Transformers: Dark of the Moon (Transformers 3)


Recommended Posts

I liked transformers2 a lot and am looking forward to the third, but to those who thought that this was a great movie here is something to ponder:

Are there honestly 46 new Transformers in the movie?

I have no ****ing clue. It's impossible to tell most of them apart except for Optimus and the Racist Twins (there's another yellow Autobot who I constantly thought was Bumblebee). There could be 46, or there could be 12. I honestly would believe 12 if someone had said that.

What is the status of the Transformers at the beginning of the film?

The Autobots have joined the military to hunt down the Decepticons. We're told the Decepticons are "doing things," but they appear to be hiding peacefully when the Autobots show up and brutally murder them.

What?

Yeah. The Decepticons aren't apparently doing anything, then the Autobots show up, the Decepticons run for their ******* lives, and the Autobots hunt them down and brutally murder them. It's kind of weird.

Why is the U.S. military helping them?

Supposedly to help keep the Transformers a secret from the public. Although since the climax of the last film was a massive firefight involving 50-foot robots and took place over five miles of downtown Los Angeles and the beginning of this film wrecks several miles of Shanghai, China, they seem to be incredibly ****ty at their job.

How does the U.S. military help them?

Well, not at all, actually. They just kind of come along with guns and stuff, and act like they're going to help, but the Autobots do all the work.

Why is the U.S. military in this movie at all, then?

Because Michael Bay has a huge erection for jets and tanks and aircraft carriers and considers giant robots only a necessary evil for the film. At least 15 full minutes of the film's 150-minute run time is nothing but footage of jets and tanks and planes without any robots or actual action whatsoever.

How is Sam Witwicky dragged back into the fight?

Well, he finds a fragment of the Allspark shard. You know, the Allspark that he spent all last movie being told he shouldn't give to Megatron, but when he gave it to Megatron, it killed Megatron. That one. Anyways, the shard makes the Beef see symbols and act like more of an spaz than usual.

So the Decepticons want the shard? Why?

Uh... to bring Megatron back to life?

What?

That's what they said.

But the Allspark killed Megatron in the first movie.

Yes.

...and now it can also bring him back to life.

It's very powerful, this Allspark.

Uh-huh. So what's their plan to get it?

They send a small R/C car who talks like Joe Pesci in Casino to get it.

Shouldn't they have sent Starscream or somebody?

Look, there's another Allspark shard and get that one anyways, so it doesn't matter.

Well, then why do they give a **** about Sam?

The symbols. In his head. That the shard of the Allspark gave him.

They weren't in the other shard?

Apparently not.

So how do the Decepticons plan to get the symbols, I guess?

Well, the Decepticons have very cunningly created a hot chick robot who they enrolled in the same college and put in the same astronomy class as Sam. And they made her a huge slut.

Wait.

Waiting.

There's a slutty Decepticon?

Yeah, she's a real ho. The Decepticons apparently have an incredibly powerful slut-making program, because she has it down, man. Anyways--

Didn't Sam touch the shard and get the symbols stuck in his head on his first day of college?

Yes.

So the Decepticons made a slutty robot to attend his college and enrolled her in classes and put her in on-campus housing just in case Sam ended up being important at some point in the future?

Apparently. It was an elaborate plan, but it sure paid off.

How so?

Well, not at all. The slut-bot made out with him for a little bit then immediately tried to kill him, neither for any apparent motive or gain.

It sounds preposterous.

Doesn't matter, because the Decepticons use the shard piece they do have to resurrect Megatron! He's back! Ooo! Scary!

Why is this scary? All he wanted was the Allspark, and now it's gone.

...because he has a boss! He's called the Fallen, because he's so evil! He has an evil plan to use a machine on Earth to blow up the sun and make energon! Or something! It's not very clear.

Now you're just making **** up as you go along, aren't you?

Best not to think too much about it. Anyways, the symbols in the Beef's head are a map to where this machine exists, so the hunt is on and Sam shortly is captured by other, less ****ty Decepticons in one of the many instances where Bumblebee inexplicably abandons the Beef so he can conveniently be in trouble.

