nice (albeit I didn't tell her I knew what it was) but I don't appreciate the fact that she didn't come to me first to discuss the issue before she bought the gift. It went well, and so did the make up sex ;)

[shakey_snake]

This is the type of situations emergency funds can/should be for.

It's one thing to claim that you now " can't pay the rent without liquidating some investments or digging into the emergency savings" but it's quite another things to claim "you can't pay the rent".

Sounds like you both could bother to take a class in personal finance. ;)

[ceminess]

This is the type of situations emergency funds can/should be for.

It's one thing to claim that you now " can't pay the rent without liquidating some investments or digging into the emergency savings" but it's quite another things to claim "you can't pay the rent".

Sounds like you both could bother to take a class in personal finance. ;)

I've seen this comment by a few others in this thread as well

Tell me how I can save money with 2 children, and Bills on 26,000 a year.

I have Rent, Car payment, Car insurance, Health insurance, Home owners insurance (I live in a trailer, I pay lot rent), TV, Internet, Phone, Food, Diapers, clothes for me ever growing daughters.

I have a good job, in the IT field right now, and I am finishing up college as well. Things will get better, but as of right now, I don't think that a Finance class will help me save money, unless it will teach me how to **** money out of my ass to save.

Don't jump to conclusions and think that I am ignorant and don't know how to manage money because of one situation, before you understand my life.

[shakey_snake]

Tell me how I can save money with 2 children, and Bills on 26,000 a year.

I don't know how far that much goes in Chicagoland, but it's pretty irrelevant. It's all about making savings a priority, even when living hand to foot. A priority over things like an iPod.

I don't know how keeping the iPod even becomes a possibility if things are as desperate as you're making them out to be.

[Astra.Xtreme]

The best gifts don't cost money. Be creative. ;)

[ceminess]

I don't know how far that much goes in Chicagoland, but it's pretty irrelevant. It's all about making savings a priority, even when living hand to foot. A priority over things like an iPod.

I don't know how keeping the iPod even becomes a possibility if things are as desperate as you're making them out to be.

It wouldn't have been a possibility if I hadn't been getting my bonus from work. And my bonus will go into my savings, and we will spend it on fixing things that need to be fixed around the house, and a few repairs that the car needs done.

Its hard to keep money in the bank when your in a situation like mine, but you will go crazy if you don't indulge yourself when you have the chance to. I'm not saying spend money that you don't have, I'm saying I cannot be expected to put my whole bonus in savings without spending some of it on myself.

[EcPercy]

My wife bought me a PSP one time with the money we were supposed to use to pay the mortgage. It was for a christmas present so I didn't find out about it for awhile. When I did I was ****ed. You should be too. Your priorities are as follows: Food, Clothing, Shelter, and Transportation.

I do admit that back in those days neither one of us were good with money and didn't budget properly, but that is not an issue now. We do a budget every month and don't spend more then we make, but we also have separate accounts.

If I were you I would open another bank account and put your paycheck there. Your wife may feel like she is doing a good thing, but if you aren't paying your bills there is nothing good about it.

[colealtdelete]

Have you ever been married?

My money is my wife's money and her money is my money. It doesn't matter who earns it.

Actually, I'm engaged. So yes, that's how it works. I have a separate account and she has a separate account. Joint account for paying bills but that's it.

[maplecookie Veteran]

Not everyone has the means to save money. But it doesn't mean they don't deserve to get something from time to time.

So their kids aren't supposed to have toys? They can't go out on a date because they don't have savings?? Life doesn't work that way and it's not realistic. You can say it all you want that people shouldn't buy an ipod if they don't have savings, but that's not how probably 90% of people work. Many live paycheck to paycheck and still can have a few things they've always wanted.

Try putting 10 dollars into savings every week, and all the change you get put in a bucket. We started saving like this (we actually paid for a vacation after two years using our change!!). While 10 dollars doesn't seem like much, after a bit you'll have some savings to help with little emergencies like getting new tires, or paying a copay for the kids.