Man assault female police officer with....

[webeagle12]

Marium Varinauskas, 28, tried to strike the officer on the head with his pen*s when she was called out to his flat, but she got out of the way.

Lithuanian Varinauskas admitted a charge of assault at Aberdeen Sheriff Court and was fined ?600.

The court heard he had been drinking heavily and could not remember committing the offence at his home in Aberdeen.

Police were called to his home by his girlfriend, who had complained about him being drunk last November.

They arrived to find the self-employed engineer sitting on the sofa wearing a pair of underpants.

He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Defence solicitor John Hardie said: "He was sitting on the couch drunk with his pants on.

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

His not guilty plea to committing a breach of the peace by uttering offensive and sexual remarks was accepted by the Crown.

Sheriff Annella Cowan was told that the Lithuanian had now quit binge drinking because of the incident.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/north_east/8570398.stm

[Piggy]

haha evasive action to avoid getting struck! :laugh:

[Tech Star]

It must have been small. :whistle: :shiftyninja:

[qdave]

Such countrymen bring shame to me :(

[DavidM]

"He can't remember anything but accepts that if that's what the police say then that's what happened.

"He has never been so drunk before that day and accepts he has to take full responsibility. He apologises profusely and is extremely embarrassed."

Pretty sad when you can't remember waving your wing-dang-doodle at a police officer. Dumbass. Probably a good thing he's self-employed, imagine the jokes at work the next day.

[itzwolf]

:rofl: I freaking LOL'd at this. Evasive action to avoid the pecker!!

[Growled Member]

That doesn't sound like an assault to me. It sounds like a joke. :D

[DavidM]

That doesn't sound like an assault to me. It sounds like a joke. :D

Yes, it's all fun and games, until someone loses an eye! You've got your penis in my eye!, and you've got your eye on my penis!

Sorry, but this brings out the juvenile delinquent in me.

[prue3]

i don't get it.... was she that short that from him standing he could reach her head with his d*ck?

or maybe he is freakishly tall \ "large"? :huh:

i demand an explanation...

[_neutrino Veteran]

Interesting choice in weapon.

[MikeChipshop Member]

wing-dang-doodle

I lol'd

I got stopped by a cop the other day, she was awesome i'd have waved my wing-dang-doodle at her anytime...

[gian]

I lol'd

I got stopped by a cop the other day, she was awesome i'd have waved my wing-dang-doodle at her anytime...

are we going to call it wing-wang-dongle-whatever from now on? :p

pics or it didn't happen ;)

[webeagle12]

are we going to call it wing-wang-dongle-whatever from now on? :p

pics or it didn't happen ;)

you wonna see another man didl*?

[Draconian Guppy]

i don't get it.... was she that short that from him standing he could reach her head with his d*ck?

or maybe he is freakishly tall \ "large"? :huh:

i demand an explanation...

Yeah I don't get it either :/

[Dance.]

Maybe he pole vaulted at her with his pants down :p ?

[gian]

you wonna see another man didl*?

No!!!! lol I was talking about Mike's hot officer. :shifty:

[Denis W. Veteran]

The officer literally did a cockblock. :p

[M_Lyons10]

LOL This has some of the funniest wording of a story I've read in a while. LOL

Evasive action? ROFL

I am glad to hear that he's quit "binge drinking"... I guess just plain old drinking is still O.K... :rolleyes:

[webeagle12]

New chapter in police academy: " How to avoid getting struck by pen*s" :blush:

[clotz2000]

New chapter in police academy: " How to avoid getting struck by pen*s" :blush:

Should be an interesting training course! :laugh:

[JonathanVP]

I am surprised the cop's "evasive" action wasn't grabbing his penis and giving him a BJ! Wei'll see if he remembers that!

[Ash]

The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face

Umm does anyone else wonder how the hell tall this dude is to be standing over a police officer and waist level?

[webeagle12]

reminds me of this.....

[peacemf]

ohhh, the next day at work would be interesting..........

imagine the jokes the fellow officers would pull

[tiagosilva29]

You've got your penis in my eye!, and you've got your eye on my penis!

Sorry, but this brings out the juvenile delinquent in me.

Fiscal depute Elaine Lynch said: "The accused got to his feet and was standing over the police officer exposing his penis and thrusting it in her face, forcing her to take evasive action to avoid getting struck."

Either the policewoman has dwarfism, or he has acromegaly.