Then a robot called the Doctor who speaks gibberish with a German accent shoves things up Shia's nose and gets the symbols.

That's that, then, right? The Decepticons win?

No! Because Optimus Prime saves Sam before they cut off his head, which has another treasure inside!

Really? What is that?

No one really bothers to explain this, actually. Suffice to say, the Decepticons continue to want Sam. Oh, then Optimus Prime fights three Decepticons at once and dies.

Where the hell were the other Autobots during this fight?

I don't know. They were with him before the fight, but then they disappear and show up right after he dies. But they appear sad about Optimus dying. Marginally. I mean, they don't get any screen time or dialogue to convey any feelings or anything, but there's some sad music playing for a little bit afterwards. I assume this means the robots that are off-screen are grieving.

Well, if one shard brought Megatron back to life, can't Sam just use his shard piece to resurrect Optimus?

Yes. He could.

...

...

Well?

He doesn't.

Why not?

I'm not sure exactly.

Then what the hell does he do?

He decides get those symbols that were in his head translated to figure out what the Fallen's up to.

Which Autobot does the translating?

Err... none of them. Actually, it's John Turturro.

What. The ****.

Yeah, since he was laid off from his super-secret government agent job, he now works in a NY deli and runs a super-popular Transformers conspiracy theory website. Like ya do.

And why couldn't an Autobot translate these symbols?

Because Bumblebee is mute and the Racist Twins are poor black robots from the slums of Cybertron who never learned how to read. It's a sad commentary on Cybertronian society. Like The Wire, actually.

Where the hell are the other Autobots?

I don't know. Away. They seem to be unable to be reached. They're probably grieving about Optimnus still. Clearly, John Turturro is the reasonable solution here.

So Turturro translates the symbols.

No, that would be silly. He does, in an incredibly bizarre series of connect-the-dots, lead them to Jetfire, an elderly and deceased Transformers whose corpse is hanging out in the Air & Space Museum.

What good is he dead?!

Ah! Remember the shard? Sam uses it to bring Jetfire back to life!

Not Optimus?

No! This way, Sam can get the symbols translated... so he can, er... find the ancient machine... that can, uh... possibly bring Optimus back to life.

You have to ****ing be kidding me.

Moving on! Jetfire teleports everyone to Egypt, including some of the missing Autobots --

Wait, what? Teleports?

Yes, teleports.

Transformers don't teleport.

Jetfire does.

But -- wait a second, he's a ****ing jet. He could fly everybody to Egypt, right? And that would make perfect sense for both the character and the franchise!

Well, I guess so. But he chooses not to. The point is Jetfire teleports them all to Egypt where he explains that there used to be 7 or 8 Primes, and they traveled around the galaxy blowing up suns for energon. But they never did it on planets with life.

Well, they had set the machine up on Earth and not noticed all the life running around, and one of the Primes just said **** it, let's do it anyways. This was evil, so they called that Prime the Fallen and beat the **** out of him although he escaped.

Okay...

So that other mysterious reason that the Decepticons wanted Sam's brain? It's because it contains some very vague clues about the Matrix of Leacdership, which is the device that turns on the sun-exploding machine. The Fallen needs the Matrix to blow up the sun and get his Energon.

Hold on. That's what the Matrix of Leadership does in the movie?

Yes. Works the sun-exploding machine.

I'm fuzzy on how "Leadership" covers that.

I didn't name it. But it does sound a little nicer than "Matrix of Blowing Up the ******* Sun."

If I may continue, in order to protect the Earth, the 6-7 other Prime hid the Matrix on Earth and made a tomb with their own bodies. Isn't that cool?

...

...

No. No it is not. If they wanted to protect Earth, why did they leave the Matrix on the planet? They're a space-faring race, they could have hid it anywhere in galaxy! Second of all, what the **** does making a tomb of their own bodies do? Shouldn't they have stayed alive to protect the Matrix? Or finish off the Fallen? Or just not die and leave Earth and the entire Transformer race in jeopardy?

