[Joke] Catholic vs Jewish Golf Match ..

By tajul
in Jokes & Funny Stuff

 Share

Recommended Posts

Grand Master

tajul

Posted
Posted

The Pope met with his Cardinals to discuss a proposal from Benjamin Netanyahu, the leader of Israel.

"Your Holiness", said one of his Cardinals, Mr. Netanyahu wants to challenge you to a game of golf to show the friendship and ecumenical spirit shared by the Jewish and Catholic faiths."

The Pope thought this was a good idea, but he had never held a golf club in his hand. "Don't we have a Cardinal

to represent me?" he asked.

"None that plays very well," a Cardinal replied. "But," he added, "there is a man named Jack Nicklaus, an American golfer who is a devout Catholic. We can offer to make him a Cardinal, then ask him to play Mr. Netanyahu as your personal representative. In addition, to showing our spirit of cooperation, we'll also win the match."

Everyone agreed it was a good idea. The call was made. Of course, Nicklaus was honored and agreed to play. The day after the match, Nicklaus reported to the Vatican to inform the Pope of the result. "I have some good news and some bad news, your Holiness," said the golfer.

"Tell me the good news first, Cardinal Nicklaus," said the Pope.

"Well, your Holiness, I don't like to brag, but even though I've played some pretty terrific rounds of golf in my life, this was the best I have ever played, by far. I must've been inspired from above. My drives were long and true, my irons were accurate and purposeful, and my putting was perfect. With all due respect, my play was truly miraculous.

"There's bad news?", the Pope asked.

"Yes," Nicklaus sighed. "I lost to Rabbi Tiger Woods by three strokes."

Link to comment
https://www.neowin.net/forum/topic/924856-joke-catholic-vs-jewish-golf-match/
Share on other sites
Veteran

DavidM

Posted
Posted

the catholics make some guy a cardinal and the jews made tiger woods their rabbi. both for the sole purpose of the golf game.

Some guy? Really? Jack "The Golden Bear" Nicklaus, one of the greatest golfers to have ever played the game, is just some guy?

Anyway, is Tiger Woods even Jewish? I thought he was a Buddhist?

This topic is now closed to further replies.
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.

  • Posts

    • The official Funny Pictures thread

      By Steven P. · Posted

    • Celebrating Windows XP's 25th anniversary this year

      By carols23 · Posted

      If I could, I would commemorate it the best way possible: Replacing old machines that are still running Windows XP with something more modern, stable and better.     Noone and nothing should be running Windows XP in 2026.
    • Google's new hand-wave reCAPTCHA can be bypassed with a stock photo

      By Ivan Jenic · Posted

      Google's new hand-wave reCAPTCHA can be bypassed with a stock photo by Ivan Jenic Image: Screenshot Google is testing a new reCAPTCHA method that asks you to wave at your camera to prove you're human. So, besides solving puzzles and reading distorted text, you can now use your computer’s camera to pass the verification test. When the hand gesture verification is triggered, your browser asks for camera access and prompts you to perform a simple gesture, like a wave or an open palm. Google says it records a short video of the movement and uses AI to extract 21 hand-knuckle coordinates to complete the verification process. The video is then immediately deleted, and Google swears it doesn't keep it. The process alone can be uncomfortable for people who wouldn’t want their biometric data, which hand scans technically qualify as, recorded. But it gets even more nuanced, as early testers discovered that the new hand-waving reCAPTCHA can be passed with a simple stock image. A user on X tested the new challenge using a stock image of a hand fed through OBS Virtual Camera, and it passed. I wanted to verify it, so I tried the same thing. It took me a few tries and a few stock images, but in the end, I was also able to pass the test. I simply had to readjust the stock image of a generic person waving inside OBS, and Google’s mechanism registered it as a legitimate hand gesture. Once again, it didn’t even have to be a video or an AI-generated hand animation. Given the simplicity of the process, the entire action can be automated in minutes. All it takes is a simple Python script to render the new reCAPTCHA method obsolete. And it doesn’t even have to be an AI bot, which is usually used for solving puzzles and other verification methods. The new reCAPTCHA method is still in its early phase, and Google will, hopefully, update its AI to at least reject still images. However, this incident, combined with users’ initial skepticism about Google’s practices regarding user data, likely won’t make too many people wave at the camera anytime soon.
    • Why it's almost impossible to produce a smartphone in the United States

      By monterxz · Posted

      🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 "to fund healthcare and tuition" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Who do you think you are talking about, some COMMUNIST? We are better than them, doG bless Murica!!! p.s. I'm from a country where government does exactly that, i.e. not form US.
    • Microsoft Edge gets tons of security features, including AI model that can see your screen

      By ad47uk · Posted

      Apparently not. I know it is on Edge for business at the moment, but how long will it be before it become on the home version of Edge?

  • Recent Achievements

    • First Post
      carols23 earned a badge
      First Post
    • One Month Later
      Tom Willson earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Apprentice
      Asgardi went up a rank
      Apprentice
    • One Month Later
      sunrisea2milk earned a badge
      One Month Later
    • Week One Done
      sunrisea2milk earned a badge
      Week One Done

  • Popular Contributors

    1. 1
      +primortal
      497
    2. 2
      +Edouard
      256
    3. 3
      PsYcHoKiLLa
      155
    4. 4
      Steven P.
      89
    5. 5
      macoman
      66
    Show More

  • Tell a friend

    Love Neowin? Tell a friend!