Uh...

And why hide the Matrix at all? Don't they need Energon to survive? Didn't they say they go to other lifeless planets? These idiot Primes just doomed their whole species for no ****ing reason whatsoever! No wonder the Decepticons are so ****ed.

...ahem. Eventually, Sam and crew find the Matrix, which instantly crumbles into dust. Sam puts the dust in a sock because he thinks it will bring Optimus back to life.

Grr.

What follows is the most spectacular part of the movie, as Sam and Mikaela try to run the several miles back to the military camp during a massive Decepticon attack where the military has dropped Optimus Prime's corpse.

Why is that awesome? They could drive back in one of the Autobots and be there in a minute or two.

They don't do that.

What?

They walk.

Of course they do. And I assume the Autobots just mysteriously disappear again until a second before a Decepticon is about to kill Sam.

Yes. Exactly.

I am already incredibly sick of this movie, and I'm just typing questions about it. Sam resurrects Optimus, Optimus kills the Fallen, end of story, right?

Pretty close. Sam dies, though.

Really?

Yeah, for a little while. But then the Transformers in heaven send him back because he still has work to do.

**** you.

I'm serious.

**** you. There's no way.

It's true. The 6-7 Primes are there in the clouds like Mufasa's head in The Lion King, and tell Sam he's awesome and he needs to live again so he can bring Optimus back to life.

I may be ill.

Then Jetfire appears out of nowhere and rips out his own heart right in front of Optimus to give him his elderly old robot powers. This makes Optimus into a flying badass who defeats the Megatron and Starscream and the Fallen in a little less than two minutes. After the last 30 minutes of the movie have been nothing but explosions -- not all of which have any obvious causes -- it's a bit disappointing.

Anything else you want to add?

Well, only that although Sam jams the Matrix of Leadership into Optimus Prime's chest to resurrect him, a Decepticon takes it out like 10 seconds later and Optimus is fine. Just a little weird, is all.

Can you give me any reason I would want to see this film in theaters?

I can't answer every question, man.

BONUS ROUND!

So it's not as bad as ****ting your pants?

Marginally. I honestly had to make a pro and con list to figure it out.

Why on earth would anyone make a film about giant robots but have myriad scenes of some random ******bag's first day of college?

I don't have the faintest clue.

Could there have been more trite, less inspired song for Bumblebee to play when Sam says he's going to college than The Pointer Sisters' "I'm So Excited"?

No. No there couldn't.

Why can't Bumblebee talk, but the other Autobots can?

Because Bumblebee is ******ed, but in a Sling Blade kind of a way. This explains how he kills the living **** out of a Decepticon later.

Why does Sam's mom buy and consume a pot brownie?

Well, Sam's mom was in a coma for the last 30+ years, which explains how she had never heard of marijuana, and why she didn't understand the consequences of eating it even after her husband specifically told her it was a pot brownie (Sam was unfortunately conceived and born during this period). A better question is why any college student in America would be selling pot brownies at an on-campus bake sale, let alone to a middle-aged woman.

A lot was made of how Shia the Beef's hand injury was written into the film. How was this done?

Well, sometimes Shia had a huge bandage on his hand, and sometimes he didn't.

That doesn't sound "written in" at all.

Well, no actual words are used to explain it. It might be more accurate to say it "shows up sometimes."

Why would a robot need to fart, pee, or vomit? And why would it need testicles?

Michael Bay does not understand what a robot is.

What is the point of the character of Sam's college roommate, and why the **** does he stay for the entirety of the movie?

I have no clue. He's not comedy relief, because that's covered by 90% of the Transformers themselves. He technically leads the Beef to John Turturro, but surely there could have been another way to do that. Besides, Turturro just leads them to Jetfire anyways. It's all extraneous.

Why can only a Prime kill the Fallen? Why can Jetfire teleport? Why can the Fallen wave a staff and make **** fly around? Why do actual cars and Autobots get sucked into Devastator's maw, but John Turturro and that other kid can run around?

Because... because **** YOU, that's why.

Can you explain Megan Fox's appeal?

Yes. She looks like a porn star and has the same acting talent as one, yet for some reason she makes mainstream movies. This tonal disconnect is what's so appealing about her.

If you had to pick a single scene that exemplifies Michael Bay's utter disdain for story and continuity, what would it be?

When five Decepticons sink to the bottom of the ocean to retrieve Megatron's corpse. A submarine tracks five "subjects" going down, and when they get there, one of the Decepticons is killed to give parts to Megatron. 5 -1 +1 = 5, right? No, because the sub somehow tracks "six" subjects coming up. Not only is this very basic math, this is the simplest of script errors. It could not possibly have been more than one page apart in the script. And yet Michael Bay either didn't care to notice or didn't give a ****. "Math? Math is for *******. My movies are about **** blowing up, man."

Could you sum up the film in one line of its dialogue?

"I am standing directly beneath the enemy's scrotum."

Some of the explanation in that list is just as stupid as the movie. I know it's a "joke" list, but some of it still is unbelievably stupid.

Let's take one...the John Turturro finding Jet Fire and/or translated the symbols.

First, he makes a claim that it was not an Autobot that translated the symbols, but John Turturro. He then later changes to them find Jet Fire, who was actually the one that did the translation of the symbols. I'm pretty sure Turturro's character stated that since he was with Section 8 from the first film before it disbanded, he had people on the inside that could help locate Jet Fire.

SOURCE

Michael Bay Orders Megan Fox to the Doctor Before 'Transformers 3'

Director Michael Bay announced a third "Transformers" movie will be hitting theaters on July 1, 2011 -- and not 2012 as originally thought -- on his web site on Thursday. And he also took the opportunity to further his war of words with his star, Megan Fox, by telling her to consult with a doctor before getting on board.

Fox originally drew Bay's ire while promoting this summer's "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen," when she said that "working with Michael Bay is not about an acting experience." Bay responded, "She says some very ridiculous things because she's 23 years old and she still has a lot of growing to do." Most recently, Fox compared Bay to "Napoleon" and said she and costar Shia LaBeouf "almost die when we make a 'Transformers' movie... He has you do some really insane things that insurance would never let you do."

In this latest blog post, Bay writes, "Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture." He goes on to say, "Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you."

Awww snap! And your comeback Megan?

Still didn't watched the second movie, but does Michael Bay really needs Megan Fox? Can't he just give the job to a starting actress that knows how to act, and would love the great opportunity... instead of Megan Fox that just looks pretty on the big screen?

Still didn't watched the second movie, but does Michael Bay really needs Megan Fox? Can't he just give the job to a starting actress that knows how to act, and would love the great opportunity... instead of Megan Fox that just looks pretty on the big screen?

You know...I thought Transformers 2 was very good...except for Shia LeBouf and Meghan Fox.

You know...I thought Transformers 2 was very good...except for Shia LeBouf and Meghan Fox.

I thought the same about first movie, haven't taken efforts to watch the second yet (it's on my netflix somewhere)

Producer Don Murphy maintains a pretty lively website and forum that was crashed for a bit this morning when Roberto Orci confirmed in a forum post that he and Alex Kurtzman would not return at all for Transformers 3, leaving script duties entirely in the hands of Ehren Kruger. (Well, not entirely, as Michael Bay will have his input.) This is no surprise to anyone who?s been following along over the past couple months.

One poster asked today if ?Bob and Alex? really weren?t returning for the next film, to which Orci responded ?It?s true.? Back in March, Orci had intimated, also on Murphy?s forum, that the pair would not return to write the third Transformers film. ?Time for fresh blood!? Orci said . ?The main reason we would move on is because we risk getting stale and comfortable. If you only sing one song for too long, you miss the opportunity to sing news songs. We?ll see.? Since then, the screenwriting name bandied about with respect to the film is Ehren Kruger, who also worked on Revenge of the Fallen.

I?m no great fan of Kruger?s, and many peg the writer?s work with Michael Bay as being the source of the ?humor? in Revenge of the Fallen that many found juvenile and terrible. (And, judging by the box office numbers, more found delightful. Go figure.) Can we expect more of that funny stuff in the third film? Seems reasonable to assume so at this point. The most interesting post from Orci, however, was one concerning the crude humor of Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. One post brings up anecdotal tales about parents not taking their kids to see the second film because of the humor, to which Orci responds, ?I can?t blame them.?

Meanwhile, we know that Bay has a story in mind and is already beginning work on the third film for that 2011 release date that Paramount announced and Bay originally renounced.

slashfilm

Megan Fox Killed Off In Next ?Transformers? Movie?

Will Megan Fox?s mega mouth get her ousted from the film franchise that made her an international sex symbol?

The bubbleheaded bombshell?s recent comments blasting Transformers director Michael Bay as tough to work for than ?Hitler? ? coupled with a scornful letter penned by members of the film?s crew, which slam Meg as an ungrateful brat ? could cost the outspoken brunette her job in the upcoming third installment.

Movie industry insiders tell In Touch Weekly, Michael is considering writing Megan out of the series in a gory death scene in the first few frames of Transformers 3 and replacing with another gorgeous young actress.

?Michael?s pretty much discovered Megan and now he?s very quietly looking for her replacement,? the source spilled. ?He hasn?t decided if he?s going to kill her off in the next movie, but he just wants to be prepared.?

This topic is now closed to further replies.
  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
  • Posts

    • Why you need to take back control of your synced passwords and how to go about doing that by Paul Hill Credit: Pixabay Last month, when Google decided to introduce daily and weekly caps for Gemini, it reignited an anxiety of mine, that you can’t really depend on service providers to maintain features forever, and it got me looking into free software (as in freedom) in other areas too. One app I quickly came across was KeePassXC on desktop and KeePassDX on Android as an alternative to password manager lock-in within the Chrome or Firefox ecosystems. I personally like to switch around with browsers, and using either password manager is inconvenient, so something like KeePassXC was interesting to me. The main issue with it now is syncing; I was not sure how to do that. After a bit of research, I came across Syncthing, a tool I was vaguely familiar with but had never used because it seemed complicated. However, I was completely wrong, and honestly, I think everyone should use it if they use multiple devices. It essentially lets you share folders peer to peer across all of your devices, no cloud services that you don’t control necessary! And it was fairly simple to set up, if not a bit clunky. Since setting it up, I’ve also started using Syncthing to back up other apps too, so don’t think it’s limited to just saving password databases. You can use it for pretty much anything you use Dropbox or Google Drive for. Before continuing to talk about those apps a bit more, let’s walk back a bit and talk about browser sync. Ever since the late 2000s and early 2010s, really, since we have been using smartphones, browser sync has been a necessity of life. I don’t know about you, but I have hundreds of passwords saved. For the most part, they’re all unique, so I don’t remember them and rely on software to manage them for me. Until recently, I’ve relied on password managers in Chrome and Firefox, but what I always found annoying was that it can be hard to transfer them between browsers. Sure, on Windows it is simple enough, but on Linux, exporting bookmarks has been temperamental. It works OK nowadays, but not too long ago, Chrome required you to enable exporting passwords in chrome://flags. The situation is even worse on mobile; there is no exporting or importing of passwords of any kind. You literally have to do it on a desktop, which is incredibly annoying in our mobile-first world. Sync also lets us take out bookmarks, history, tabs, and autofill data easily. To enable sync, it’s just a matter of signing into the browser once, and it handles the rest. It’s nice and easy. Obviously, all this has some issues, including those I’ve outlined above about it being hard to transfer data between browsers, but also things such as account suspension, lost account passwords, and other lock-in mechanisms, such as passkeys, being tied to a specific browser. On a sidenote, I have just removed all of my passkeys because they can make it harder to move browsers. I think the biggest threat to your synced passwords, especially if doing this with Google, is having your account suspended. I don’t ever expect mine to be suspended, but you do hear horror stories on Reddit where people lose access to their Google accounts. Imagine if you have hundreds of passwords, then suddenly lose access to them because Google froze your account, what would you do? So yes, it can be nice to use these syncing services for their convenience, but they also have risks. You may have seen me going on about free software quite a bit in my editorials. It’s essentially a concept championed by the Free Software Foundation. It’s software under particular licenses that grant you four freedoms: run the program for any purpose (0), study and change the source code (1), redistribute copies to others (2), and the freedom to distribute modified copies to others (3). For example, if there is an app I use and one day it gets abandoned by the developer, I can keep running it or even clone the software and continue developing it. Look at the myriad of cool services Google has run over the years before killing them. You can’t take the source code for those because they are proprietary, for the most part. Both KeePassXC and Syncthing are free software, so I get the freedoms listed above. In my use case where I’m syncing a database full of my passwords, I also get proper ownership over my data, there is no losing access to the database due to a frozen account, I can access the code of the tools I’m using, and I can get support from real people online if I run into issues, rather than having to consult a vague help page from an opaque company. With the KeePassXC password manager, you create a .kdbx file, which is what will be synced between devices. KeePassXC has cross-platform apps and also has browser extensions so that the browser can fetch passwords from the database once it is unlocked. Meanwhile, Syncthing is a peer-to-peer file sync tool where you can select folders to sync between your devices. Just pop files in the folders you choose, and then they will be available across your other devices whenever they come online. Syncthing is resilient as it works over both LAN and the internet and only ever sends content between your devices, never to a third-party server somewhere else. By combining these two pieces of software, you can essentially replicate the browser sync functionality. I have had a weird, conflicting issue where a new file is appearing, but it doesn’t seem to be impacting my main password database, which is updating between devices just fine. If you want to get a setup similar to what I have, you will need to go here to download KeePassXC for your computer. Once you have that, you will need to download your passwords from your web browser to a CSV file. In Chrome, you can type chrome://password-manager/settings into the URL bar, and you should see an option to download your passwords under Export Passwords. This will give you the CSV file you need for importing into KeePassXC. If you use a different browser, just use a search engine and type “browser-name export passwords” and muddle along. In KeePassXC, you’ll want to press Import File from the home screen, select the CSV file, and create a new database from it. On one of the screens of the wizard, there will be a Title field with a drop-down selected to none. Change this to Title and continue. You’ll select a name for the database, the encryption level (the defaults are fine), and then you will pick a password. I would choose four unrelated words that are easy for you to remember, as you’ll be typing them fairly often to access your passwords. When you have all your passwords in your new database, you will want to set up the browser extension so that your browser can fetch passwords from KeePassXC. Rather than explain how to do that here, refer to KeePassXC’s guide on how to set it up properly. Once you’ve got that set up, you want to install KeePassDX on Android. You can grab it on the F-Droid store and the Google Play Store. For iPhone users, there are other .kdbx-supporting apps, but I haven’t tried any of them, so have a look around and use what suits you. Once you have that done, you will want to install Syncthing on your computer and find a third-party app for your mobile device. On Android, I use an app called BasicSync; there are also options for iOS, but again, I’ve not tried these. Once you’ve got SyncThing, you’ll want to set it up and connect all of your devices together and share a folder between your gadgets. PCWorld has a good tutorial on setting up a synchronized file between your devices using SyncThing. Once you’ve set it up, congrats, you’ll never have to touch that stuff again except for adding or removing devices. I’ll be honest, I didn’t particularly like setting up Syncthing. It didn’t take me a massive amount of time, but I think I had to check online because I found it a bit confusing. That said, I’ve had it running for several weeks now and never need to touch the Syncthing settings, so that’s very nice. I also mentioned a conflicting file. I’m not sure why this is appearing, but the main .kdbx file seems to be updating and syncing just fine. What’s nice is that both KeePassXC and Syncthing are free software, so they won’t just vanish one day; you can take the code and fork the project or use a range of alternative implementations that others have made. It’s also nice that it works over LAN, so even if your ISP is having problems, your passwords will still sync. One area where you will want to be a bit more careful with this setup is if you only have one device. I am OK because I have a computer and two phones, all synced up. If you just have one device, you will probably want to store a backup of your .kdbx file somewhere else. Obviously, you’ll also want to remember your password really well, too. If you get locked out, it's game over. Overall, if you want to take back control of your computing from big tech, taking control of your passwords is an important part of this. You don’t need to immediately clear out your browser’s password manager; try running KeePassXC and the password manager concurrently for a while to see if you run into any problems. If you do try this out, let us know some other creative ways to use Syncthing. I haven’t really come up with a solution about what to do with my bookmarks, for example.
    • If the price was a dollar, someone would complain "Why isn't it free?" If it was free, someone would complain they weren't being paid to play it.
    • That lens of history will burn if you hold it at the right angle... Warn users too late: Shame, Microsoft! That extremely minor update to an obscure Control Panel widget required 2 years of warning. Warn users too early: Shame, Microsoft! We've got better things to do. Pipeline and process be damned, we'll just always be disappointed, eh?
    • Microsoft Paint used to be my favorite Windows app as a kid, and it's still pretty good by Usama Jawad I have been using Windows since the early 2000s, when I was around 10 years old or so. I vaguely remember playing around with Windows 98 and Windows 2000, but that may have been on school PCs which had old operating systems installed. My main OS on the home PC, and the one I recall spending most time with, was Windows XP. At that time, I used the home PC to create Word and PowerPoint documents for school, but a lot of the time, I simply used it to play games. My dad would bring game discs which we would try and install on the PC, sometimes unsuccessfully, and sometimes, we would rely on flash games in the browser, like Bubble Trouble on Miniclip. However, the problem with the latter approach was the internet speed. On a good day, our dial-up internet would offer us speeds of 56 kbps, but on most days, it was closer to 33 kbps. This did not facilitate online gaming as I would often have to wait minutes for a game to load or "draw" on the screen, and trying to download pirated games wasn't simple either. I remember getting tired of waiting for online games to load and just downloading simulator games from the Big Fish Games website instead, only to be disappointed after finding out that I was just being given access to trial versions of the title, and I needed to fork out money to pay for the full version. All of this is to say that it wasn't very easy to find entertainment options on the home PC when I was a kid, due to a number of reasons, mostly outside of my control. This situation pushed me towards a rather unconventional ally: Microsoft Paint. Whenever the internet wasn't working as good as I expected, I would simply spin up Paint and draw complete rubbish on the canvas. Of course, that wasn't always the intention, but it usually happened when I messed up drawing a straight line or something, and then I would give up on that particular piece and simply draw a random collection of objects. Microsoft Paint was extremely accessible and easy to use. Even if you weren't an artist, you could quickly understand the tools at your disposal and how to leverage them on a canvas. The absolute breadth on offer ensured that each painting was truly unique, as you could utilize various combinations of tools like the pencil, paint, spray paint, and more to truly personalize your creation. Since I wasn't particularly good at drawing both on digital screen or a physical screen, I remember that my main style of art would be to insert a bunch of randomly intersecting lines and then fill them with random colors through the paint can. I have trying to replicate that art style in the latest version of Paint below, and as you can see, it's truly Pablo Picasso-esque. The human imagination truly knows no bounds Microsoft Paint kept me occupied for hours and was my best friend when video games on the home PC were inaccessible for one reason or the other. There was no academic or professional reason for which I would need to use Paint, but I still loved using it in my personal time, even if what I created wasn't worth being shown to anyone. It was simply fun. Fast-forward to today, and the situation is mostly the same. Now that I am almost 29 years old, and I still have no reason to use Microsoft Paint in a professional capacity. In fact, I don't even use it in a personal capacity, except to dabble with it from time to time, just to see if core functionalities are still intact. And I'm happy to say that I think Microsoft Paint still offers the same accessibility and inviting experience that it did to me a couple of decades ago, even though its UX has been refreshed and it's been integrated with Copilot features. Interestingly, things could have been a lot different, had Microsoft had its way. Microsoft Paint was marked for deprecation with the Windows 10 Fall Creators Update in 2017, and even began displaying a product retirement alert, urging customers to shift to Paint 3D instead. Fortunately, after consumer backlash, Microsoft reversed course on this decision, and Paint continues to be a native app inside Windows installations that can also be updated quite frequently through the Microsoft Store. Instead, Paint 3D ended up on the chopping block, which is for the better, I think. I have intermittently played around with Microsoft's refreshed Paint experience in the past few years, and I do think it has received worthwhile upgrades. the UI and the UX has been modernized while retaining core functionality, and the app is still fairly easy to use. It doesn't meet any of my use-cases, but I've never really had any use-cases ever, as described previously. Of course, the elephant in the room is the Copilot integration. Personally, I believe that this is one place where Copilot does make sense, environmental concerns aside. I know that a lot of creatives use AI to generate images, and while some may be using professional alternatives, Paint still offers a decent casual experience, with the power of Copilot. Of course, you do need to have a valid Microsoft 365 Copilot license and available credits to use it, but even if you don't, you still get the big Copilot button in the toolbar, unfortunately. All in all, I am glad that Microsoft Paint continues to be a native feature in Windows 11, and a piece of software that has evolved to meet modern needs without cutting off its own roots. It's just an iconic piece of Windows history that was an essential part of my childhood, and while I don't use it anymore, I'm just glad it is still there.
    • 2TB WD_Black SN7100 PCIe Gen4 NVMe SSD drops to its lowest price in over three months by Fiza Ali Amazon is currently offering the 2TB WD_Black SN7100 internal solid-state drive at its lowest price in over three months, so you may want to check it out, if you have been considering a storage upgrade, before the deal dries up (purchase link is toward the end of the article). Featuring a PCIe Gen 4.0 interface and M.2 2280 form factor, the SN7100 promises to deliver sequential read speeds of up to 7,250MB/s and sequential write speeds reaching 6,900MB/s, offering as much as a 35% improvement in performance compared with the previous generation. It also achieves random read speeds of 1,000,000 IOPS and random write speeds of 1,400,000 IOPS. The drive uses Western Digital’s TLC 3D NAND technology for reliable performance and is further supported by a five-year limited warranty. It also offers strong endurance, rated at up to 1,200TBW, making it suitable for demanding workloads such as gaming, content creation, and high-speed recording. Moreover, its DRAM-less architecture claims to improve power efficiency (the SSD relies on system memory for caching via HMB), while the WD_Black Dashboard software enables users to monitor drive health, install firmware updates, and activate Game Mode for potentially better performance. Finally, it operates within an operating temperature range of 0°C to 85°C, and can withstand storage temperatures from -40°C to 85°C. 2TB WD_Black SN7100 PCIe Gen4 NVMe SSD: $242.96 (Amazon US) Check this deal out if you want a 4TB option. Good to know This Amazon deal is U.S. specific, and not available in other regions unless specified. We only use first-party seller links (at the time of article publishing); ensure that you purchase from a first-party seller link only. Check out Today's Deals on Amazon | or our recent tech deals. Become a Prime member (for Students or SNAP) via Neowin Get Prime Access - Prime for half price (for qualifying Medicaid, EBT, SNAP) Subscribe to Prime Video, Audible Plus, Music Unlimited or Kindle Unlimited via Neowin As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases.
  • Recent Achievements

    • Week One Done
      Supreme Spray LV earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Month Later
      Genuinetonerink- Dubai earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Week One Done
      Genuinetonerink- Dubai earned a badge
      Week One Done
    • One Year In
      hhgygy earned a badge
      One Year In
    • Week One Done
      AMV earned a badge
      Week One Done
  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      514
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      163
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      87
    4. 4
      Steven P.
      74
    5. 5
      Michael Scrip
      73
  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!